Its not difficult for people to understand the hidden rules of the adult world. We have seen such a problem in the Zhihu: what are the social rules that everyone does not say but needs to know? One of the answers impressed me: no face is the biggest disrespect. The most important thing for Chinese people is face. Dont hurt your face. No one can avoid embarrassment in life. Inadvertent comparison, coldness and rejection may make people feel embarrassed, while smart people will always make timely efforts to resolve embarrassment. Li Hongzhang, a famous minister in the late Qing Dynasty, was very modest and polite. Once he went to Nanjing to deal with business and went to his hometown Hefei, so he was ready to visit his mentor Xu Ziling. Just walked to the door of Xus mansion, when the disciples saw that Li Hongzhang was wearing official clothes, they immediately rushed to report. However, Li Hongzhang immediately stopped the disciple and asked him not to report in a hurry. Could he borrow his ordinary clothes. Others dont know why, Li Hongzhang said: if I wear this official uniform to see my mentor and highlight my status as an official, it will definitely make my mentor feel pressure. Even if I read old love, he will feel uncomfortable. Put on the ordinary clothes, will let the teacher feel relaxed, will not have the estrangement existence. Yi Zhongtian once said that the most difficult thing in the world is worldly wisdom. The highest level of being human is not to let the other person feel that you are human. My friend once told me an experience, which deeply touched me. Once when he came out from a business trip, he brought some special snacks with him to invite you to have a taste. Just at this time, everyone just had lunch, so they politely refused the snacks. When he sent the snack to the last colleague, the colleague who had already had lunch happily accepted it, and said to her, I just didnt have enough lunch, thank you. after hearing this, the friend who was rejected heard one after another, the previous embarrassment disappeared. When we think of ourselves as polite and refuse people thousands of miles away, experts know how to leave a step for people. I used to think that human feelings are all kinds of things. After being polished by the world, we can understand that human feelings are focused on the word human. Smart people can set themselves in the interests of others, compare their hearts, and quietly give the human body.
The higher the level is, the better Yan Geling, the writer who knows how to give people a step down, once said: speak seven points, dont speak full, the tone is half lower than the average person, you are comfortable if you are low, then you will be false if you are low. Its the same with giving people steps. If you are too passionate, you will feel false. Its cold and impersonal. Zeng Guofan had a subordinate named Bao Chao, who was a rude man and always reckless. One year, at Zeng Guofans birthday party, other subordinates knew Zeng Guofans character and did not dare to send him gifts. Only Bao Chao brought more than ten gifts, mostly jewelry, to Zeng Guofan. Zeng Guofan saw that Bao Chao was so gracious. After laughing, he picked out the most common hat and returned the rest intact. If you accept them all, it will only damage your own principles. If you dont accept them all, it will hurt Bao Chaos feelings. If you choose an ordinary hat, its harmless. All things are learned, and human feelings are learned. The higher a persons level is, the more he knows how to step down. Never say everything, never do anything. Leave some room for everything, neither to hurt peoples feelings, nor to ruin their own reputation. When Hillary Clinton, an American politician, prepared for autobiography, she was mercilessly mocked by a TV host: her books cant sell well. If they sell more than one million copies, Ill eat the shoes! Unexpectedly, Hillarys autobiography sold very well. In less than a few weeks, the sales volume has exceeded one million. Soon after, the host received a pair of shoes, but the shoes were very special. It turned out to be Hillarys specially customized cake in the shape of shoes. A hero who has no sunset has to forgive others. Its also the top wisdom in life to give others a step without showing their colors. When you are in a dispute and cant turn the tide, you can break the situation by giving others a step. Down the steps of the side, will inevitably feel a loss, momentum will drop. In addition, its the other partys choice whether to go down or not, and they will win respect. The writer Su Cen once said: sometimes, when you are a man, even if you are straight, you should not be strong. Now that we have suffered losses, we need to make them more valuable. Put a step under someones feet and youll see the world appreciate you twice as much.
To be lenient to others is a blessing, and to benefit others is the foundation of self-interest. The ancients said that to be lenient to others is a blessing, and to benefit others is the foundation of self-interest. The reason why there are contradictions between people is that they are in trouble with each other. If you hurt me three points, I will pay you ten. You think you are invulnerable. I think you are invulnerable. Such repeated dozens of rounds, we must lose both sides are bruised. I have seen such a news. On the wedding day, the bridegroom with the best man group rushed into the brides house, ready to pick up his bride. I didnt expect the mother of the bride to ask for a high price red bag, otherwise she would not be able to take her daughter. In front of the crowd, the groom suddenly lost face. He had to tell his mother-in-law that he didnt bring so much money today, so he would make up for it after the wedding. Dont delay the time. One side of the heckler also said that he would make up later, but the mother-in-law and the bride just kept silent and let the bridegroom alone. The unbearable bridegroom left the bride behind and refused to return. The actions of the brides family bear witness to that saying: do good and evil according to others, and do good and evil by yourself. The world can be read as a book or as a play. In the play, there are all kinds of love, hate, love and hatred. The story starts and ends. But in reality, not everything has room for maneuver or steps to go down. When there are steps to go down, we should step back, not push forward. Its a persons biggest sorrow that he doesnt know how to give or follow the steps. Life comes and goes, and worldly wisdom is the bond between people. When a person is young, he is not worldly, and he can still be a shield for his inexperience. But at a certain age, he still goes his own way and is not reasonable, stupid or bad. The world is changeable and the road of life is rugged. The so-called Jianghu, in fact, is the world. If you want to live a stable life, you need to be more human, know how to give people a proper step down, and leave a decent to others. Share with you.
u25a0 Author: philosophy king source: philosophy life net (ID: zxrsnet), the wechat magnate that millions of people pay close attention to, reflect on the problems of life, comprehend the philosophy of life, pursue the freedom of mind and enjoy the happiness of wisdom.
u25a0 according to the C00 protocol, the figure is quoted from the online slow life editor and released for learning and communication purposes only, not for commercial purposes. Email: [email protected] (original contribution is welcome)
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