However, anger is a double-edged sword. When encountering anger, it is good for the body to generate Qi. If you often get angry, or suppress anger, it is equivalent to a chronic poison, which will consume body cells. Those psychosomatic diseases (insomnia, depression, diabetes, breast hyperplasia, cirrhosis, etc.) are chronic Qi.
There is no world without anger, but the risk of anger makes people imagine a world without anger. So people from ancient times to modern times have the same way of Cultivation: bear the word as the head, rational worship, religious belief, infatuation with work, philanthropic sublimation and so on, in order to realize the personal myth of being calm and calm as water. But every day when we wake up, we still have to face the complicated world, road jams, high mortgage, difficult employment, difficult medical treatment, weird things, unreasonable people.... Can you rest in your heart?
So, its not (how can I) not angry, its angry. Learning to be angry should be a lesson in life.
Since anger is inevitable, we have to find an effective way out:
Change your attitude toward anger. If you ever feel angry and cant control it, then regret and blame yourself.... So from now on, we should take a new look at anger: anger is human nature. To allow yourself to be angry is also to allow yourself to have a temper. If anger is aimed at people, after being angry, you are allowed to apologize or not to apologize, but not to blame or regret yourself.
Projective anti identification. Peoples sociality determines that the generation of any emotion is not only related to others, but also to themselves. Most of the anger comes from the unconscious projective identification of both sides, except that others intentionally hurt people and come to peoples anger. That is to say, if one party demands the other party according to his own will (but thinks the other party has the same intention), the other party either accepts the request out of identifying with the person, or passively identifies with the request in fear of offending the person. Whats more: one side cant hear the other sides words, or cant stand the other sides work and get angry, or complain. On the surface, the other party cant speak or do anything, but in fact, the one party demands perfect characteristics (the concept of the other is not consistent with himself) to make himself angry. When this anger is spread to the innocent other party, and the other party unconsciously takes over, naturally it is either angry or sulky. So, to let emotions have an outlet, you have to learn to identify the source of emotions. If the judgment is the projection of the other, you can choose to reject the identification, that is, refuse to accept the move.
Kant, the philosopher, said: anger is punishing oneself with the fault of others. Freedom is not to do what you want, but to do what you dont want. But in fact, we cant do freedom only by angry. However, when you are angry, take Kants famous saying to chew, it can dispel your anger, dont believe you to try?
Improve fault tolerance. Angry people, small psychological capacity, commonly known as narrow-minded. Such a person is very like a hedgehog. He has a strong personality and is sensitive to bad words (easy to feel hurt by self-esteem, easy to be jealous). His inner feelings are inferiority and fear of being denied. So they often like to listen to good words, hate criticism, but criticize others, hate others against themselves... Such frailty makes it difficult to tolerate differences. So the fundamental way to learn how to be angry is to repair ones character, improve ones tolerance of frustration and fault of oneself or others.
To live a natural life, one must find a home for ones heart. That family does not rely on the support of the outside world, only on their own clear life goals and practical ability. Only such a home can continuously give you the power of life and give you the true mind of not being happy with the good things but sad with yourself.
Do you like to be angry? Its OK. Please learn to be angry.