She has been in the company for three years, and she can be pleasant to everyone. Sometimes the leader is in a bad mood, and if she stabs her, she doesnt say anything.
Next to the daughter also suffered, a month or two ago lost toys, she also took out a meal to blame.
In private, literary friends advise her to speak like this. Its hard for her husband and children to listen.
She said with disapproval: a family, pay attention to so many do what, to them fierce, but also for their good.
One of the important reasons for this contrast is that, in some peoples eyes, if outsiders cant offend, family members will not care. Anyway, family members will not hold grudges and will not leave themselves.
Little do not know, reckless, does not mean that the injured do not care; easy to forgive, does not mean that the feelings are not hurt.
Zhou Guoping said: it is instinct to be critical of close people, but to overcome instinct and not to be critical of close people is a kind of education.
Family members are the people who have been together for the longest time and have the most intimate feelings. Being kind to family members is a persons top education and lifelong cultivation.
I read a story in special attention magazine.
A middle-aged couples marriage was in crisis, but no one wanted to get divorced. They just had a bad heart and a bad life. Helpless, the couple turned to their emotional tutor for help.
His wife replied, he doesnt talk to me more than three times every day. Do I make him so disgusted?
The husband cant help but explain: no matter what I say, its either sarcasm or complaining and roaring. I dare to say it. Its better to do more work to save worry.
The wife let the emotional tutor judge. Emotional tutor said: today you two can come here, it shows that you still cherish marriage. What else can you do for each other
The husband sincerely said to his wife, I dont need you to do a lot for me. I can do all the work at home. I just want you to smile at me every day.
As a result, hurt the other party does not know, do not respect the other side also feel for granted. Over time, there will be crises and cracks in family life. Any small problem among family members may become a big problem affecting family happiness.
Stephen Covey wrote in the seven habits of efficient families:
We are used to yelling at our family members, blaming but not understanding, ordering but not communicating, learning not to thank and apologizing. We all feel that we have paid too much for our family life, but we have neglected the most important point: effective communication.
It is the right way to resolve family conflicts and enhance each others feelings by being kind to family members and communicating peacefully.
There is no need for family members to divide the victory and defeat. It is the most stupid behavior to lose temper with the family members who get along with each other day and night.
Why knife mouth
Nonviolent Communication says:
Maybe we dont think our way of talking is violent, but our language often causes pain for ourselves and others.
As soon as the daughter entered the door, her mother said angrily, do you still know how to come back? What time is it? If you dont answer the phone or wechat, who are you worried about?
Mother a listen to this words more angry: you still have reason!
Seeing a quarrel break out, dad stood up and said:
So late, tired? Your mother and I have been waiting for you, even if you said you would come back late, lets go to bed early without waiting for you, we cant sleep, worry about you. When I come back late, Ill call home in the middle of the way, so we can rest assured.
The daughter listened and said, I know, Dad, I will call home in time.
The parents worries and concerns about their children are the same, but the mothers words make the daughter feel less concerned, but criticize and complain; the fathers words not only fully express their concern for their daughter, but also tactfully remind her of her inappropriateness. After listening, the daughter fully accepted it, because she felt concerned.
Psychology believes that the success or failure of communication between people, 80% depends on emotion.
To communicate with family members, good words should also be easy to say, with a pleasant face and soft tone, so as to receive the ideal effect.
Close the knife mouth and leave tofu heart.
Because the knife mouth will make the face look ugly, will make the words become ugly, thus making the tofu heart also become ugly, and even make the family breed too much trouble and right and wrong.
The most difficult upbringing
Its about being nice to your family
Ive seen such a story.
Zhou Jue has been married for several years and has never had a child. Her mother is very anxious and always advises her to have a baby early when she is young.
Zhou Jue was upset by her mother and said, OK! Come on! How well do you think we have raised our brothers and sisters! Its like raising chickens and feeding pigs all day long. The conditions are so bad that you cant eat or wear them!
I am a girl, has been picking up her brother and sisters old clothes to wear, until high school did not wear a piece of their own new clothes! I would rather not have children than suffer from this kind of suffering for my own children
After listening to Zhou Jues words, her mother was very sad. She hid in the room and secretly wiped her tears.
Mother worked hard to bring up the child, no return, in exchange for complaints, how can not sad tears.
Confucius said that lust is difficult, which means that it is the most difficult to treat parents with a pleasant face.
It is believed that many people can bring gifts to visit their parents on New Years holidays, or invite a nanny, eat a big meal, or treat their parents. However, it is difficult to be kind to their parents.
OK, OK, I know. Its wordy;
Dont ask if you dont understand;
Your set is out of date;
I told you not to clean up my room, you cant find anything;
I know what I want to eat. Dont clip it to me;
I have my own sense of propriety. Stop talking. Im bored.
Think about these words, do we also say to our parents? Many people always vent their worst feelings to their parents, and they always lack enough respect and patience for those who should be respected most.
Filial piety to parents is not only to give them material satisfaction, and to speak well with them is the greatest filial piety to parents.
One year, Bill Gates told the reporter of opportunity magazine in Italy that love is the most can not wait, love is the opportunity that we cant delay the most.
Relatives only once fate, only in this life, no next life.
Leave the best emotions to the most intimate people, will not let their own life have regrets, but also the true treasure of the good feelings in life.