But he is a fixed type of thinking. He only pays attention to the things in his field of work. He always complains and thinks that I am doing useless work.
I want to discuss values and common goals with him, and he said that I am empty head and brain, and dont pay attention to firewood, rice, oil and salt.
2. Repeated temperament, more negative energy.
First, I dont like cooking. Generally, he does it. He says Im lazy while doing it (in fact, I just want him to do more. Its said that if a man does more housework, his marriage will be more stable).
Sometimes there is no complaint. Sometimes, after finishing the meal and washing the dishes, he readily accepts my praise; sometimes he tells me that I am so lazy that he will not marry me, which makes me wonder whether he can accept the fact that I am lazy. I also want to know why he complains so often.
Second, he just gave me a recommendation the official account the day before, and gave me a red envelope to encourage me. Then I began to say that I would not do anything and make a mess of it the other day. Every day I measure the possibility of marrying him, from 30% before to 50% later.
I have seen his negative energy decrease, but I hope that he can be more active, take the initiative to learn and think. If he doesnt change this part, I think even if I get married, I may cheat.
Does Leng Da think his thinking can be changed? Is it necessary for me to run in with him like this again?
Cold love reply:
Today, we have selected two stories, which have one thing in common: the female owners of the stories have certain plans for the future, and they all want to go out of their own life plots according to their own ideas.
This is a particularly good thing, better than those who have not yet noticed it.
However, the protagonists of these two stories also have another thing in common, which may be because they have a good time writing their own scripts. At the same time, they neglect that we are not alone on the stage of life, we are also performing with others.
This is a mistake and blind spot that people who are good at writing their own scripts often make. They cant see that others are also participating in their own life story.
Lets start with the first story:
The woman thinks that she is a growth type of thinking, and her boyfriend is a fixed mind.
I dont think its particularly appropriate to evaluate others in this way.
I dont believe that a boy who can take the position of director in a company has an annual income of 500000 yuan. I dont believe that he is a person with limited thinking.
You cant say that you love sports, meditation, online business school learning, official account, and you are a growth type person. People are not grown people.
What you should see and learn is how people get to the position of director in the workplace?
Why are you still an ordinary employee of the company?
In the workplace, apart from the age difference, what are the different factors between an ordinary employee and a director?
This is where youre going to study.
If you are a real growth type person, you should learn to learn from others.
Write your own official account, idle away in seeking pleasure, learning, all of which are creating value for yourself, not for creating value for relationships.
When he goes to cook and you two eat together, he is creating value for your relationship.
He did some housework for the relationship.
And, compared with other life stories, youll find that with your income structure, men do less housework.
Whats more, where did you hear the saying that if a man does more housework, his marriage will be more stable? I dont know, but I dont agree.
In my opinion, the stability of a marriage depends on both sides expectations of life.
But from your chat records, I cant see that your expectations are balanced.
The boy has specifically said I will not get married if you are so lazy now, which means that at least you have not met his expectations.
Third, dont try to change others, change yourself more.
We have been emphasizing that we should not learn something from other places and take it to life.
Why does he think you are literate?
Looking at the chat record, it is because you turn your inner monologue into a chat, so it seems particularly ungrounded.
You want to discuss with him: before starting a relationship, you should evaluate whether there are goals in life, common values, and similar risk preferences?
This paragraph is very cold love, which is no problem, this is very good.
But, this is not what you should say to each other, this is what I say to you.
You should regard these words as a mental method and a life strategy, instead of sending them to others and educating them everywhere.
This sentence, to become a real earth gas what is the oil and salt?
Its about understanding each other.
For example, when he says, you never take care of me, you cant do anything, I work overtime until 10 oclock, I go back to cook until 11 oclock, and I have to make breakfast in the morning, you give him a look of two hands spread out.
Is that understanding?
If you reply to him with the mental method just mentioned, what should you say?
Therefore, for what I said, if you only know the concept I said, but dont chew it at all, let alone put it into action, it will be a kind of devastation for both of you.
As a whole, after reading this story, especially the chat record, we are really worried about this woman.
At present, this man is still good. If you really dont want it, you can let him go. I believe many girls will want it.