Secondly, find out what success factors are in a happy marriage, and then study and practice.
Unfortunately, most marriages have common factors, so do happy marriages
1. Frame: the whole frame of marriage is wrong, which is the first problem of all unfortunate marriages.
Lets think about this scenario first:
At this time, you cant help but start thinking: give him 100 or 200? But you forget, in fact, you dont need to give me money.
For example, a woman I know confessed with a boy I like, and then they got married and had children.
She asked, am I asking too much for marriage, or is my husband giving too little? At first glance, many people will be brought into the ditch.
When most people look down, they begin to think: this woman doesnt really ask for much, his husband is really not considerate
Please note that when you think like this, you have been taken to the ditch.
Its like you think about whether to give me one hundred or two hundred.
The real situation is that its possible that the womans marriage demands are not too much, but her husband also gives her a lot.
Therefore, we should always be alert to whether our framework for a thing is wrong at the beginning.
The more the story looks, the angrier it gets. This lady is really humble in this marriage!
This is worthy of our reflection: is the part of the story about the pattern of two people missed by us?
For example, its her sending messages to express her love to others, and she wants to pursue each other.
3u3001 Keep your mind flexible.
This is an important point. Compared with womens thinking mode of who loves more, this man goes a step further. At least he admits that love is different.
But this man provides a more flexible framework: maybe both of us are right, but our understanding of love is different, what I give is not what you want.
In fact, the contrast between the two reflects the problems in many peoples marriages: in many bad marriages, both husband and wife are inflexible.
4u3001 The pursuit of happiness is part of all happy marriages.
In the conversation between the couple, the man put forward a profound proposition about sadness and happiness: if you really cant feel happiness, is it worth putting the rest of your life together?? One should not live a sad life. Everyone has the right to pursue happiness.
Whats more, the implication of this sentence is that if you feel that life cant go on, we can end, you can live by yourself.
He doesnt want to continue to pester, or dare not to mention it. If he mentions it, he may face more fierce attack from the lady. Thats why he expresses this way. He only dares to say that he wants to pursue happiness, and also wants to pursue happiness.
The pursuit of happiness is actually part of all happy marriages.
The lady in the story is less than 1 year old. Her father died. Her mother is busy with her and her sisters tuition and seldom accompanies her, so she feels that she lacks love.
In other words, the background of this ladys life is bitter.
So every description of her makes people feel: This is a very poor person, who has a miserable life. This feeling will make others very depressed, want to escape and dare not stay in her life.
Its just the bitterness of life. If you become Sister Xianglin, its even worse.
Just like this lady, she likes to turn over the old accounts and constantly turn over each others mistakes, from falling in love to getting married, and now she has a child.
In this kind of blame, her husbands life is really not easy, this kind of painful cage, everyone wants to escape.
Where is the road to a happy marriage?
Like the lady we just said, her husband certainly has many mistakes, but this should not be the whole of their life.
The lady didnt realize that her husband didnt want to get tangled up with her on right and wrong anymore.
In their chat, she said her happiness index was one to ten, she gave two or three points, her husband said he gave eight points, why? Because her husband doesnt want to tangle with her for this matter, and doesnt care whether its two or eight.
In this case, her husbands attitude is: if you want to live, if you are so bitter, then you will leave, if you dont want to leave, you will live a good life now, and both of them will go to eight points.
This lady feels that she has been in such pain since she made an active confession. She can also choose to let go and leave her husband to pursue her happiness.
I often say that the most frightening thing in life is not to rely on the top and the bottom, neither to rebuild the happy marriage now, to look at all things again, nor to go out and choose a new life.
When she was less than one year old, her father died, her mother seldom accompanied her, and she lacked love, which was the origin of all this.
Like this lady, she has written a lot of her own efforts and life experiences. In her subconscious mind, she feels that the world owes her, but now, she needs to complete her life lesson again.
If she really wants to feel happiness, she should find ways to learn, grow and feel.
Dont fall into the water like a man without oxygen, because he drowns and lacks oxygen, so no matter which straw he catches, he will put all his hopes on that straw.
If we know that we lack love, we should try to learn love in relationships.
All the partners who suffer in marriage should know that their learning and growth are the most important.
From today on, dont blame the person around you, but experience a better life together.