Near the end of work, I saw the news of Si Wen Cheng Lus divorce and suddenly ran into a hot search.
The office exploded.
Many people may not know who Siwen and Cheng Lu are.
They were the first to get angry because of the story of making husband and wife brothers..
In the talk show, Siwen says that her husband Cheng Lu is his brother sleeping in the upper bunk. Humor and point to the point to write the relationship between husband and wife pain and itch.
Now they are divorced, from a brother in marriage to a real brother
Cheng Lu said: after friendly negotiation, we have indeed gone through the divorce procedures, from husband and wife to brother.
Sven replied, its a real brother. Come on.
I didnt expect it to be true.
They make complaints about the relationship between husband and wife on the stage. They seem to be Tucao but they always feel that their relationship is solid.
So, when the divorce broke out, I was surprised at the first time, but then I felt that the divorce of the couple was very peaceful and decent.
A message said, this is the friendliest divorce statement Ive ever seen.
There is only understanding and blessing.
The bound divorce
Its very difficult to get a good divorce because its very difficult to divorce itself.
In our society, there are contextual constraints on divorceu2014u2014
The old man will say: you can make a living.
Parents will ask: do not make money? Domestic violence?
Relatives and friends will say: why not be careful when you get married?
The most painful thing is that when it comes to divorce, we have to face the inference of wrong divorce: who must have done something wrong in the marriage?
Or is the woman too strong and the man cant help but want to leave?
Is one side cheating? Which party?
Yeah, no obvious mistakes. Do you really want a divorce?
Did I do something wrong in my marriage? You want a divorce?
Am I unable to maintain a close relationship?
To sum up, divorce is not a good thing. There is a sense of shame in it.
Therefore, seeing the divorce declaration of Siwen and Cheng Lu, I think they are brave enough to overcome the shackles of shame on divorce.
I havent seen a match in my life. If you say lets get divorced, it will work.
The end of a relationship also needs to be treated well
Most divorces are full of sadness, even tearing.
The most famous scene of last years big fire horror film marriage story is that Charlie and Nicole, who once knew each other as the love of this life, pointed at each others noses and scolded each other when their relationship broke down and they were preparing to divorce
I want to skin myself when I want to sleep with you!
I wake up every day hoping youre dead! I wish you were sick and killed by a car!
Sometimes, its not the decision of divorce that makes people sad, but when we deal with this relationship, we have the hurt of quarrel, accusation and abuse, which makes us deeply rooted in our hearts.
In the movie no questions about the west, there is a particularly worrying plot.
But Shufen couldnt afford to lose. At that time, her heart was tightly hooped, and she couldnt imagine the possibility of teacher Xu changing her mind. So she took a knife to force her death, won the marriage, but also fell into more than ten years of torture - her husband also hated her.
The bondage of mind is the most terrible punishment in the world.
And this kind of marriage that is trapped in marriage and doesnt know how to make the relationship better, or how to end it, is still there.
For my cousin, not divorcing is no longer the protection of marriage, but the punishment to the other side, but ultimately hurt yourself.
And sometimes, without a good divorce, it will bring harm to children.
I have a friend who is engaged in divorce mediation in the court. I shared a case with me. A couple broke up and quarreled about splitting cars and housing, but they didnt want children. Neither grandparents nor grandparents.
Children dont cry. They talk to their parents carefully and in a flattering tone. They are really distressed.
There is a new consulting service for couples in foreign countries, called divorce counseling. It provides psychological services for couples who intend to divorce. The goal of the service is to help them end the relationship psychologically.
What are the characteristics of a good divorce?
The first point is: we should have a correct understanding of divorce. It is not because of incompetence that the marriage ends, but because it is unnecessary to maintain this relationship.
In fact, it is to break free from the shackles of public opinion.
Marriage is essentially the maintenance of a close relationship. Since intimate relationship can start or end, when we choose to end, it is not because we are unable to maintain it, but because we feel unnecessary.
When two people first decide to be together, it is a marriage to meet their own needs.
Dont blame yourself or feel guilty about the end of the relationship, just because its inappropriate.
I think of Faye Wong and Li Yapeng. When they were together, Faye Wong liked Li Yapengs steadiness, reliability and home.
But as we grow up, we gradually have different needs for the relationship. We choose to end a relationship not because of who is wrong or who will not maintain the relationship, but because our needs for relationship are different, so we choose to separate.
The second point: after the end of the relationship, the two people turn into another kind of cooperation, each is not a partner, but each is the childs parents.
This is for families with children.
After the end of the relationship, a new relationship needs to be established. Under the premise that two people do not become partners, they can still adopt cooperative means for the same goal.
We sometimes miss the past, because we are familiar with each others life around us, but when we break the past familiarity, it also means the arrival of a new life.
New travelers come up, bring new stories, accompany Chihiro on the next journey.
I think partners may be the same, some of them can only accompany us through a part of the journey of life, when we wave goodbye, it is also when we look forward to the next new journey alone.