A quarrel is a cold war. I have to take the initiative to find him first. Does he not know how to cherish it after a long time?

 A quarrel is a cold war. I have to take the initiative to find him first. Does he not know how to cherish it after a long time?

Thank you for writing down your valuable suggestions on todays emotional problems.

The beauty asked:

My boyfriend and I have just graduated from university. Now its nearly three years. The place where we live is only an hours drive.

In recent years, I have also talked about marriage. My boyfriend is a salesman. Compared with me who has a fixed rest day in the unit, I will be very busy.

Because the last quarrel, or the second one, will say something like think again.

Maybe he went out to the field for a day. He felt that he was very tired after working all day and didnt want to talk. I have been nagging him about the whole day.

He suddenly burst out and said why he was forced to speak. He just wanted to be quiet.

I was so confused that I told him I couldnt see you. If you didnt say I didnt know you were in a bad mood.

He felt that if he had been together for so long, he had no tacit understanding.

Then he will start to silence, hide, at least one day will be fine, more I do not know how long it will be.

Because every time I cant bear it long, I will take the initiative to talk to him.

The first time, it was cold for almost three or four days. I couldnt help it. I called and said, OK, OK, no, no, what do you want? I was prepared for the worst.

Finally, he called me back and made up.

This time, he raised this issue again. He also listed several points that he thought I could not accept. He said that he asked me to find someone better than him.

I dont know what to do this time, because its the second time that Ive mentioned it. I wont mention it easily in the past.

This time, if I take the initiative to talk to him again, I feel that he will not actively deal with all the big and small issues in the future, and I will take the initiative to talk about them.

However, he is still reluctant to give up, feeling his hope of change.

There is also a more realistic problem is that his mother is not very satisfied with me, but fortunately, he is not bad to me at ordinary times, and his mother is a very strong person.

Once or twice there were some conflicts, and my boyfriend would not handle them at all. His mother also thought that I had problems with my practice and felt that what she said was right.

I will feel that if I really marry in the future, there will be no one who can help me, which also makes me increasingly frustrated.

My brothers reply:

First of all, obviously your boyfriend is not good at communication, but also a more acute person.

However, as long as you both have the heart and the heart to run in, I dont think its a big or difficult thing.

Most men like to chat clean and not nonsense, and most girls often can talk about a small matter out of the world.

So, because of his sudden outburst, you can feel the grievance and sadness, which is understandable and normal.

He also lacks emotional intelligence, communication skills and tolerance with his lover. Its hard to say that he is a little bit self-centered.

After all, its not a big deal. It can be expressed through communication. Theres no need to break out and blame you. You dont have a tacit understanding with him.

Transposition thinking, you are such a personality person, on the contrary, he did not get your heart.

But if you want to get along well in a relationship, you have to examine yourself.

Is it that when you are talking about your own affairs, his tone is actually quite tired, and you always talk to yourself that you excessively regard him as a garbage can for emotional venting?

One thing is that after the quarrel, he disappears from the cold war game. I personally dislike this practice,

Because no communication only escapes, the contradiction will never disappear. Even after a few days of reconciliation, the contradiction will still be hidden in a corner of my heart.

When there is no place to accommodate one day, the feelings will be broken.

But in the end, what you have in this matter is whether it is big or small.

As long as you are willing to make appropriate concessions and make a deep inner reconciliation, if you have a heart, everything will be done.

The last question is between you and his mother. Yesterday, there was an answer, which I also said.

If a boyfriend is indiscriminate, his brain will just stand on his mothers side,

Mom, some words and deeds that obviously bully you, he doesnt come out to rescue you. That kind of man is definitely not worth nostalgia.

But your situation is a little different, you said his mother is not particularly satisfied with you, but usually not bad to you, I believe his mother is relatively reasonable.

Therefore, I will not insist that his mother must be wrong or right.

After all, you only expressed his mothers feeling that there was something wrong with your practice. It depends on what is going on and how you do it.

Finally, I suggest that the most important thing to solve now is the way of communication with your boyfriend.

Only when your feelings get back on track and truly understand each other, tolerate and understand each other,