Psychoanalysis believes that all kinds of addiction are based on the pursuit of happiness, pleasure, excitement, stimulation and happiness in human nature of self-protection and self love, or the pursuit of overcoming separation anxiety and loneliness fear in self-protection and self love.
Human beings are social animals. Separation anxiety is the first experience of human beings. Loneliness is the first fear of human beings. From the way that primitive people seek to escape the fear of separation, we can see that they can choose various kinds of group revelry, such as wearing masks, worshiping animal totem, worshiping animal gods and other ritual activities. After the ecstatic experience, they get a quiet life for a period of time without suffering too much from the pain caused by separation. But with the passage of time and the boredom of monotonous life, the tension of anxiety gradually increases until the same ritual is repeated to eliminate it.
Later, there was a way to escape loneliness in non carnival culture. People can choose from fishing, chess and cards, poetry, invention and creation, or addiction to drugs, alcohol, gambling, promiscuity and so on. If the latter is chosen, they can make people quickly achieve ecstasy and forget loneliness and anxiety. When the ecstasy experience subsides, the sense of separation and loneliness arises spontaneously, so they have to seek ecstasy frequently and urgently until they become addicted. However, these harmful addictions are more likely to form than beneficial ones. It is not that they contain more stimulation, but that they achieve the rapid completion of excitatory stimulation. Therefore, addiction is not only an instinctive pursuit of pleasant stimulation, but also an instinctive response to escape loneliness and fear.
The dependence complex or addiction tendency of human being is used to deal with the realistic anxiety and neurotic anxiety in the existence of life. But each persons personality characteristics are different, and the tolerance threshold of anxiety is different, so is his release and treatment of anxiety. A good way of release is reasonable, flexible and can promote the development of human mind. The negative way to deal with anxiety is divorced from reality, such as through unconscious suppression, transfer, degradation and other self-defense, to achieve a false inner balance, which is often uncontrolled, excessive or addictive.
But addiction is the easiest way to relieve anxiety. A cigarette, a glass of wine, a pill, a piece of clothing, a one night stand, etc. can all be substitutes for seeking happiness and avoiding anxiety. Once such benefits are experienced, those substitutes quickly become the objects of infatuation, and addiction is inevitable. The harmful addiction makes people forget not only the complexity of life, but also the meaning and goal of life load.
The inner monologue of addicts is: addiction is the rapid completion of happiness and satisfaction. I can easily get the passion experience of life without painstaking or long suffering. It can be understood that its no wonder that addiction makes people so easy to get on and so difficult to get off.
Although addiction is characterized by excessive dependence and psychological attachment disorder, different dependent substances reflect different motives and complex. For example, drug addicts have hedonism and masochism complex; gambling addicts have power desire and conquest complex; online game addicts have the need to pursue excellence and success and deep dependence complex. The appearance of Internet addiction is childrens pursuit of freshness, stimulation, and satisfaction of their curiosity and creativity. In essence, it is to escape the inner emptiness and loneliness and meet their dependence needs.
The phenomenon of Internet addiction, people see that children do not want to be aggressive, will be depressed, can not see that childrens autonomy, creative potential, and their aggressive repression. The children who are addicted to Internet can be excellent people, but for the time being, they can only be regarded as excellent people in the virtual world. They rely too much on online games, indicating that they have excessive energy to release, but in a negative and quick way, they are expressing their confusion of achieving their dreams, playing the fantasy of virtual hero and controller, avoiding the trouble or defeat of reality.
Worryingly, Internet addiction has stopped them from seeking new pursuits. Because the symbolic meaning of addiction is fixation, that is, refusing to renew. You will see that Internet addiction has given children a kind of ecstasy, ecstasy, and has become the driving force for children to repeat and strengthen online games. This will inevitably lead to childrens alienation from reality and no longer pursue new things.
uff082uff09 Why are Internet addicts mostly teenagers with superior families? Why are more intelligent and depressed boys?
Behind the Internet addiction, the power to keep the condition of childrens addiction is not only the psychological content of childrens subconscious - dependence complex, but also the psychological content of parents subconscious - dependence complex, which is the unconscious motivation for parents to become accomplices. Why?
When you leave your mothers body and become a human being, you are anxious about the experience of separation. Psychologist Fromm said that this experience is the total source of all anxiety. Separation means isolation, loneliness and weakness, and dependence on emotion becomes the earliest complex (or emotional need). When children develop their own sense of separation and dominance, the mothers body can no longer meet their needs. At this time, it is necessary to seek other ways of separation. Whether a child can realize the separation road to promote his healthy growth depends on the attachment mode of parents and children, as well as the parenting style of parents.
The so-called separation road to promote childrens growth refers to the cultivation of childrens independence, independence and creativity. It refers to that in the early stage of a child, he can fully give him independent space and time, contact children of the same age, accept various games, experience competition, conflict, frustration, and independently complete things and tasks.
But these are often seen in Chinese families with many children, or in foreign families. In China, the only child family is the opposite. Too many only child families are pyramid relationships: 4-6 adults, holding the moon around a child. The children are always taken care of with me as the center, and the brain always inculcates the endless concept of cant lose on the starting line. Todays kindergartens and primary schools are mostly female and paternalistic teachers. Children still have to be instructed in traditional education: only when you are a good child, behave yourself and get good grades, you will be lovely, or you will not be liked. This kind of education mode can be called doting. The experience of children is: to be protected, to be restricted, to feel weak and small, as long as they are obedient, they can get a lot of satisfaction without any effort. But what is lacking is exactly what is most important in the personality structure: initiative, creativity, and sensitivity to the needs of others.
So as the original dependence complex of human being, the spoiled child is not and can not transfer and release this situation reasonably through a new way (separation way) to promote his independent growth, but through the excessive giving of parents and other related figures, has always maintained the satisfaction of the dependence complex. If the pattern of doting remains the same, childrens dependence complex will become a morbid complex in the form of fixation. In boys, the nature of control desire and attack desire will be suppressed, and show some neutral or feminine characteristics of personality.
According to the survey of many youth activity camps, compared with foreign children, the statistical scores of Chinese childrens psychological quality of patience, perseverance, cooperation and creative thinking are far lower than those of foreign children, while the scores of dependence, jealousy and depression are far higher than those of foreign children. These differences directly show the lack of autonomy and the seriousness of dependence complex of Chinese children.
Therefore, the dependence of online games is an inevitable phenomenon for many children to be spoiled. Especially for the only child boys, because of their male consciousness, such as expansion, the natural inhibition of desire for control, in the process of growing up, the conflicts formed by the enhancement of these instinctive needs are likely to lead him to seek different ways to solve. If a boy doesnt get the satisfaction of independence and achievement in reality, he will build an object that can meet his emotional needs according to his own ideal. Even if he doesnt rely on online games, he will take other ways to rely on an object or thing, such as fanatically admiring a star or singer, or indulging in bars or gangsters. These objects are enough to become the surrogate of childrens self ideal, and then fall into a life state of contradiction between ideal self and real self.
Internet addiction is also an inevitable result of disharmony in many families or backward education. The helplessness of parents in the face of Internet addicted children is the portrayal of their education. Facing their childrens desire to cry, they have no tears, which implies the sadness of their familys imbalance. But parents may not realize that they also have their own dependence complex, which virtually becomes the accomplice of childrens Internet addiction. What do you mean? There is a little meaning of grow melon, grow beans, and get beans. Because, if the motivation of Internet addiction is childrens inner dependence complex, then this complex must be related to parents complex.
When parents are still children, they must be severely demanded and demanded by their parents. The key is only to ask, not to allow. The upbringing of parents from the upper generation is almost all in the ideological field of how, how, how and how not to be. The sermons of every generation are so highly consistent. It is undeniable that if you are influenced by the culture of demand must from childhood, your heart will stick to right and wrong, rely on standard answers, and your character will tend to introspection, conservatism, avoidance and other characteristics.
It is a characteristic of Oriental culture to rely on authority and parents power. Therefore, in a family that stresses right and wrong, there is no dispute or conflict, and it is forbidden to commit the following crimes. When our parents are children, they live in the world that others (especially parents) need. Only relying on authority can we overcome the fear of being denied and abandoned. There is no way to talk about self-awareness and independent growth.
If a person cant realize himself, cant use his ability creatively, and cant realize the inner harmony and integrity, he will be upset, depressed or crazy, will be driven to escape from loneliness and helplessness, to bars, Internet bars and other places where he can escape.
In the end, the phenomenon of Internet Addiction of teenagers deserves our family education to be vigilant. Unfortunately, there are various kinds of childrens training courses in the society, which are endless, parents also push their children to them at any cost, that is, the lack of adult education. Whats more, people dont want to admit that their parents need to learn more than their children. But if parents want to, they can try to learn something, such as learning to know themselves, learning to love, which personal characteristics or complex of their own are negative and helpful? Parents love their children very much, but why do the more they love, the more they let their children escape from their families? This is certainly not the fault of the outside Internet bar, but the result of parents irrational sex. Mature love for children means that being a mother can gently and consistently give her children spiritual love and help her learn the ability to care for others; being a father can firmly help her separate from her mother, help her identify the causes of sad emotions and learn to deal with conflict events independently, so as to improve her ability to resist risks.