First, he didnt trust me very much. He always thought that I was going for his money and worried about the lack of money.
Second, he promised to pay 3000 yuan per month for only one month, and then let me understand him. He said it was because he wanted to decorate two houses and so on. He delayed to give them to me in August, but he didnt fulfill his promise.
Now when I mentioned it to him, he would not talk about it, or he would say that the more you do, the more scared I am, the more worried you are about my money.
At present, I have proposed to break up. He stayed but didnt take action.
My confusion is that this relationship is harmonious in all aspects except money. Is it our communication problem or is he originally an irresponsible person?
How can I talk about money when I start my next relationship again?
Cold love reply:
Welcome to this 48 year old lady! Your appearance once again proves the wide audience of our column, from the age of 18 to 80, you can become our readers.
I respect you very much. I also want to discuss your story from the following three aspects.
First, lets talk about responsibility.
It seems that in your place, its his responsibility that he gives you 3000 yuan a month.
But if you want this kind of responsibility, I suggest you, the easiest way is to find a part-time job on weekends.
After all, your child is 22 years old, and you dont need to take care of him. You can do a part-time job on weekends and evenings, such as a part-time job as a housekeeper. Is there 3000 yuan for a housekeeping job on weekends and evenings? There must be.
At this time, you just need to find a responsible boss. If the boss is not responsible, you can also use the legal weapons to punish him, which is called responsible.
Responsibility should be clearly defined.
He can decide whether to give you the three thousand yuan, but its not his responsibility.
Second, talk about your relationship.
You said, he promised me three thousand yuan a month, but only for one month. Im afraid Im going for his money.
His worry is very correct. You are going for money, because your last question is: how to talk about money in the next relationship? Isnt that money?
So what he worries about most in this relationship is the lack of money and people. If you dont give him a sense of security, you wont get money. Because in this relationship, what you think is money, thats a fact.
Third, when will the next relationship begin to talk about money and how?
I want to tell you that the next time you want to talk about feelings, just talk about feelings instead of money. If you want to talk about money, talk about money from the beginning, not about feelings.
Because if a man really wants to start a relationship with you, he will find that you want money at the beginning, and he doesnt want you to get money.
Its like grabbing a handful of sand with your hand. The tighter the grabbing action is, the faster the sand runs. If you cant hold the sand, you can only let it go.
Mens money is like sand, you want to catch it, never catch it. But if you dont grab hard, just lie on the beach quietly, maybe all the sand will surround you.
So if you want money, you shouldnt take it as a result.
Money should make a man think you are worth it. When he is willing to give it to you, all the money will come.
If you want to start a relationship with money, youll never get money.
You can only get money directly for the purpose of money. For example, back to what I said at the beginning, you should make money directly instead of trying to get money through a relationship.
Illustration | Shenzhen, visual designer of Huazhen
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