In this world, there is no one who cant live without the truth. All the so-called inseparable things are the traps set by oneself.
Before you met this person, you had lived for many years, and you had a very good life. Why cant you leave him after many years?
Therefore, the so-called inseparable, in fact, is not a real problem, but a psychological problem, we can call it thinking limitations, can also call it a hint trap.
The main reason is that this person, or this relationship, has been deeply integrated into your life. If you want to give up, it is equivalent to carrying out a revolution in your current life. The result of this revolution is unpredictable. When you imagine the future, you are pessimistic. The uncertain future itself will make people panic. The preset result is Pessimism, of course, is inseparable from each other. This is the dilemma you set for yourself.
Therefore, to solve the problem, we should start from the concept and psychology. At this time, the perspective of thinking about the problem needs to be adjusted and changed.
If you leave, as a failure, or even as a kind of being abandoned, is a passive helpless, of course, it is difficult for you to let go. However, if you regard leaving as a kind of self salvation, a choice to end the present pain and regain the happiness of life, then you are full of longing for the future life after leaving, which is to see the light and hope. At this time, your mentality is certainly different, and your behavior is no longer reluctant to part, but become more determined to cut two earlier Broken.
No one wants to live a miserable life, but no one can escape some unexpected pain in his life. In the face of pain, how to get rid of it and how to solve it are ultimately determined by his own thinking and action. Those who are in great pain in marriage do not know how to end and give up, which is the way to happiness. However, they lack courage, They dare not face the uncertain future, so they prefer to choose the pain they are already suffering.
Happiness doesnt come from the sky. All happiness comes from hard work, especially after suffering.
Emotion is a kind of investment, an investment in life. No ones attitude towards emotion is charity without return. Therefore, when the feelings or marriage are painful, there are not many people who can understand the stop loss and break up bravely. In fact, more people are not willing to end up with nothing and no result after so many years of investment and effort. Therefore, they will give themselves fantasy, fantasy that one day, they will be able to turn around, and all the current bearing will be able to exchange a corresponding result.
However, feelings are not so, when feelings have been unhappy, the result of the delay is often more serious loss, not only to spend their great years, but also to seriously damage their physical and mental health.
In the face of the pain of feelings and marriage, those who can really let go are basically regarded as having nothing to start over again. If the mind cant adjust to this state, its basically difficult to let go - then, when the problem comes, accept having nothing to start over again as having nothing to do with, its actually their own self-confidence, not chicken soup, not Ah Q spirit, but personal strength And capabilities.
Therefore, people who can let go must be confident in themselves, and also people with certain strength and ability.
Third, to put it down, we need to take responsibility.
The reason why many people cant do without it is that subconsciously they are afraid of the responsibility they need to take to leave, for their own responsibility, for the responsibility around them involved in letting go - the most common is the problem of divorce facing children.
Because of their choice, affect the future of children, so dare not bear this responsibility, of course, chain reaction, dare not make the decision to let go.
Love and marriage are personal affairs. Everyone will make corresponding choices based on their own reality - its reasonable not to divorce because of children, otherwise so many people in real life will not be trapped in this problem. However, if you are really for your children, there are probably two perspectives that need to be reconstructed:
1. Is this marriage and family correct in three aspects? If the three aspects are not correct and children grow up in such an environment, are they responsible for their children? In some marriages, one side has betrayed openly, or both sides have regarded as enemies, and still choose not to leave. In this case, if it is for children, it is probably hard for them to believe, and children will not think that such choice is for their own good.
2. Really for the sake of children, bear the pain, dont complain, and then let yourself lead a positive life. Because parents are the best role models for their children. The way to set an example has nothing to do with divorce. It has something to do with whether they are positive and have positive energy. In other words, if you divorce but you have positive energy, you are really responsible for your children. If you dont divorce and you live in a mess, you cant live in a good way. How can you say that its for your children.