How can Zhong Xiaoqin not get divorced and being angry with Chen Yu are frequently searched. In the latest episode, the wish of persuading the detachment to leave is finally fulfilled, and the couple stamp the divorce.
Why do we all want to leave?
Because the situation of their rent-a-share marriage is so real that it hurts countless peoples hearts.
How suffocating is the co tenancy marriage?
Two people live under the same roof, one with pad after work, the other with fishing gear to play with the beloved fish in the fish tank, each doing the whole process without communication;
Chen Yu only washed his own clothes and only accepted his own. This situation lasted for three years;
On the dining table, even face-to-face, they stare at the mobile phone and have no communication;
Chen Yus unit encountered difficulties and was scolded by the leader. When he returned home, Xiaoqin saw that he was in a low mood and asked why. He replied, you dont understand what happened.
This is supposed to be a warm atmosphere after marriage, but it has become a stagnant life, full of depression and unhappy atmosphere.
Xiaoqin lost and at a loss: we are both very energetic when we play, how to get together, an hour can not be spent.
It seems that husband and wife eat and sleep together every day, but they are not intimate lovers. The distance in their hearts is like a galaxy. Two people are like roommates who share their own lives and play. Where is the shadow of happiness in such a life?
Looking at the daily life, the veil of the joint rent marriage has only been uncovered. Not careful after pregnancy, two peoples different reaction is a tear off the camouflage.
On the one hand, Chen Yu, who had not planned to have a child in five years, actively sought a hospital for abortion; on the other hand, Xiao Qin, who did not give up her new life, thought that having a child would break their usual silence and coldness.
With the loss of the child due to fetal arrest, Xiaoqin also realizes how obvious their problems are. She was so sad that she couldnt sleep every night, but Chen Yu snored and fell dead. The missing child had no effect on him at all.
Its not hard to understand why Zhong Xiaoqin screamed we divorce hysterically after a day of confusion on her 30th birthday.
Dont live a lonely life, dont let a room sleep out of two worlds, dont let the sharing marriage destroy the initial love is to give us a warning.
The core problems of the cover up of the joint rent marriage
The daily reality of Zhong Xiaoqin and Chen Yu is only the appearance of the joint rent marriage. If we go deeper into it, we will find that many behaviors are due to the relationship inertia caused by psychological inertia.
One is the exquisite egoism, which has been confirmed by Chen Yu.
The reason why the joint rent marriage is not so hot is that Chen Yu always puts himself first.
He washed his clothes and worried about his work. He only loved his fish, but his wifes favorite cat was not allowed to be raised. He put it in his mother-in-laws house. His wife never asked how his wife worked. He could not shed a tear when the child was gone, but he was furious because he pulled out the electricity from the fish tank.
The emotional self-interest of the party will rarely experience the other partys pay and emotion.
Chen Yu has built the cold cornerstone of his small home by his own efforts, and his reheated heart will also be cooled.
The opposite of love is not hate, but neglect and perfunctory.
Xiao Qin and his colleagues had a dinner together and had an acute gastroenteritis. He wanted to call Chen Yu and ask him to pick it up. However, he still said, Ill call a car back. he couldnt get away from the party with his fish friends.
Did you see?
Her needs have been ignored, and the ingredients of love are almost invisible.
When Xiaoqin asked why he wanted to get married, Chen Yu said the bottom of his heart: marriage is to relax, to live a down-to-earth life.
If you want to take marriage as a safe haven, but you dont take the right attitude. If you dont care about it or pay attention to it, you will gradually degenerate into a shared rental relationship, and you will have to bear the consequences that are getting weaker and weaker.
Ive heard many people complain that their married life is becoming more and more careless and lack of care. In fact, they are lack of management of their married life.
Learn to adjust and communicate
American psychologist John Gottman has done research and found that people tend to think that couples who seem more tolerant tend to have stronger marriages. But the truth is that couples who have low tolerance and know how to communicate have a longer marriage relationship.
Little communication and weak concern are the causes of emotional rigidity.
Integrate into your own life
Everyones hobbies are different to a great extent, but it doesnt mean that different hobbies cant be integrated into the hearts of both sides.
Because if you love someone, you must try to find a way to enter your heart, rather than push it out like Chen Yu.
Li Sheng and Li Jiahang, who took part in mother-in-law and mother, have this scene:
Li Jiahang and his guests are studying hand games. His wife, Li Sheng, doesnt play games. She seems bored. At this time, Li Jiahang says she wont play with her wife. Unexpectedly, Li Sheng says, play, Ill download one.
Do open to each other, even if it is not good at hobbies, work together to pass customs is to add color to love.
The reason why home is warm is that it abandons individualism, enlarges love, feels love and has a sense of belonging in the role of husband and wife.
Like Xiaoqins wedding vows to her colleagues:
No matter how busy we are, we have to eat together. We dont play mobile phones on the dining table;
In case you want to quarrel, todays quarrel is over, do not take trouble into sleep;
Necklaces and Earrings dont compete with the mirror. Ill help you wear them;
Will not be silent and false sleep, to ensure that never lost contact;
This is the marriage life that everybody yearns for.
We should work together to resist the dull, anxiety and impermanence of marriage, face the aging, forgetfulness and obesity in the years, create new lives together, send them on a long journey, and wait for them to go home.