Nearly three years have passed since his father, James Jordan, was murdered, and the wounds left by his bereaved relatives could never have healed so quickly.
Everyone familiar with Jordans story knows that old Jordan is his most revered man. From the documentary the last dance, we can also feel Jordans memory and love when he mentioned his father. Many people have analyzed that most of the personality factors that make Jordan so successful come from the genes and cultivation of his parents.
But these narratives are at most one-sided praises of heroic legends. In reality, Jordans original family, just like tens of thousands of families, is full of difficult scriptures. The fathers love that he pursued all his life and finally achieved is a kind of chaotic and dramatic emotion, which makes him happy, confused and even painful.
Old Jordan did make the legend of flying man to some extent, but on the way to success, each of them lost too much.
Jordan and his father
Like most teenagers, James Jordan loved cars, baseball and flirting from an early age. He is very smart. He can drive and repair tractors at the age of 10. Its also reasonable for him to become a technician in the future.
Jordan and his parents
Jordan was born in Brooklyn. When he was five months old, his parents took his children back to his hometown of North Carolina. James found a job in general electric equipment maintenance, with a stable source of income.
The three sons in the family naturally follow their fathers example. The eldest son, James Ronald Jordan (nickname Ronnie), had two jobs in high school at the same time, which made old Jordan very satisfied.
When Jordan was not a basketball genius, his father was contemptuous of him. When he refused to work in high school, he was forced to work as a hotel cleaner for three days and two days. This made old Jordan very dissatisfied and despised him and called him the laziest child.
Larry, the second son, was once the favorite of his parents. Jordan also talked about his grievances when he was a child in an interview:
Jordan and his family
As a child, Jordan was very naughty and often beaten. In order to control the children, the family implemented the eight oclock curfew. But in fact, his strong desire for performance is to win the love and attention of his parents. But in those days, repressive education was more common.
Thats how old Jordan grew up. His fathers scorn and derogation made him leave home at a young age and enter the air force. But in fact, Jordans grandfather is very proud of him, but never willing to show such feelings in person.
Jordan said that the most profound words his father branded on his mind were stay in the house with women. Because my father usually helps people repair cars to earn extra money. He wants to help, but he doesnt use a big wrench. My father dislikes him and scolds him like that.
This sexist statement, for the first time, damaged young Jordans self-esteem and haunted him for years. Many competitors marveled at Jordans competitive spirit and motivation in the game, which was closely related to the contempt from his parents and the competition between his brothers when he was young.
His eldest sister dolos (nickname Heath) also said: many years later, when he entered the NBA to play, he admitted that his former fathers attitude towards him, saying that his useless appearance is the driving force for him to move forward. He believes that every achievement of his own is a refutation of his fathers negative evaluation.
Jordan and his family
Jordan can rely on his efforts and success on the court to change his fathers evaluation, but from the perspective of children, he cant solve the crisis of family fragmentation.
From the 1970s until the death of old Jordan, his marriage to Dolores was in a state of precarious decline.
When Jordan was in junior high school, his parents had a very bad relationship. They often fought in front of their children, and their children would go out for help. They beat almost every day, heath said that once the mother was knocked out and the children worried about her death, but the next day she came out of the bedroom as usual as if nothing had happened. Heath believes that Ronnie joined the army just two days after graduating from high school because he couldnt stand such a repressive family atmosphere.
Old Jordan has a high income and is the financial pillar of the family. Dolores has worked while taking care of children. The couple also opened a nightclub, but they didnt mention it in an interview later.
The biggest crisis occurred in 1975, when heath was arguing with his mother and revealed that he had been sexually assaulted by old Jordan for many years. If Im such a slut, why dont you mind your husband and let him leave my bed? heath told her at the time
Dolores was shocked and asked heath to explain. Heath told her that she had been sexually assaulted by her own father for eight years. Heath was a primary school student at that time. Heath describes these details in her autobiography, how old Jordan taught her to kiss like an adult, and her subsequent confusion and fear.
After the three calmed down, Dolores told heath that the three of them could no longer live together, that she had better go to the girls dormitory, and that she had misunderstood her fathers actions.
Its not a secret in the Jordan family. Heath told a cousin when he was 12, but no one in the family dared to challenge old Jordan. Old Jordan has too much status and authority.
Heath was not sent away at last, and the family just turned it around. In 1977, heath married before leaving the family, but she has been plagued by depression, on the one hand, to receive psychological treatment, on the other hand, to seek legal aid, but because time has passed too long, basically no results. By the beginning of the 21st century, these things were exposed by the media, but it was impossible to investigate and collect evidence.
Elder sister Jordan
Jordans mothers behavior may seem incomprehensible to some women now, but from the attitude of her autobiography, Dolores is such a person. She does everything to protect the family, which is the survival instinct of people in that era. She doesnt have the ability to earn money, cant support five children, and has no place to go back. She can only support.
Jordan didnt know the dark side when he was a kid. What he saw was more of his fathers greatness: every coach he met as a student basically praised old Jordan. He would like to attend every game of the children. Both husband and wife are quiet and self disciplined at the scene and never give directions to the coaching team.
To outsiders, a always present parent - especially a father - is very rare.
Moreover, old Jordan is really trying his best to provide the best material conditions and educational opportunities for his children. When the three youngest children in the family first went to primary school, each received a pony as a gift. Both Larry and Michael had their own motorcycles when they reached puberty. Whatever sports they want to play, they can get their parents support and company.
Jordans later attitude towards politics was obviously closely related to the cultivation of his parents. Its all from my parents education, he said. There have been so many tragedies in the past, but we should look ahead. Its really easy to hate for a lifetime, but people should always focus on the present and try to make the future better.
The baby boomers, born after the war, always seem to find it hard to get the warmth of their families. Their parents are relatively backward both in life and education, and each family has many children. Happy childhood can be said to be a luxury.
Famous movie star Tom Hanks is seven years older than Jordan. His parents divorced when he was four years old. He lives with his father, who has no fixed place since childhood, while his father keeps getting married and divorced. This experience made him become a very insecure person, and formed the habit of collecting typewriters.
But like Jordan, he chose to reconcile with his native family. He said it was never easy to be a parent. Later, I want to understand that the only thing parents can do is to tell their children that I love you. There is nothing wrong with you. You cant hurt me, and I hope you can forgive me occasionally. I will do my best for your safety. Provide these things to your children and love them.
Later, it was his basketball career that kept Jordans family intact.
But the media soon involved old Jordan, because Jordan went to Atlantic City to gamble, James was a companion, and later took the initiative to back the pot, saying that he advised his son to gamble and relax, and was questioned by a large number of media whether such a father was reliable or unqualified, of course Jordan was very angry.
In the summer of 1993, old Jordan disappeared and died, becoming the last straw to crush the camel, leaving Jordan exhausted physically and mentally to retire directly. Later, he chose to play baseball because old Jordan liked baseball and loved playing with his sons. It seems to be the most traditional form of paternity in the United States - father and son throwing balls in the backyard. So that became the root of Jordans baseball complex.
When Jordan came back from the bulls, he started wearing No. 45 (the number of Larry, the second brother), but soon changed to No. 23. He explained that it was the number his father last saw him pass.
In fact, when Jordans career took off, he enjoyed his fathers company, but he also had a headache for his father.
This does not prevent Jordans reverence for his father, even if many realities break his heart. He once told his elder sister heath that the worst result of his success was to completely destroy the relationship between his parents.
After her father died, Jordan alienated her mother and even restricted her to use her name in various activities.
In the end, Michael was the closest child to old Jordan. For Michael, it should give him some peace of mind.
Life is a long practice, no exception to the God of basketball, who is worth more than 2 billion dollars.
This year, at Bryants memorial service, Jordan recalled a conversation he had with Bryant not long ago. Kobe asked how he practiced basketball when he was 12 at 2 a.m. to learn from his daughter, Gianna. Jordan told him, I was busy practicing baseball when I was 12. And Kobes response was, laugh and pee.
Jordan was angry and smiling, then shed more tears. At the age of 12, he wanted to be the best son that his father could be proud of; later, he wanted to be the best brother of Kobe Bryant; and Kobe told him how to be a good father that his children could be proud of. Time and space and identity are so intertwined.
Jordan was in tears at Kobes memorial service
Some scholars have said that if we do not find a solution to the fear, guilt and anger of parents, people will transfer these emotions to their spouses and children. Jordan had a failed marriage, and his complex feelings for his father were often transferred to the game by him.
After so many years of his fathers death, Jordan himself had passed the age of knowing his destiny. He said to the world, I cant wait to go home and be a good father for my daughter, which made countless people cry.
Love should not be a torment. True love brings warmth, joy and inner peace. May all fathers and children in the world be nourished by love and love.