In these reconstructed consciousness systems, the most important and fundamental thing is probably that you have to re recognize the significance of a marriage or relationship for your happiness in life, how to establish a connection between them, and you have to re construct such a connection.
If there is no emotional betrayal, many peoples life focus is actually marriage and family. Of course, it has something to do with ones values. Those who are more traditional always attach great importance to marriage and family, and their feelings, because this is their internal demand for themselves and the foundation of their happiness.
In the long marriage mode, such a construction will interact, that is to say, the more you know the marriage feelings, the more the relationship will increase its weight in your heart, so the impact on your life happiness is actually increasing - things have developed here, there is no mistake, if the relationship can continue like this Go, if you meet someone who has a sense of responsibility and gratitude, you will be a very happy person in your life.
However, if there is a fundamental change in the situation, the betrayal of the person who formed the marriage and family with you will hurt you. The previous long-term construction will aggravate the damage to you. Because, in this case, betrayal not only hurts your feelings and heart, but also hurts your long-term business relationship and all your good ideas for the future.
They will mistakenly think that as long as the other party turns around, as long as they forgive and are relieved, everything seems to be back on track.
Not at all.
The biggest loss in the heart of a person who has experienced betrayal is actually a sense of security.
In the past, when the marriage was happy, or when there was no betrayal, the sense of security was solid. Now, the sense of security is gone. Then you will find that once the sense of security is lost, even if the other party turns around and makes a difference, you still dont get the sense of security again - why?
Because there is a voice in your heart that often reminds you that your TA can betray you; you can never guarantee that this person will never betray you again.
Therefore, a thorough solution to the sense of security can not be achieved by relying on the other partys turning back. Whats more, there are not many people who can turn back steadfastly after betraying their feelings
So what should we do at this time?
This goes back to the topic. You have to learn to reconstruct.
In the past, your marriage and emotion happiness = life happiness; now, your construction must be:? =Happy marriage. This one? In fact, its the homework that I left for myself. Its what Im looking for.
There are many sources of happiness in life, such as work and career, friends and interpersonal relationships, even if its just hobbies and so on. You can see that some people can focus on cooking delicious food. When they focus on this, they must be happy.
Therefore, after experiencing emotional betrayal, you should learn to transfer, to reconstruct your own source of happiness, or safety support point. If you dont work hard to this angle, and dont complete such transfer, then, in fact, no matter how the other party treats you, you will never be truly happy in your life.
After betrayal, I am just alerting myself. I cant expect a marriage relationship to support my whole lifes happiness. Because a very important hidden truth will be seen at this time. Marriage relationship is decided by two people, so no matter how hard you try, only 50% can decide. The other 50% is controlled by the other party Once the other party betrays, your happiness is collapsing and destructive.
If you can see this layer, then you have learned a lot about the subject that marriage and feelings are the happiness of life. If you use your own efforts to build the source of your happiness on things that can be completely controlled by yourself, you will reap happiness again slowly, and your sense of security and steadiness will come back slowly.
Until then, you will see the positive and meaningful side of what you have experienced, because without such experiences, you will not be able to acquire new knowledge or have the opportunity to reshape yourself - a more independent and self reliant self.