Among them, Qin Haos honest man Zhang Dongsheng is a very typical example.
Zhang Dongsheng, an Olympiad Mathematics Teacher in the childrens palace, has unstable work, no establishment and low income; his wife, Xu Jing, is from an intellectual family and is a doctor himself.
Xu Jing didnt love him for a long time, and repeatedly filed for divorce. She has also found a new boyfriend.
Zhang Dongsheng had already known that his wife had no feelings for him. He knew that his parents in law did not think highly of him and that he could not be worthy of his wife everywhere
For example, he pushed away the party in the office and went home to cook; he took an active part in his wifes family entertainment and took the initiative to drink; he also offered to take his parents in law to climb mountains to please relatives;
It seems that I have deep feelings for this family.
But because his wife insisted on divorce, Zhang Dongsheng quietly killed three of the family.
Are not all the cases of hiding corpses in the refrigerator and burning the ex girlfriend of Land Rover in the news all done by such honest people? Almost every day, there are cases of killing wives and girlfriends. From time to time, there are several cases in which a son-in-law kills his wifes family. Each of these murderers is a pitiful looking Zhang Dongsheng.
From the murderers point of view, they are all affectionate: those who eat and drink from the woman ask for money but no money, they want to look ugly, they are psychologically gloomy and unable to communicate; according to their qualifications and abilities, if they dont take the blood of the womens family, they are doomed to live a very bad life. Therefore, they will never give up the woman to leave.
Dont sympathize with such honest people.
Of course, its a film and TV series. After all, this extreme situation in life is still rare. However, it is very common for one party to have no feelings or even despise them, while the other side still keeps them.
To be fair, does the other party realize that the other party doesnt love her anymore? Do you realize that you are not respected and that you are not happy in your marriage? I know for sure. But why do they still insist on not separating or divorcing? Why should we keep this marriage shell anyway?
This happens to people of all genders. But in reality, the performance of men and women is often different.
First, women. We often see in the social news that some women still refuse to divorce after their husbands domestic violence, gambling, infidelity, debt and sexual incompetence?
There may be a balance of interests, such as childrens problem, house problem, property division problem. After calculating the account - forget it, Id rather get hit. But in fact, the more common mentality is: to keep a marriage is to keep a reputation; to lose a marriage is a social death. Although people are modern, the traditional brand is still deep. They dont need the emotional link of intimate relationship, but they bind the value of marriage and life together rashly.
The way that women refuse to break away from marriage or emotional relationship is often self inflicted threat: throwing, which is to allow their own dignity, suicide, is to intimidate their own lives.
In addition to begging, they can also use violence to humiliate their wife until they kill the woman or destroy the family, just like Zhang Dongsheng.
In the past, there was a saying that thirty one flowers for boys and thirty rotten tea dregs for women. It was not said that almost all men would remarry, and women would not remarry much? In such a social tradition, why dont men leave quickly and look for better ones?
Because, in China, where there are more than 30 million men than women, most middle and low-level boys will only encounter marriage squeeze, which will be more difficult. How difficult is it for a Chinese man like Zhang Dongsheng, who has no establishment, no career, no hair, no sexual ability and no money, to find a new partner? How difficult is it to find a woman with such living conditions as Xu Jing?
Once separated, the living standards of these men will be greatly reduced, and their social evaluation will become worse, even a woman can not be retained; on the other hand, their self-esteem is also unacceptable. Whats more, if you can find a girlfriend and wife when you are young and handsome, where can you find a new girlfriend with similar qualifications? This is Zhang Dongshengs sentence I gave everything to you, which means, I cant find anyone else except squeeze from you.
The social status quo is that women who have nothing can only endure and hurt themselves, while men who have nothing are more likely to take risks and take revenge against social behaviors.
How to avoid finding such a seemingly calm honest man?
It seems to be a metaphysics. No one could have imagined that a teacher of Mathematical Olympiad in the childrens palace, a gentle and gentle person, would be bald, impotent, kill his wife and kill several people in one breath, but he would not be red hearted.
However, no matter whether it is a man or a woman, it is a terrible existence to attach great importance to marriage and family, and there is no other pleasure or alternative in life. This kind of person, when good, is very kind to you, pays a lot, makes people very moved; but once there is a bit of discord, he will hate you for taking away all he has. The consequences are unimaginable.
Similarly, we should not be such people ourselves.
You see, in the secret corner, Zhu Chaoyangs mother, Chunhong, divorces her husband and devotes all her energy to her son. She often suffers from mental breakdown. Although her grades are good, she also becomes depressed and distorted psychologically.
I dont like the publicity of marriage and feelings in the past, which enlarges the significance of marriage to women countless times. But in this era of everything will change, once the marriage changes, the woman may be faced with a desperate life; at the same time, a man thinks it is natural to have a wife. Once the other party wants to divorce, he will destroy his life and wish to kill her.
We need to establish emotional links with others, which can be stable and reassuring, but this kind of emotional links should not be a place for a person to settle down.
An emotional link can never be the only meaning of life.