For many people, the biggest headache is their emotional problems.
For example, its too impulsive.
It has been said that:
I always cant control my emotions, say some very hurtful words, and then I dare not admit my mistakes because of my face, even if Ive said Im sorry for tens of thousands of times in my heart.
Therefore, people who cant control their emotions not only hurt others, but also suffer a lot from their own heart.
So how to deal with this problem?
To solve the problem, it is necessary to understand the problem first.
First, we need to find out what causes our emotions to get out of control.
First of all, it may be closely related to ones personality.
For example, Han Xin was bullied and humiliated by others, and let him climb through his crotch. He was not angry and could endure it.
These are all related to peoples character, not that they want to do so, but that their genes determine that they are really easy to do so.
Secondly, your emotions may be related to some specific experiences in your life.
According to psychological research, excessive emotional response is related to specific experience.
When something happens, if the negative emotions aroused at that time are not resolved in time, it is easy to form a knot after accumulation.
The result is that when we encounter similar things in later life, our heart knot is triggered, leading to out of control emotions.
John Pollard, the author of the awakening of inner parents, believes that everyone has an inner child in his heart. When you are furious and enraged because of someone elses unintentional words, an expression or an action, it is likely that the other party touches your inner child, arousing the painful experiences and emotions in our childhood or growing up.
At this time, you need to remind yourself that your negative emotions and pain may have nothing to do with the person in front of you. What really makes you miserable is the unresolved knot in the past. It is the sensitive and vulnerable inner child.
After understanding the above, we can adjust ourselves like this when we encounter emotional impulse:
Any emotion, including happiness, anger, sorrow and joy, is a part of us, and also an important way for us to feel and experience life. No one can keep the emotion stable except for the vegetable people.
Second, take negative emotions as a window to understand yourself.
The out of control and outburst of emotions indicate that some of our psychological needs have been excessively suppressed or ignored. You need to explore your heart deeply through the window of emotion, and constantly reconcile with the shadow of your heart.
In particular, you can remind yourself that you have grown up and are no longer a vulnerable child who lacks the ability to deal with external injuries. You can solve the immediate problems in a more mature way.
In this way, you can get rid of the inner childs bondage and solve the old problems with new methods.
The so-called growth is realized in such a small way.