Her tone shows that she is very anxious for the peeping impulse that she cannot overcome. She seems to have foreseen that this strong desire to control her husband may cause the family to fall apart and out of control, but she has been unable to extricate herself.
She is the chief doctor of a hospital, her husband is a trumpet player, and now she is the head of an art group. Half a year ago, on a moonlit midnight, after taking care of her children as usual, she picked up her professional book and waited for her husbands return. In the middle of the night, the phone rang and a friend of her husband reminded her, havent you noticed the change in your husband If one day he leaves you, what will you do
Her friend openly gave her a kind warning, which shows how far things have developed, and why they have no feeling? She was not only angry, even panicked. She was unpredictable. What would happen to him next? Anger and terror filled her heart with hallucinations, as if the house were to be destroyed tomorrow. Scenes of the past quickly passed in his mind, and the accepted and past facts were full of doubts: Why did he always have to call on his cell phone instead of on his back at home? Why does he have to be home after 12 oclock every night? Why She couldnt help it any longer. She paged her husband three times just after midnight. After that, she covered her ears nervously with her hands. She was afraid to hear the bad news from the telephone.
Just then, the door opened, and the tired husband looked at the pager on the Chinese machine and his nervous wife. She was sober, and she could not help jumping into her husbands arms, as if he was a treasure that had been lost and recovered. However, the shadow of the telephone has not been eliminated, but like a bomb sinking to the bottom of my heart. The wife wanted to find out the truth through her own efforts. That night, she concealed the phone call from her husband. However, since then, the warmth and peace of the family will no longer exist.
At first, her husband didnt understand why his wife always called at work. Her husband calls back in time every time, which makes her investigation impossible. However, as soon as she puts down the phone, her heart is filled with suspicion. Because her mind has been controlled by the advice phone, she has been constantly hinted that there is no fire without wind, and there is a reason for her husbands affair.
Under the control of this psychology, she was no longer satisfied with her husband. She only answered with her on the phone. Finally, one day, she could not care to hide her real psychology any more. She asked her husband to let her colleagues talk with her to prove that.
My husband works long and middle classes for many years. Midnight is the busiest time in all kinds of nightclubs and entertainment halls. When he is tired that day
After listening to his wifes narration, the husband slumped on the sofa without saying a word. He is a very introverted personality, cherish their own language, easy not to speak. He did not use a word to express himself, nor a word to denounce friend. He only threw a cold word: I dont believe that a friend will do such a thing.
Looking at his wife crying, the husband finally said, whats the use of what I said? You believe what I said? Its better to visit yourself. After a long time, the truth will come out.
However, between their husband and wife, since then, there has been a heavy thing that can never be removed. The layer of separation caused by the advice phone is sometimes thick and sometimes faint, seemingly vague, but it has never disappeared. Although the wife still calls at least three times a day, her husband also replies to her, and sometimes even takes the initiative to hand the phone to someone else when it is too late. However, the husband and wifes feelings are getting worse and worse. The husbands words are less, and the wifes doubts are also accumulating day by day, because there is no evidence to investigate.
One day, when she woke up from a nightmare in the middle of the night and felt the half empty bed around her, her endurance seemed to be at its utmost. She paged her husband three times in a row, which had the tendency of I cant live if you dont go home again. Her husbands return call finally came. She breathed a little, and her mood eased a little. What was terrible was that she heard a womans voice nearby from the phone, so she couldnt restrain hysteria. She must tell her husband exactly where he was at that time, and then she took a taxi to rush there crazily. After the climax in the nightclub, the husband was in the office discussing the performance with the middle-aged female manager, sipping coffee. The husband cant hide his anger at the frightened wife who rushes into the door, but the female manager knows the whole situation in a moment.
His wife suddenly stopped crying, raised her puzzled face and said, will you? Then she trembled like a fever.
Since the truth has been initially revealed, the wifes heart seems more stable. She now believes that the matter is not out of control, but that she needs to restore her husbands heart step by step. She started a series of rescue project activities. She was in this state of mind when she called for advice.
According to my advice, when the impulse to call is hard to restrain, she can go shopping to disperse her anxiety. However, she said with tears that this kind of control was too difficult for her. Even walking on the street, even seeing the public phone, would arouse her impulse to call. For this reason, she felt very painful and desperate.
In my opinion, this doctors wife is lucky enough. The husband bet his marriage chips on the family side, which is not necessarily out of conscience and morality, but more out of comprehensive consideration. On balance, he needs all the existing.
The gap between husband and wife should be considered carefully. According to the Convention, doctors and musicians may be quite different in ideological connotation. In addition, husband and wife are quite opposite in character, and their working hours are often not in the same place, which reduces the communication opportunities between the two sides. In this case, it makes sense that either husband or wife has friends of the opposite sex. So what to do with it? In fact, the process of marriage is a process of continuous development of feelings, coordination of relations and enhancement of understanding. No one is a pure independent individual. They are all people in the environment. The only way to solve problems is to actively solve them. For example, this wife adopts the method of dragging and dragging to bridge the gap between husband and wife, and the result is necessarily counterproductive. The husband feels that he cant bear the heavy burden, and may be chased back to life. If she adopts a loose policy and keeps a proper psychological space with her husband, so that both sides can feel more comfortable and relaxed, it may make the family more stable.
Together with her, I analyzed the psychological motivation of the caller. Generally speaking, this kind of irresponsible phone call is not out of love and care for friends and their wives, but more likely to be hate and jealousy. It may be that he was dissatisfied with his friend as the orchestra leader, or the woman who was close to the trumpet player was his secret love object for a long time, so he foolishly used this method to let his wife repair his husband, so that he could get a chance. Although we cant know exactly why, the nature of his harassment is certain.
In compliance with my wifes wishes, I dialed her husbands cell phone, and I heard a very depressing bass. He showed dissatisfaction with being disturbed, but when I said that I was a psychological worker and told his wifes psychological problems needed him to cooperate in treatment, his attitude was obviously eased. When he knew that his wife was not unreasonable, but caused by illness, he seemed to have a kind of relief. I dont think he is easy, so he is respectable.
This incident gives me an inspiration: in a marriage relationship, trust between husband and wife is the most important, and the appropriate psychological distance is the concrete embodiment of trust. Once you lose trust, the closer you chase, the farther he will escape.
analyse and comment on
In such cases, we usually stand in her position according to her specific requirements and specific circumstances, and discuss with her the comprehensive interests that are suitable for her. We reject the view that is divorced from reality and emphasizes womens self-esteem unilaterally.
It is also the husband who has an affair, but the situation is different. Some are sexual partners, some are business partners, some are playing games, and there are relationships that they cant tell themselves clearly. In this case, after the situation changes, more husbands can wait for home. For men, there is also a problem of comprehensive interests. Of course, those who have bad conduct or have intimate feelings with the other party are excluded. If we meet a husband who is determined to leave home, it is our duty to help her understand the truth of the matter, to get out of the sorrow as soon as possible, and to minimize the harm.