Why do some people fall in love with each other more easily, but once they are together for a while, they dont feel it?
How to evaluate the feeling in love for a relationship?
Its probably related to the disillusionment of the ideal self. When you find that the other person is no longer the ideal self, the pleasant feeling will gradually fade away.
For example, in love, we cant use morality to determine whether its good or bad, or use reason to control how it should be. In short, the feeling of love is hard to control, but it can be experienced and enjoyed. Whether you find a mate by feeling or gradually have feeling after pairing, feeling this thing is an unreliable internal mental fragment, which is different from the reality you need to live. But the existence of the feeling of love, and our infatuation with it, will certainly affect the quality of a close relationship. For example, a woman finds a man who is older than her teenage years. When she is in love, she is very satisfied with the feeling of being held in the palm of her hand. She says that she is very lucky to find the person who loves her the most in the world. But after she gets married, she doesnt have this feeling. Then she begins to question each others love and start a war of mutual distrust. Then she starts to look for the share outside the marriage, so that she will never forget her loveu201c Hold it in the palm of your hand. Such an example, like the pathological narcissism mentioned earlier, is the inevitable relationship conflict of people with character defects.
Why do some people like to express their love in a cruel way and seem to like to see each other suffer for themselves?
Why are we attracted by the tortuous love story?
These questions make me ask another question: is it easy to get along with each other or easy to get along with each other? Do people like to watch comedy story or tragedy story? What impresses people is happy thing or painful thing? These are not based on accurate statistics, but we believe that most people tend to the latter. And many of the questions themselves, the answer lies in them. For example, why do some people not hesitate to win the love of others in the way of self injury, we have already told that it is to gain the love. We also know that the meaning behind the win: only the wounded and the weak are the matching roles to arouse the sympathy and love of others.
In my opinion, masochism is an alternative culture presented with the development of the times. We should distinguish the masochism related to personality. The former is a kind of social phenomenon, the latter is an individual psychological abnormality, a kind of psychological response willing to be attacked and self attack. In addition to the obvious masochistic tendencies related to personality, such as sexual masochism, being beaten, being tortured, scratching on the body, overeating, etc., there are also hidden masochistic tendencies that are often ignored by us, such as the good people, victims, rescuers, workaholics, etc., which seem to be admirable, but they do so at the expense of themselves or to hurt their real needs Cost, and they are so unconscious, and proud to sacrifice themselves. The motivation of explicit masochists is very simple, that is, to obtain spiritual stimulation and pleasure. The masochistic motivation of the masochists is deep, and there are many: low self-esteem, so they often think for others, pay to make themselves feel strong; high anxiety of insecurity, so they often tolerate dissatisfaction with others to avoid being attacked; eager to identify, so they often sacrifice themselves, please others behavior mode. In a word, the psychology of masochism is complex.
The difference between true love and morbid deep love lies in that true love is a borderline love for the real person, morbid deep love is a symbiotic state of baby and an ideal self of the object. The second difference is that true love is about giving love that doesnt ask for return, while pathological deep love is asking for the return of each others love.