Social interaction is the interaction between people. It needs to have all the social skills related to social elements, such as eyes, body movements, facial expressions, language, non-language, common concern, emotional sharing, etc.
For example, Xi Xi and his father play the game of hand in hand, flush the bean bag. We run towards the bean bag hand in hand. In the process of running, Dad can jump up and down. At the end of the race, Dad pretends to trip over the stone, lies on the Bean Bag Chair funny, and then Dad and Xi laugh face to face.
In this game, although playing a sensory game that Xi Xi likes, he prefers his fathers exaggerated running and funny performance. The focus of the game is his father. Social interaction focuses on his fathers facial expressions and body movements, as well as face-to-face eye contact and emotional sharing.
If the game is simply to let the child experience the sensory stimulation in running, or just to make the child happy (crazy play), although it is also a game, but the social interaction generated by this game is very weak. In that happy time, the child is more passive experience, so we should get out of the stage of pure crazy play as soon as possible.
Some parents say that I play with my child every day, give him playful toys, and play playful games with him. Why is my child still not interested in me? Because maybe for a child, you are just a foil, or a tool that can bring him happiness. What he likes is all kinds of toys and sensory stimulation, but not you.
Therefore, in the process of playing with children, parents should pay more attention to adults and generate a lot of social interaction, so as to repair the core problems that they are not interested in people and improve the childrens social inadequacy.
How to attract attention to people, and how to generate a lot of social interaction? I will explain it to you through specific games:
The game of eating Xi Xi
Dad is facing Xi Xi. Dad says I want to eat ears. He gently pinches Xi Xis ears to pretend to eat into his mouth. The performance is delicious. Dad says I want to eat nose. He gently pinches Xi Xis nose to pretend to eat into his mouth and frowns. Repeat the game to make heathy understand the process.
Crazy play method:
u2460 Use the technique of stop and wait to attract Xi Xis eyes
Repeat the happy game above. One time, dad said, I want to eat... Lengthen the voice (interrupt) and wait for Xi Xi for 3 seconds. Xi Xi will wonder why his father didnt continue to say it, and his eyes will come. The eyes are the social communication that he wants Xi Xi to learn, so his father immediately continues to say foot Ya Ya, pinching his feet to pretend to eat, or directly putting his feet to his mouth, and then the performance stinks.
-When the happy game experience is interrupted, if the child wants to continue to experience happiness, his eyes will look over.
-The waiting time should not be too long or too short. It is easy to interrupt the game for too long, which will lead to childrens distraction. Too short a reaction time to give the child a look. So three seconds is the best time to wait.
-If the child doesnt see it for 3 seconds, dont interrupt the game for this reason. Please continue the happy game and try the next interruption.
The interruption will also make Xi Xi Xi have expectations. Dad can also turn his eyes around Xi Xi Xi, sometimes chuckle, sometimes frown. Xi Xi Xi will guess what Dad is eating this time, what funny expression will dad have, and more attention will be attracted to him.
u2461 Combination of language and non language
In the game, the language used by the parents should match the childrens ability. If it is beyond the childrens ability to accept, it is difficult for the children to grasp the key points and learn to imitate. If the child cant speak, the simpler the language the parent uses, the better; if the child can speak a word, the parent can also speak a word; the child can say a short sentence, the parent can also say a short sentence. Parents are advised to use repetitive sentences, such as eat Eat Eat , I want to eat I want to eat I want to eat... , using repetitive language to deepen the childs impression.
u2462 Change the game and have unexpected fun
u2463 End game
When the childs attention drops obviously, its time to end the game and prepare to start another game. For example, Xi Xi doesnt laugh very much, his attention starts to be distracted, or he wants to leave the sofa. His father attracts Xi Xi Xi to look at his father and shake his head and say no more playing. Then Dad prepares for the next game.
The social interaction in this game includes eyes, facial expressions, language, non-verbal, and common concern (dad eats what he sees, and Xi Xi follows his dads vision). Cognition includes naming all parts of the body, washing things when they are dirty, and eating nothing. Understanding includes I want to eat, not delicious, wash, nodding, shaking his head, etc. We can design games according to childrens ability.
I suggest that in the interaction with children, parents should establish games focusing on people, try to play more sensory games or games with simple rules and less toys.
Some parents will ask, toys cant play? No, toys can be played, but you should keep the key parts in your own hands. You can put a part secretly somewhere. When a child asks you for it, you show it to him (or look at him). He looks past and finds it. This is common concern. You can also stick the parts on your face. When he takes them away, you make exaggerated expressions to attract him to look at you. You can also deliberately give him a wrong, and then teach him to shake his head and say no. You can also take a part in each hand and let him choose which one you want. These are all social interactions. However, all of these should be based on the parents enough practical experience and good parent-child relationship, because the children clearly play well by themselves, and the parents just want to take away the parts, which will cause the childrens dissatisfaction and rejection, easily cause the children and you to compete for the parts, cause more problems, and destroy the originally envisaged game teaching of the parents.
What kind of toys can we play with? We can choose the kind of toys that are very interesting and children cant operate by themselves. If they want to play, they have to communicate with us. I think this kind of toy is more suitable for props, such as air pump, rainbow umbrella, dragon ball, bean bag chair, etc. For example:
Props air pump (children cant operate alone, its better to step on air with their feet), color balloon (spherical, long strip, various colors, various sizes)
I used a lot of game skills in this game. Ill explain it to you.
At the beginning, I didnt send orders to call heathy to play the game, but I was playing alone. My playing method should be full of passion, set off a happy atmosphere, and improve Heathers attention to see if he will be attracted. If he doesnt pay attention to the game several times, proving that he is not interested in the game, then change to another game prop. If he stops what he is doing, his eyes come to him, or someone comes to him, it proves that the game has aroused his interest, and active communication is half successful.
u2461 Using interrupt and wait technique to induce Hickey to initiate active communication
After a few rounds, I didnt start the game (interrupt), waiting for Hickey to initiate communication to continue the game. Special attention should be paid here. When a childs initial ability is insufficient, his communication signal may be very hidden, which may be voice, language, action, or just eyes, Martian Language or emotion. Parents must pay attention to childrens communication signals and respond in time, which can let children know that every communication signal is effective. In addition, some parents have caught the communication signals sent by the children, but further require more signals (such as eyes, language, etc.) from the children, and fail to respond to the demands of the children in time, which is likely to eliminate the enthusiasm of the childrens communication, which is not desirable. We can say start or play when a child expresses a communication signal and at the same time satisfy the childs request.
When Heather is used to using active communication to let me start the game, I try to let Heather add more active communication signals, such as eyes. As a result, I extended the response interval and used the following methods to attract Heather to look at me. When the child looked at me, he immediately began to play.
-Face to face with your child, always keep your vision at the same height as your childs.
-Keep a proper distance, too close distance will give the child a sense of oppression, eyes will avoid
-Send out reminders to pay attention to your strange sounds, such as exhaling sound, clearing your voice, etc., but dont give orders to look at Dad or look at eyes.
-Put the childs hand near the adults eyes.
u2463 Use the technique of stop and wait to attract Xi Xis eyes
During the game, I said balloon blowing, balloon blowing, balloon blowing, balloon balloon... Stop (accentuate the last balloon pronunciation, remind Heather), wait for Heathers eyes to come over, then I continue to exaggerate and say blow!. I said, 1 2u2026u2026u201d Stop, wait for Heather to look in the eyes, and then exaggerate to say 3! Fly.
u2464 More social interaction
-Choice: I take the red balloon in my left hand, the blue balloon in my right hand, and ask hichi which one?? Heather sent out a communication signal and chose the red one. I nodded and voiced red and started the game.
-Cooperation: when I say together or help, I will help Xi Xi Xi and me to cheer together (the main contribution is me, Xi Xi Xi just has a look).
-Listen to the instructions: when I know what kind of balloons Xi Xi likes, I will take all the balloons I dont use and leave only a few of them. The balloon flew away. I didnt have a balloon in my hand. I issued an order to take and indicated which one to take with my finger. I assisted heathy to take the balloon back.
Balloons can also fly in different directions, such as towards the sofa, towards the window, or sometimes to my mothers side, to scare my mother, can continue to enhance the fun of the game.
At the beginning, dont show all the playing methods. With the decrease of childrens interest, add new playing methods and extend the playing time.
u2466 End game
The social interaction in this game includes active communication, eyes, non-verbal, instruction, etc. Cognition includes balloon, number, shape (big, small, round, long, etc.), furniture (sofa, window, etc.), color (red, green, etc.). Understanding includes flying, taking, receiving, nodding, shaking head, ending, etc. We can design games according to childrens ability.
Excellent teachers, they play games with their children, the main goal is social interaction, and cognitive understanding, language, etc. are taught in the game. But ordinary teachers, they may also play games, but they ignore the core of social interaction, only teaching cognitive understanding and language. Im very glad that Xi Xi met many excellent game teachers on the way of more than four years intervention, not only to give Xi Xi a wonderful social game class, but also to give me a great inspiration (the name of the organization is inconvenient to send out, if there are parents in Shenzhen who want to know about it, they can consult me privately).
I hope that parents can learn more theoretical knowledge, observe more childrens interest points and social skills that they lack, practice more with their children, understand more about where Im not good enough, where the game can be improved, and make yourself as good as the teacher, so that you can design social games that meet the current ability of your children according to the characteristics of your children. Parents are the best teachers for children.
How to use childrens rigid and narrow interests to design games, how to train their emotions in games, how to add advanced social elements (such as complaints, deception, etc.), how to turn life into a game, and how to make mistakes easily in playing games, etc.