u00b7Why cant apologies be honest about their real motives for hurting friends? Ms. a said that she apologized to her friends for her guilt and did what she should, but she was still in such pain. One of the reasons is that she didnt explain the real intention of doing wrong. We cant say that the sincerity of her apology is not enough, but that she didnt explain the real motive of mistake - jealousy and jealousy. Ms. As apology of I did wrong, Im sorry where you ask for your forgiveness is not enough to make the other party forgive. The reason is simple: the reason for the mistake is not enough. This kind of apology still doesnt understand for the injured, what did I do, you want to hurt me? Its not clear why on earth do you want to hurt me. A person suffering from inexplicable grievances can only grasp the direction of unloading the unknown anger when he knows where the slander comes from and why it is clear. In the same way, when a person is slandered by a friend, only when the friend confesses to him the real motive of the slander can the other party consider whether to forgive the friend. And this critical step, Ms. a did not do. But she thought she had done it, but she didnt know how superficial it was; she only knew that her heart needed forgiveness was urgent, her attitude was sincere, and she didnt know that her thick face prevented her from revealing the truth of inferiority and jealousy; she didnt know that she only said things, didnt say the reason of things, and only knew the reason, but didnt know why. This kind of apology, the other side is unable to understand the apologist. There is no forgiveness without understanding. Therefore, Ms. A should first understand that it is meaningless for you to communicate with each other without understanding. Next you need to think about why you cant tell the other person the truth? If you want your partner to really forgive you, its when you can reveal yourself in front of your friends.
u00b7Is it understandable that friends are not forgiven now? Can you understand and accept your discomfort? Another reason why Ms. A is suffering from guilt is that her friends dont forgive her. It seems that the way to get rid of guilt is doomed to be forgiven by the other party. But she neglected that it is inevitable for her friend not to forgive at present, and it is futile to rush for forgiveness. The more eager you are to forgive, the better you will be, the more you will fall into the narrow fantasy of no choice but to get rid of your guilt. So, Ms. a, your current task should be to consider: what do you mean by your friends unforgiveness? How to accept a friends unforgiveness? In the same way, how to look at yourself: Based on your personality, you have done something against your conscience. What should you do? No guilt, okay? Can you allow yourself to feel bad first and then cheer up, cry first and then be brave? The premise of these understandings lies in ones awareness of oneself: are you a tolerant person? Can you forgive yourself for your mistakes, and can you forgive your friends for not forgiving you? To be rescued from guilt, we must first ask ourselves, first, to bear the other partys unforgiveness and guilt; second, to accept the other partys unforgiveness and to accept our own discomfort.
In fact, all people with high self-esteem will feel ashamed, ashamed, even desperate and lose self-esteem once they find that their behavior deviates from their values. Guilt control itself is a kind of self-punishment. If the parties cant make atonement for themselves with various self punishments and long-term confession, they need to accept psychological analysis to achieve rational self-knowledge and self tolerance. Like Ms. a, people who are under the control of evil spirits, the way to save themselves, in addition to the above points, should fundamentally improve their own personality characteristics of pathological self-esteem, that is, repair the damaged self-esteem. It is necessary to expand many ways to gain self-esteem, such as participating in social activities, volunteering, and doing things of interest. When people are truly confident and at ease, they are no longer dependent on other peoples vision, no longer need other peoples evaluation, but only need to negotiate with their own hearts. But this must be a self-evaluation with internal stability, a source of maintaining self-esteem, that is, a permanent and valuable life goal of their own.