Since childhood, she has been a child of other peoples family. She has always been in a good way, which is the pride of her parents. But only she knows that those achievements that can satisfy her parents are the result of her sacrificing all her entertainment time. She really has enough of these days.
On the eve of graduate school, her parents wanted her to continue her doctorate, but she wanted to work. Her parents couldnt get over her, so they arranged for her to work in an acquaintance company. My sister doesnt want to go. She wants to find a job by her own ability. Of course, she also wants to escape the control of her parents and live for herself.
Such days, let her suffering and pain, once had depression, all day hard to sleep.
My sisters situation reminds me of yingzi in little joy. She has a mother who hopes for Jackie Chan. Because she loves her mothers efforts, she works hard and even gives up her ideal.
However, she was unable to withstand the pressure, suffering from depression and anxiety, almost on the road to suicide.
She said that what she feared most was to let her mother down, but she really couldnt be the good child in her mothers heart. She was so tired and unhappy.
There are many sisters and yingzi in the world. They work hard, but not for themselves, just to not let the loved one down, just to be the not bad person in other peoples eyes.
But this kind of unwilling life will make people very tired, because no matter how hard you try, there will always be people in the world who think you cant. Its not that you really cant, but that everyone has a different vision of the world and a different definition of good.
I like chatting with older people very much, because they have experienced many things, passed through most of their lives, and then look back to know what is worth and what is not.
After meeting my sister, I chatted with a teacher I like very much. Speaking of this, she said with a smile, in fact, a persons life is very short and he always lives for others. Its really not worth it.
From the conversation with her, I learned some of the truth of life, shared it with my sister, and I hope to share it with you who are still confused.
We are not RMB. How can we make everyone like ourselves? This is the most profound sentence in my memory.
Yes, no one can really achieve the best, because the standard of good in the world is not unified, and the people you like may not like it, and the people you dislike may not dislike it.
When you really do this, you will live a little easier and your world will suddenly open up.
Secondly, the best way to make a loved one happy is not to obey, but to communicate.
I have met many younger sisters who are tired because they care too much about what others think of them and want to be recognized by others.
But do you know that the people who really love you and hope you are happy, most of the reasons why they cant understand you now are because they dont know what you want, and most of the reasons for this are because they dont have good communication.
My sister never dare to tell her family that she doesnt want to pretend to be a good kid. She doesnt have any hobbies except studying every day. In fact, she also wants to dress up like a girl of her age, go shopping and go to the playground.
But she didnt dare to tell her family such thoughts, because she was afraid that they would blame themselves, but her family told me that they also wanted her to go out, and didnt know that she had such expectations.
You see, in fact, they love each other very much, but without effective communication, they will use the method of loving each other wrongly.
Never trade obedience for a moments peace, learn to communicate with heart, and learn to make each other truly happy.
I found that people who are tired of living are people who will not refuse.
When a colleague asks you to help him work overtime, you dont know how to refuse, so you have to let go of your work, and then use the off-duty time to make up for it. A friend asks you to help her to pursue the boy she likes. You dont know how to refuse, so you have to suppress your inner love for the boy and silently watch them happy and sweet. Parents ask you to do jobs you dont like and marry people you dont love. You dont know how to refuse, so you have to compromise, comply and build your own life.
Maybe some people dont understand why they dont like it but dont say it? But I want to tell you that those who will not refuse are not those who do not want to refuse, but those who are afraid of other peoples disappointment rather suffer.
Sounds great, doesnt it? But in fact, they just because there is no self-confidence, no self-confidence refused after others will like themselves, no self-confidence does not care about others look at their eyes, they live in the heart of a restless child, eager to be loved and affirmed.
Its like fan shengmei in Ode to joy, Su Mingyu in all is well, and Fang Sijin in settling down. Everyone else thinks that they should cut off their family earlier, but they are too soft hearted and compromise again and again, which makes everyone hate iron but not steel.
In fact, they dont want to, just cant control themselves, always think that as long as they meet them more, they can fill the hole in their heart.
If you are such a person, then I hope you can gradually make yourself stronger, from the inside out, try to feel the beauty of the world, to love those who really love you, when you can one day face some peoples dont love and leave, you may be able to really reconcile with yourself.
I believe that one day, you will learn to reject those things that are unfair to you. By that time, that is the beginning of your true happiness.
I used to be a very tired person. I didnt have self-confidence. I was worried about the gain and loss. I paid special attention to other peoples opinions on myself. I never dared to do anything out of the ordinary.
But these years, I have experienced some things and seen some things, which makes me more and more understand that peoples life is actually very short, you always want to live for others, then you will never be happy.
From now on, learn to change yourself, I know its not easy, but you must slowly learn to let go, learn to refuse, the most important thing is to make yourself strong, I believe you can, we work together.
Im Xi Yan, a columnist, a young girl who is neither old-fashioned nor old-minded. She likes to write warm words and do sensitive programs. She has published the rest of your life is about me. If you have a story, please come to me.