Just a few days later, I heard a female colleague who likes to gossip talking about him behind his back:
This man doesnt speak very much. He must be a man with a city;
He usually does not laugh, his heart must be dark, probably because the original family is not happy;
Moreover, his wechat avatar is still the most precious treasure. Its probably a scum man.
She said it with a clear face, as if she had found out the bottom of each other.
I couldnt help but ask her, with all this, what can it say? Dont you seem to have said a few words to him?
She said triumphantly, havent you heard about it? The details are personal. Just look at his wechat avatar and I will know what kind of person he is!
I dont know when, we are more and more keen on a detailed method of identifying people.
An action, a look, a sentence can be used as an iron evidence to judge a person.
Even a small circle of wechat friends can interpret a lot of information:
Those who use zhizunbao as their head portrait must be Zha man; those who sun their name bags and jewelry in the circle of friends must be protected; those who can be seen in the circle of friends for three days are not worthy of deep friendship
As a result, more and more people begin to judge others in vain because of these details; because of a small thing, it rises to the height of denying the whole person.
Some girls, because their boyfriend didnt reply to their wechat in time, asserted that he didnt love himself, and quarreled to break up;
Some people think this person is unreliable because of a joke from a friend, and finally they are strangers;
Others wear colored glasses to see people because of other peoples wechat avatars, causing many unnecessary misunderstandings
In fact, calm down and think about it. Are these details in your eyes really all the facts?
The details you see are not necessarily the truth
Everyone knows the story of the blind touch the elephant:
Once upon a time, some blind people wanted to know what an elephant looked like, but they couldnt see it, so they had to touch it with their hands.
People who touch the elephants trunk say that the elephant is like a very thick pipe,
Those who feel like ears say its like a big fan,
Those who touch Ivory say its like a radish,
Those who touch the elephant say its like a wall,
People who touch the legs say its like a tree trunk,
People who touch the tail say its like rope.
Blind people have different opinions and quarrels, saying that what they touch is the real appearance of the elephant.
And in fact? None of them is right.
These blind people are actually the shadow of many people.
They dont see the whole picture of a thing. They assume the truth with only one or two details. The result is often far from the truth.
It is easy for us to be prejudiced in our life and do harm to others rather than to ourselves.
In the novel South and North, there is such a plot:
The young girl Margaret moved her family from the warm south to a poor North Town because of her fathers job change.
One day, when Marguerite met Thornton, the owner of the factory, who was beating and scolding a worker, she immediately had a bad impression on Thornton, believing that he was a ruthless capitalist and not trustworthy.
Even though Thornton fell in love with her at first sight and began to pursue her, she always picked bones in her eggs and looked at Thornton everywhere.
It was not until later that she knew that Thornton beat the worker because he smoked in the textile workshop with flying catkins for many times, which almost caused a fire and endangered the lives of all the workers.
Thornton was so angry because he was worried about everyones safety. He wanted to teach him a lesson.
After the misunderstanding was cleared up, Margaret realized that she was too opinionated.
She took the initiative to reconcile with Thornton, and slowly found that Thornton was not as bad as she thought, and had many advantages. Finally, they came together.
The world is never black or white, and everyone is complex and multifaceted.
Blind eyes are not terrible, but blind hearts are terrible. Never think you know the world through one or two details.
Details do not necessarily show peoples character. It takes a long time to see peoples heart
As the saying goes, if you know horsepower from afar, you will see peoples hearts for a long time.
Details can only represent a part of the truth, while the whole truth can only be tested by time.
When I was in college, I had two roommates, Liu and Jie.
Big Liu is the kind of person who looks very forthright. He likes to talk and laugh, and soon gets familiar with everyone. If you need any help, he often claps his chest and says its on him.
And Xiaojie is usually reticent and doesnt like to take part in group activities, which seems to be difficult to deal with.
At the beginning, everyone liked to play with Liu. It was only slowly discovered that Liu seemed to be forthright, but in fact, he didnt really get the benefits.
He promised others to help, but often didnt follow; when we had dinner together, he always went to the toilet a few minutes before paying the bill, and often forgot to give money.
Although Xiaojie is quiet at ordinary times, he is very sincere to people.
Once a roommate was ill and nobody took care of him. Liu didnt see him go out, but Xiao Jie took the initiative to accompany him to the infirmary for injection and buy him medicine and porridge.
Slowly, everyone is more willing to be friends with Xiaojie. Now several years after graduation, we often have a party with Xiao Jie, but few people contact Liu.
Details are often one-sided and can be forged. Only time cant deceive people.
One can deceive others by hiding ones shortcomings and amplifying ones advantages, but it is impossible to cheat ones whole life.
Just like we can often see in the news that a famous person has the appearance and value of a tutor, and often does charity. Everywhere we go, its a sound of praise.
Until one day, it broke out that the man had cheated, taken drugs and made fake, people realized that the man was not so perfect, even more gloomy and terrible than ordinary people.
Please remember, details may not be able to see peoples character, but they can certainly see peoples heart in a long time.
Never judge others easily
I have read such a passage, and I feel deeply:
I have seen a man with arms tattooed giving up his seat on the bus;
I have seen teachers with glasses splashing in the vegetable market;
The white-collar, who is gentle and considerate to customers, turns around and yells at the little brother who sells to the outside world;
The stingy female colleagues sent their monthly salary to their parents and siblings.
In this world, it is not necessarily a gentleman who is well-dressed. It is not necessarily a bad woman who is exposed. Everyone has his own story. You can not understand it, but please shut up.
In essence, it is a kind of shortsightedness and arrogance of thinking to evaluate others easily through only one or two details.
The world is big and needs to be seen in a broader perspective; people are complex and need to understand them in a longer time.
Dont rush to define something, dont rush to label someone.
We just need to believe in the power of time, not be impatient, treat people calmly and do things rationally.
This is not only respect for others, but also a persons greatest wisdom and highest accomplishment.
Source: ten point reading (ID: duhaoshu).
Source: editor in charge of Netease open course: Chen Yaqian, nbj11113