I am 18 years old. I am a very ordinary senior high school student. I was diagnosed as acute lymphocytic leukemia just after I took the college entrance examination for 19 years.
At that time, I didnt know it was leukemia, but I had a hunch in my heart.
In the evening, my relatives came to see me when they got the news.
Everyone told me not to be afraid, to be strong. My aunt cried so much that I couldnt help crying. At that time, I felt that I might be dying, and I felt very sad.
Its transferred to the ward. Lets go into the laminar bed. It looks very advanced and makes a noise all the time.
Then I made the bone wear again. I was very thin. When I was admitted to the hospital, I weighed 165 pounds. I was only 86 Jin tall. I was shocked. I was never so light at ordinary times. The bone wearing doctor said that it was difficult for me to pull out the bone. The bone was slippery and could not be pulled out.
After that, I lay in bed, thinking about it, and cried for a long time.
Then PICC tube was implanted.
Sick food is very good. The happiest thing every day is to eat. Once you eat, you will be in a good mood. Its a pity I cant eat too much, it will go up.
Flowers from everyone.
Forget which day, Dad came in and talked to me, saying that I had acute lymphocytic leukemia. I said I know. I already know. Dad said while holding back tears.
I was easy to cry, and I started to cry again. Its really hopeless. Its three times of a hundred thousand. Why should it be me?
Lu Lu continued to come to see me from many classmates, friends and people in the society. I was very moved. There were so many people behind me who helped me and missed me. For the first time, I thought I was so popular, ha ha.
Lost the first bag of platelets in life, yellow is very lovely. I was thinking that I would be better if I lost it!
After every day is very regular, did not sleep in the morning to wake up naturally, wake me up is the voice of sister nurse let me draw blood.
It seems that there is no discomfort in the body, but I am still afraid. I am always afraid of the unknown.
Another classmate is coming. His family is Buddhist. I dont know much, but I know that everyone is very kind. I hope I can get better soon. Im very grateful.
My lovely senior high school students came. I was sleeping at that time. I didnt see them. When I woke up, I left two videos. One was for the whole class. Everyone wished me a speedy recovery. The other was a lovely girl, who also gave me sincere blessing.
After watching the video, Im really happy. I have to cheer for everyone.
There is also a letter, which constantly encourages me to actively treat and live a good life.
In the end, we donated several hundred yuan. Although it was not much, it was very thoughtful. I could feel the kindness.
Stepping on the high-speed railway to Xian, we can only transfer to a better hospital for treatment.
It was raining that day, but the smell in the air was very good, and there was no carsickness. It turned out that the outside world was so comfortable!
Its been successfully transferred to another hospital. I havent been out of this small room for many days. I lost a lot of hair. Its a bit painful, but it doesnt matter. The sister said that the hair will be black and beautiful in the future.
Im still taking blood and transfusion in hospital. I wish I could get better earlier. At present, there is no discomfort in the body, that is, the white blood cells are too low. Every day, I have to take two injections. It really hurts a lot. But Ive been used to it for a long time, and suddenly I find myself very severe. Come on! Let the pain go!
I lost another bag of red blood cells. Im not afraid this time, ha ha.
It has been 20 days since the diagnosis, and great changes have taken place in mentality, from despair, fear and uneasiness to acceptance and calm. I am a very unlucky person, but I am also very lucky. Everyone loves me very much and supports me behind me. What reason can I not be strong?
I dont know if I can get well, but I will cherish one day after I live. Dont be afraid, be brave. Now I want to eat my weight, its 94 Jin! The short-term goal is 100 Jin, it must be OK! It is said that it is normal for people to live, die and die of illness when they eat grains. I dont want to die. I need a disease to fight. Even if its a bad ending, it doesnt matter. After all, I fought.
Well written, no level. Hahaha, its really a back story to get cancer But I think this kind of experience can also sharpen people. During this period, I also saw a variety of different love. Its your love that makes me change my mind. For everyone, but also for myself, we must survive well!
Nothing special happened today. In the morning, I looked at the body values, platelet 107, white blood cell 5.21, red blood cell 2.74, neutrophil percentage 79.10%. Im very happy. The cells have risen. The professor said that Im recovering well. I can leave the hospital soon, and then Ill have the next round of chemotherapy again.
I really want to go home. I want to see my grandma, brother, aunt and they must miss me. There was a message that he was a depressed patient. Seeing my deeds encouraged him, it should be the happiest thing for me today.
This is my new doll. I named him kill. I hope he can kill all my cancer cells and unhappiness. Is it stupid?
I also copied some favorite sentences.
Today, I have been discharged from the hospital. Its hard to walk all the way. I threw up on the way home. Im sorry that I soiled my uncles car
Lying at home at the moment, I am in a good and complicated mood. I havent been home for a month. Sleeping at home a month ago will have sweet dreams, and tonight may be doomed to no sleep.
Last week, I wrote off and on, but I still have negative emotions. Im sorry.
Since this week, I have done lumbar puncture with a little intracranial hypotension reaction, and almost spent it in bed.
I have met a lot of netizens who have similar experiences with me, and their deeds have encouraged me. Including the sister nurse, cleaning aunt, uncle and aunt in the next bed when I leave the hospital, they all let me have a good rest and dont have a cold. Everyone is so gentle that people want to cry.
I found that I am more and more to be affected by everyone, my temper has been very bad, and this month, this disease, my edges and corners ground a lot, I should also be able to become a gentle person in the future.
All men die. Not today.
u2014u2014From the game of power
After leaving the hospital, I finally saw the sunshine. The feeling on my face was not true. Walking was a bit mechanical. But I was really happy. The hot smell of the sun made people think: Oh, I was in summer too!
Every night, I read the messages. One night, I read ten thousand messages, and tears never stopped. More than 10000 refuels come from more than 10000 different people. How can Hede, I am the luckiest one, surrounded by love. So, I am thinking, when I get well, I must pay for the society, and I must also contribute my own strength, so that more people can feel the love of the society.
Its a little provocative, ha ha.
I am worried about the problem of transplantation. I have no brothers or sisters, and I am half matched with my father. If I find it from the Chinese bone marrow database, I have a very small chance. I am even more afraid that I will regret to donate when I find it. I will have to try my luck then!
I suddenly found that I dont need to draw blood every day these days Hope to spend these days peacefully, and then go to fight the next chemotherapy! Well, good night, everyone.
Dont write too much. At last, I want to appeal to you. People with ideas can enter the Chinese bone marrow bank. I also got sick to understand how much, maybe your life is mediocre, but when you have the opportunity to save others, human nature is shining.
I dont know what to face. I cant fall asleep at night. The memo written by the second therapy is so sad that I cant read it and dont want to show it to you.
I went to the Department of psychology. Fortunately, I think too much about anxiety disorder. In fact, part of the optimism and bravery on the surface is disguised. Im just a little girl. Who is not afraid of illness? I really want to return to normal life. I begin to feel inferior. I feel different from you
I hope that all that is lost will come back in another way.
The Chinese bone marrow bank and I agree to the full donor! Originally, I didnt hold hope. I was about to cry when I heard this news this morning. It turned out that I was not always unlucky. Sometimes, the lucky lady would also stand on my side.
Before that, I had a dream that someone would donate to me. I was reading the dense data on the list. I didnt expect that the dream came true. Maybe its because everyones blessing to me moved to heaven.
Im very happy to go home after the three treatments. When Im bored, I play the game of cloud top. Im very grateful that there are so many people who love me and accompany me to take care of me.
This should be my most painful chemotherapy, oral ulcer. I sleep well every night but wake up with pain. I want to relieve pain by breathing with my mouth wide open. I feel very sad and desperate in the dark.
Its just like a little mermaids feet when she cant eat any more, but she has to bear the pain of stepping on the blade every step. Ive been thinking for a long time that if people dont feel pain, they wont be afraid to take blood and inject anything. It will be a lot easier, right?
Platelets dropped to 12, even lower than the initial onset. After 20 injections, the white blood cells were still 0.2. I became thin, very sad, to see Zhihu, the most right, the encouragement eyes of friends on Netease cloud will be very wet again, in everyone so love me at the same time, no matter how bitter I have to bear in silence. So even though its so painful, I still want to show you a strong and optimistic self!
What the donor uncle gave me
When I saw the words written by the donors uncle, I was really moved! They really love you, said the professor So, what is pain? One day it will be nirvana.
Its over today!
Hematopoietic stem cells are the jam color that looks good. The fairy is going to be reborn. Thank all those who have helped me and encouraged me.
I wish you all peace, health and success in 2020.
Its over three months, but Im still very weak and my platelets are not high. But Im still very happy. I feel very happy when I walk on the road and blow. Im very happy when I lie in a small rental room. Im also very happy when I drink the first sip of yogurt. Im more and more easily satisfied.
There is no discomfort in the body. Looking back at what I have experienced, I feel ethereal and illusory. At the same time, I feel that I am also a strong existence. Only hope that the future can be a little smooth, as soon as possible to live a normal life, do not have to draw blood every day, this is the most happy!
Its a long and endless battle to fight against Bai, but its still stable at present. Im satisfied.
Thank you! I can go home soon. Happy!
Author: Zhihu @ a box of evening breeze, see the authorized release.