Now I work in Silicon Valley for more than a year. Take the work tag. The green card is in the queue. No house, good income, plan to buy a house. About two boyfriends.
The first one talked about four years of University. He was born in a big city, capable, good-looking and good family. Im a bit arrogant. Im a bit negative and picky. When it comes to marriage, they split up in a foreign country for half a year.
The boys after work are more complicated. I feel good ability, ambitious boys, a bit picky arrogant, more even tendency.
For example, I met an Ivy League doctor who worked in a large company to do AI. In the next few decades, he has a good family condition and looks ok. I feel that he wants to find a smart girl who can listen to him and take care of her family.
The boys who are amiable, tolerant and considerate are more comfortable.
For example, I met a kind-hearted boy with good family conditions. I felt warm when he was there. Im not so tangled with his understatement.
Im greedy. I dont think the boys who have good ability and make more money cant be considerate of me; if they can be considerate, I dont think they make much money and dont make progress.
I was also confused about whether I would prefer career or family after 30. I am not stupid in my career. I can bear hardships and do things in a planned way. On the other hand, I have a traditional idea that to marry a capable husband, family is the destination of girls.
Cold love reply:
First, the girl said, Im greedy. I dont think the boys who have good ability and make more money cant be considerate of me; if they can be considerate, I think they make less money and do not make progress.
The confusion of female owners is also the dilemma faced by many older single unmarried young women, that is, I dont like the people who like me, and the people I like dont like me..
And all people who encounter this problem do not understand an important principle in mate selection.
Next, I use the analogy between buying a house and choosing a spouse to let you understand this principle.
Buying a house is a market for buyers and sellers to choose freely, so is choosing a spouse, which is a market for both men and women to choose freely.
In such a free market, all the multiple-choice problems we face can be solved with the truth of one sentence, which is called the optimal solution under the constraint of finite conditions.
For example, when we buy a house, we only have a sum of money, but we may want a lot of things.
For example, if female owners want boys to make money and make progress, it may be equivalent to the geographical location when they buy a house.
The boy she wants to be considerate may be equivalent to floor, orientation and so on.
But the problem is that the price of a house that meets the location requirements, the orientation of the floor and the age of the building may have exceeded the budget.
As long as people who have bought a house have similar entanglements, that is: which point should I compromise?
In the end, you will find that there must be something that you just need.
If it is for children to go to school, buying a house can only accommodate the degree.
If it is for the convenience of their own work, they can only accommodate the location.
I recommend that all single people who can afford to buy a house once.
In the process of buying a house, we will find out what is compromise.
If one cant learn to compromise, he cant fight against his greedy heart devil.
Only by subduing the greedy heart demon can we get happiness.
Otherwise, looking at this mountain, there will always be that high mountain.
I have said before that we must do the creation of overseas Chinese. Whether it is Southeast Asia, Europe, America, Australia and New Zealand, we hope to go to some places where there are overseas Chinese to do more creation and connect with local small partners.
Why do you do this?
Because of my overseas experience, I realized that overseas Chinese have a very important emotional problem called the maternal nature of culture.
This question is very profound. Todays question and answer cannot be explained clearly.
The so-called also confused after 30 years old, they should prefer career or family, the traditional concept is to marry a capable husband, family is the destination of girls, in fact, it is influenced by the cultural matrix.
It can be said that although this girl came to Silicon Valley from a small county, the influence of her mother culture still exists.
In other words, she may have received advanced science and technology education, but she has not adapted to the relationship education developed under the local soil.
So her model of relationships needs a new migration.
At this point, she will face two solutions:
Or, to find people with the same cultural matrix as themselves, that is, to comply with the so-called traditional ideas - to find a husband with strong traditional ideas, and both of them share the same views.
Or, adapt to the local culture.
Speaking of this, I think of an interesting story I once saw on Weibo.
This story tells the story of a man to the United States, slowly found that he wanted is no longer like the silly white sweet girl, is no longer a good girl.
Of course, we dont compare the differences between eastern and Western cultures.
I also think that there is no difference between any culture and another culture.
I just want to say that different choices should have different adaptations.
Finally, I would like to remind you that if you work in Silicon Valley, you can continue to pursue your career, because even if you cant buy a house by yourself, you also hope to build a life together with your partner.
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