Its ridiculous to think that the ex will come back if he meets the ex. as long as he meets the ex, all problems can be solved easily!
So, in the process of recovery, why not rush to see your predecessor?
The earlier we meet, the more shortcomings we expose
According to Melanie biann, a professor of psychology at the University of California, 55% of peoples impression depends on their external image, 38% comes from body language, and only 7% is determined by what you say.
How did your impression in the eyes of your predecessor form? Through your words, actions, expressions, etc.
After the breakup, if you dont meet your ex, the way you convey your impression and communication is limited to wechat, the online tools. That is to say, it is limited to the text content on wechat.
Even if you make a bad impression on your ex, thats about 7% of the overall impression. Therefore, its good for impression management not to rush to see your predecessor.
However, if you dont rush to see your predecessor, you will silently change and improve yourself. Occasionally, wechat will deliver your changes. The former pays attention to you with a dubious attitude, which can make the former feel mysterious.
When you, change and promote in place, and then meet with the former, not to see already, see amazing! He will look at you in a flash and even fall in love with you.
Highly emotional, resulting in ineffective communication
After the break-up, the heart is unwilling to understand why the other side will break up with me, I love him so much, why he wants to break up with me, I feel very shameless and psychologically unacceptable.
So I want to meet each other very much. I have to understand!
You dont think he should do this. You think he has no conscience. You feel that you have been insulted and betrayed. You dont want to meet him to express your feelings, but to express your anger and unwillingness.
And the more you dont want to meet your ex, the more you want to meet him. Its a process against humanity. After breaking up, the man is most afraid of entanglement, the last want to see you. It doesnt add fuel to the fire to see him in such a hurry!
So, after breaking up, dont worry about meeting, think clearly, what is meeting for, is meeting useful?
No change, meeting is meaningless!
If, in wechat chat, none of the predecessors would like to chat with you, answer or spit at you, then meeting will not work.
Without change and promotion, meeting is meaningless. The purpose of the meeting is to show your changes in an all-round way, which is very risky. If your changes are not in place or are not the same as those on wechat, it will reduce the formers trust in you again. It will not only not help to recover, but also make your relationship worse. Its not good to ask the former out next time.
If you have realized your problems in the relationship, and have done a good job in improving your internal work, reshaped your mental model from the inside out, made enough changes, had stronger psychological resilience and internal security, and could calmly face all kinds of challenges in the relationship. Its probably the best time to get back together.
Your ex is really different from before. He will be very happy to see you. In addition, the man in the period of emotional calm will miss his ex very much. At this time, its natural for him to recover.
Therefore, to sum up, in the process of recovery, only when we do a good job of personal mental construction and emotional management in advance, and on the basis of in-depth self reflection and self-growth, can we meet our predecessors with good results and practical significance.