Whats the difference between falling in love and falling in love with a person?
Choose to believe in love, or do not believe in love, how will it affect a person?
I used to like the psychologist Sullivans definition of love: when another persons safety and satisfaction become as important as their own, love exists.. Now I think that love is not easy to define. If we must give a definition, I think love is a feeling of collision of passion, but also a kind of attachment emotion produced in the process of mutual love. Therefore, the definition of love is very important. Love is an ability. More specifically, love is a kind of competence to help oneself and others. With this ability, you can harvest and enjoy love.
Falling in love is a wonderful feeling of falling in love; falling in love with a person means being willing to pay for the happiness of this person. I personally believe in love, that is, the existence of love as Sullivan said. Also believe that Fromm said that love is to give, care, responsibility, respect and understanding of the existence of love. I believe it because I have experienced such love and marriage. I also believe that there is no lack of such love in life, as well as marriage with love.
However, whether it is experience of love that leads to choose to believe in love, or choose to believe in love that leads to love, is there an inevitable logical relationship? I dont know. But one thing Id like to be sure of is that choosing to believe in love or not has different effects on a person. There may be many reasons why he doesnt believe in choosing not to believe. The most basic reason for guessing is that he has experienced emotional injury. But I think its stupid to decide the reality based on the past experience. Undoubtedly, its to confine himself and not accept new possibilities. Choosing to believe in love is another attitude of life, which embodies a kind of trust. The inner feelings are joyful and confident. This state itself is a kind of pleasing and likeable one. At the very least, theres a good chance that youll get what you believe. Because people believe in the unwritten truth that opportunities are reserved for those who are prepared.
5. Soul coffee:
What are the characteristics of people who are easily hurt in love?
How can these traits be formed?
What are the characteristics of people who are easy to hurt others intentionally or unintentionally in love?
How can these traits be formed?
What can I do if I am such a person?
People who are easy to feel hurt in love are usually those with inferiority complex or low level of narcissism, that is to say, pathological narcissism in psychology, usually people who are too self-centered or narrow-minded. They have one thing in common, that is, the existence of self-worth must be based on the acceptance and identification of others, and they pay special attention to the views of others. In the intimate relationship, they are almost forced to pursue the needs of being concerned and loved. But this, the person concerned is unconscious also wont admit. For example, we often see a victimized role in emotional drama (also common in life), which is very good at making and appealing emotional grievances. After their relationship is stable, they will question whether you ignore me, dont love me, and empathize with others for some normal flat, separated phenomenon? Then he began to show a super keen sense of smell for each others whereabouts, and then tried his best to ponder over each others words and deeds, search for information and evidence, and then scolded and attacked each other with extreme grievance and justice: why do you want to do this, why do you want to hurt me... As a result, it is often the continuous tension, conflict or separation of the relationship, leaving a scar in his heart that will make him remember clearly in the future.
Many people, with the scars of the past, step into the next relationship and start a new round of doubt and conflict.
In love and marriage, those who gradually become like a resentful woman (abusive man) are narcissistic rage after feeling hurt by others. Vulnerable people often use childrens love, because their psychological level is in the symbiotic stage of duality. Once the other party fails to cooperate and meet their own needs, they will feel that they are not good enough and loved. The neurotic phenomenon of these reactions in marriage and love is a person with character defects. If we look into the root causes, most of them come from the critical period of character formation - childhood did not get enough safe emotional care.
People who are prone to hurt others intentionally or unintentionally in love are often paranoid or impulsive personality disorders. They lack certain tolerance and tolerance, and even lack emotional control ability. Like a child, when their own needs are frustrated, they must find others to play roughshod and throw gas.
Sometimes, victimization and victimization may be in a person, just as there are characteristics of abuse in the victim. Two different characteristics will appear in a circle in a person. At first, he may be abused to gain sympathy or love. Gradually, his accumulated resentment will make him easy to provoke, attack, or control others to gain absolute obedience to himself.
No matter vulnerable or harmful, it shows that a persons inner frailty or personality defect is not conducive to the establishment and maintenance of close relationship. If you ask what to do, or the previous sentence, take love as a required course in life, learn to mirror in relationships, and look at yourself: why am I hurt, what am I looking for in love, and am I capable of meeting my own needs and those of others? One has to learn to reflect before one can be strong.
I always love to say that if you are confident enough, no one can hurt you.