Should boys make money, buy houses and support their families? Who said that?

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 Should boys make money, buy houses and support their families? Who said that?


Girls dont need to buy a house. They can make their own pocket money.

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Is it really so easy for girls?

And is this lightness really what women want?

In the eyes of many boys, the life of girls is very easy: some people take money and energy to hold in love, some people are busy preparing the garage when they get married, and focus on home after having children. As for work, just make do with it.

So a lot of boys said that they must be girls in the next life.

In their eyes, boys, or themselves in real life, are often like this: when they are in love, they have to make a commitment to each other with a real house, and meet all kinds of unreasonable requirements of each other, or they wont want to be with you (a boys language); after marriage, they need to support the operation of the whole family, car loan, house loan, childrens school and so on All need men to solve (the same boy language).

Its really hard to be a boy

Photo source: giphy

But is that really what girls want?

Usually, I would also discuss with my female friends the possibilities of life and love, as well as my own ideals and expectations for these possibilities. Here are some consensus from an all girl wechat group, which may be different from the boys imagination of easy female life:

love

If you can meet people who make you feel touched, if you are lucky enough and still able to be together, you will be grateful for life and each other, and treat each other equally and respectfully. Because, first of all, Ta is an independent person, and then his partner. When people get along with each other, they should at least follow the values of equality and mutual respect. All sorts of unreasonable demands? Does not exist. This is a waste of time and energy. Why do people have to live with themselves?

Photo source: giphy

marry

Marriage can be, but its not a necessity. If you really meet the person who makes you want to marry, you can get married. But if its just because of public opinion, family pressure, age or other reasons, Im sorry, such a marriage cant be married. Every day, I go to bed, eat, study and grow up seriously in order to complete this standard procedure without considering my personal needs? impossible!

buy a house

A house is not a necessity. There are many ways of life. Now that we have come to this world, we should explore it well, instead of hollowing out our brains and crowding one single wooden bridge after another with others until we get to the cemetery. Of course, if you buy a house, you will try to get AA with the other party; if you dont have AAs financial ability, please write your name only, and if you get married, it will be disposed of as premarital property. Its people, not houses, who live with you. And please believe that with more people in the world exploring other roads and more people traveling and resting, the house will return to its original value: the place where human beings live.

Women are not necessarily related to having children. In fact, in all forms of human society, there are women who do not want to have children and / or do not like them. The life without children is incomplete, which is the most contrary to female intuition, but also the most deceptive and intimidating male discipline. Those women who do not want to have children are afraid of the huge punishment behind not having children, so they have to accept the childbearing activities against their own will.

Many women need to face childbearing when they are not ready

Photo source: giphy

Since the first feminist movement, women have been encouraged to express their true feelings and say no to the norms against their will. When more people express their true feelings, we will build our own knowledge and value system from mutual assurance. At that time, childbearing was no longer a social norm, but a life style of voluntary choice.

In fact, there are girls who hold this view everywhere, but unfortunately, there are too few channels of expression and they are not understood by most people.

Back to the subjective feelings of the boys at the beginning of the article, they saw the lightness of being a girl and the responsibility and pressure of being a boy physically, but most of them would choose to admit their life because they think that life is like this.

However, they seldom realize that the pressure and responsibility they think come from the inevitable structural inequality under the patriarchal system. This structural inequality suppresses both men and women in different ways.

Under the social structure based on male chauvinism, women are deprived of the ability to pursue economic resources equally with men. The good of women seen by these men, such as womens maternity leave and shortened working hours during lactation, in fact contributed to womens further deprivation: the society has more reason to require them to pay energy in raising children, and employers have more reason to quietly push them out at the beginning of recruitment.

Therefore, women are forced to fall into such a strange circle: their equal opportunity to pursue their career is first sexually deprived, their value of being forced to take care of their children and do housework is erased, and the society in turn accuses them of relying on men economically.

The value of womens domestic work is often overlooked

In fact, men are not much better, and they dont have much choice. The most basic things that people should have, such as houses, have become things that many people need to work hard for themselves and their families; those things that are injected into human nature, such as love, have become things that many people dare not expect without material conditions. Because they are considered to make money to support their families, they can only make money, get married, and support their families. If they cant do any link, they will be considered not qualified.

Can men take care of their families and children and women go out to work? Can we marry without considering the house? Can we choose not to marry on the basis of deliberation?

The more men complain about their lifes hardships, the less they will think about it. They often think that male owners outside female owners inside is the difference of social division of labor, there is no problem; if you marry and dont want a house, you cant let your wife and children rent with you, right How can a man not marry, not have children?

They are trapped in the system and norms, but they do not reflect on them. Instead, they use desperately overtime and desperate courtship to weave the cage more carefully and completely.

Can we make a difference?

It is easy for people to expect social change, but they forget that as an individual of society, their own change is social change, no matter how small it is.

The premise of change is to dare to ask your own heart, dare to pursue the life your heart wants - if you really dont want to live according to the standard procedure set by society for everyone.

To break free, we have to rely on ourselves

Photo source: giphy

And please note that the more people choose painful adaptation, the average amount of pain per chooser will increase again, because the competition is bigger and crueler. But if more people choose to change themselves and open up different ways of life, all kinds of changes will give energy to each other.