Xiong Ling: jealousy comes from the incomplete attachment in childhood

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 Xiong Ling: jealousy comes from the incomplete attachment in childhood


Early attachment defects, not only make a person to bury resentment and jealousy, but also because of the resentment and hostility, antagonism. Because the security attachment defect is a kind of love defect, and the children growing up in the love defect not only breed the sick demand of love, but also breed the defense and attack behaviors such as hostility and confrontation. In his later life, it is difficult to feel the existence of love, but he also strongly needs to courtship, and even develops into a neurotic tendency of getting safety and avoiding anxiety. This kind of neurosis tends to harm others or oneself by demanding oneself from the inside, others from the outside, self accusation and self hatred, jealousy and hostility, or by aggressive language and aggressive behavior. All of these are reflected in his family relationship, husband and wife relationship, friend relationship, colleague relationship and other real interpersonal relationships without exception.

The task of psychoanalysis therapy is to analyze the complex behind the jealousy reaction and his whole character structure, and to reveal and deal with the inner conflicts of the helpers. We should not only make the client aware of the origin of his inner conflicts, but also help him understand how these conflicts play a specific role, that is, let the client produce the effect of original, how, so on his psychological problems. Original means to make the client gradually realize that all his jealousy reactions, such as self hatred, depression, hostility, and discomfort in communication, originate from his feeling of hurt in early attachment relationship; how means to help the client understand how these suppressed emotions and inner conflicts play a specific role. It makes him understand that his ambition of always wanting to be outstanding drives him to build a strong ideal self-image, but because envy makes it impossible for him to have an open mind to study and explore, which is doomed to make him fail to achieve the goal of outstanding and never achieve his ideal self; so means that the caller can finally see that his jealousy reaction is his past The result of attachment defect and negative self-concept. It can also help the helpers to explore the troubles of interpersonal relationship through the theory of attachment reconstruction. In the treatment relationship, the analyst can represent the guardian, and the client is the guardian in the attachment relationship. Thus, the analysts safe and reliable position can activate the attachment system. Whether in the counseling relationship or outside of this relationship, the helpers can further understand and understand their own aspects objectively from this safe and reliable place, so that the helpers with adult consciousness can experience the parenting behavior of their parents in the past and re understand the interpersonal relationship model they should establish now.