Once a relationship evolves into a marriage, if the relationship is good, the marriage will grow old together, naturally happy; but if the relationship reaches the end, the fate has been exhausted, marriage does not mean that it will be separated.
Love is also a kind of flowing variable. People who once loved you dead or alive may hurt your heart one day. Of course, in the future, they may change their confidence and cherish you more. What the world can never judge is the final outcome of a relationship.
Just because the feelings cant be judged, before encountering a relationship injury, probably everyone thinks that the feelings are stable - no matter how the other party is, they all think so; after experiencing the emotional injury, probably many people will lose their sense of security and feel that the feelings are not solid - no matter how the other party is, they all think so.
So, you can understand why, after such a betrayal happens, its not that the other party has turned around, its over when the affair ends. In fact, the biggest damage of this affair is that it makes the marriage uneasy; it makes people who are betrayed fall into uncertainty, uncertainty and uncontrollable about their spouses, feelings and future.
After experiencing the hurt of feelings, it must be clear that no one can be responsible for their feelings, except for themselves.
Therefore, after a relationship is hurt, we must learn to treat the relationship and marriage separately, or even deal with them separately. The relationship is the relationship, and the marriage is the marriage. On the surface, the marriage can continue, but the inner relationship must have substantive adjustment and change.
Do you think its appropriate to do this? The happiest thing is not to analyze with the closest people - yes, many people just dont turn around. This is actually the work that must be done to get rid of emotional dependence. Only when you finish this work can your emotional independence be established.
You may say again, if so, will the relationship between husband and wife become colder and colder, the relationship will become worse and worse, and the gap will become deeper and deeper - yes, basically. However, if you can look at it from another angle, even if you share your happiness, anger, sorrow and happiness with each other, it doesnt really enhance your feelings, especially when you are hurt, isnt that what you did before, the result? Its not the same thing.
Therefore, to get rid of the emotional dependence is the primary task of ones own, and the result of marriage, under this premise, is secondary.
Under the same way of thinking, if you are in a bad mood, in pain and sorrow, and so on, dont try to find consolation from the other party, hoping that the other party can share it for you. One is that the other party may not care about your pain and unhappiness at all. If you care about you, its difficult to have behaviors that have hurt you. Second, every time when you are in a low mood, you are in a low mood When we look for each other, we miss the opportunity to be independent and strong again and again.
When one can be truly independent emotionally, the internal sense of security and stability can be firmly established and grasped in oneself.
At this time, you are free and calm emotionally, and you will not be controlled by the other party because of the emotional independence; you will not be worried every day because of the emotional damage or even betrayal, and you will never be sure what your future will be like.