So a lot of times, everyone seems to be normal, joking, brawling, calm on the surface, no tears and hysteria, but they can also accumulate their emotions to the extreme in the next second, no talking, no real collapse, no desire to live or dare to die.
Emotions seem to be seen as a mortal enemy. A lot of people say that emotional luxury, they have quit the mood.
Yang Mi, who has been in the entertainment industry since she was a child, said that she had given up her emotions when the reporter interviewed her how to control her emotions. If she encountered something that made her have a big emotional fluctuation, she told herself that she must press it down in a day.
Its sad that adults lose their right to collapse.
We say that we cant be dominated by emotions. We need to learn to control emotions instead of being slaves of them, but we go to the other extreme and turn away emotions and dont feel our emotions for a long time.
The result of not feeling ones emotions for a long time is that people tend to become numb, tired, dead, less and less to the outside world. There may also be psychological problems such as depression and anxiety, the most serious of which is suicide.
Many patients consultation said that they were troubled by negative pressure, in fact, their essence was that they could not properly manage their emotions. Some emotional reactions are due to poor working conditions and too disappointing material and emotional life. Other negative emotions are caused by patients themselves, and psychotherapy can understand and alleviate their symptoms.
When we dont understand our emotions, just to escape and suppress, we will only make life like a dead empty city.
Why do some people always take wrong actions in the face of emotions
Everyone is faced with the same external environment. Some people live a colorful life and can control their emotions well. And some people become slaves of emotions, always led by emotions, so as to take the wrong action to deal with emotions. Why is this? There may be several reasons.
1. Wrong cognition of emotion
Many people regard emotion as a monster. In fact, its normal for people to have emotions.
In the Book Psychology in life, written by Christopher Andre, the author mentions: there are always things in life that make us depressed, suffering, sad, unhappy and astringent Emotions are messages from the heart that tell us how internal or external events affect our psychology.
Emotion is like a signal to remind us of some kind of contradiction in our life, which needs to be solved.
Emotion is a flowing energy, like a shadow. Sometimes it gives us guidance, let us clear the direction, give us the power of action and the desire for life. But sometimes because of the improper management of emotions, it is easy to blind peoples eyes and make people suffer and not free.
It is important that we first understand emotions correctly.
2. Pay too much attention to the opinions of the outside world
Everyone plays a social role, under which they need to take certain responsibilities.
Many people live in external evaluation and hope to determine their own value through the evaluation of others. If you get a bad evaluation, you will be dissatisfied with yourself, have an uncertain fear, and cant find your own role.
Common ways to deal with emotional errors
Because of the wrong understanding of emotions, people with low emotional stability always take the wrong way to deal with emotions. Such as the following.
1. Depression and tolerance
In the face of emotions, many people feel that tolerance is over, and one of the wrong ways to deal with emotions is to keep holding back. Follow such big principles as dont lose your temper to others casually and impulse is the devil.
It also has something to do with Chinese culture, which emphasizes collective interests over individual interests. So many times, people are used to sacrificing individuals to become a collective, and feel that they need to serve the collective, and their emotions are not worth expressing, as long as they complete the collective expectations of themselves, so erase their feelings.
My neighbors aunt died of breast cancer the other day.
In my impression, she is a type of special consideration for others. She always puts others in the first place. She is very popular in the community.
But according to my mother, she is the kind of person who takes everything into her heart. She just doesnt say it outside. While she pays attention to these things, she suppresses her real thoughts, so she always sulks in her heart.
Repressed emotions are eating into her body step by step. Many physical causes can be attributed to emotional problems.
2. Secondly, neglect
Many people face emotions and think that as long as they dont take care of it or shift their attention, things will naturally pass, which is also the way most people use.
Sometimes its hard to look directly at the past pain, so in many cases, people choose to ignore that part of the emotions, do other things to distract their attention, and hope to solve the problem through the passage of time. The problem is always there, never solved. If we dont deal with it properly, those unseen injuries will only cause more pain.
There is a famous saying: the most hidden way to get rid of a person is to keep him too busy to grow up.
The growth here should not only be through external learning, but also introspection. So, I think the key to a persons success lies in the way he treats emotions. When emotions come, we should learn to accept and face them, instead of always avoiding and ignoring them.
Knowing ones own and knowing ones other will win every battle. Ones success starts from understanding ones own emotions.
In the face of emotions, what should we do
Freud said that emotions that are not expressed will never disappear. Theyre just buried alive, and one day theyll explode in a more ugly way.
The better way to deal with emotions is to know clearly what consequences will be caused by your actions, whether you are venting or not, and whether you are willing to bear the consequences.
For example, when emotions come, I can vent my emotions or not, if I can bear the consequences. Then I want to vent, I dont want to vent.
So, when emotions come, what do we do? In psychology in life, the author goes to these methods.
1. First identify the emotion
When emotions come, many people cant tell what they feel. They can only say hard or empty in general. But I didnt think about my own emotions. Anxiety or anger, fear or sorrow. For people with high emotional stability, they have higher emotional clarity and can clearly identify what they feel.
When emotions come, we need to recognize them first to solve them.
2. Think about why emotions arise
There is always a reason for emotions. Sometimes its because of social frustration, sometimes its because of emotional problems, and sometimes its not noticed that its related to your improper expectations. In the Book Psychology in life, for example, the author mentions the emotion of anger. Most of the time, peoples anger comes from the unreasonable imagination of the world, what kind of world they think should be, when things develop and their own imagination At the same time, he will be angry, which is unreasonable.
3. Find corresponding ways to deal with this emotion
When emotions come, we should learn to accept our own emotions, not feel shame, self blame or worry about negative emotions, and not think that we should not feel negative emotions.
Then take some corresponding methods to vent their emotions. For example, in the way of sports. Psychology has proved that the system of body movement is dominated by the right brain and emotions. When we move our body, we directly establish a very important connection with the emotional center of that part. As long as our body moves, it can trigger emotions well.
In addition to sports, we can also use the way of self dialogue, which is a very important psychological skill to regulate ourselves. Dialogue is also the process of reconstructing our cognition, preparing some positive words and practicing them. Or we can write down emotions and keep emotional diaries, which, like dialogue, make us aware of ourselves.
Controlling emotions requires constant practice. The so-called EQ is the ability to manage emotions. In many cases, people are unable to communicate effectively because of emotional distress.
Know how to manage and control emotions. In foreign exchange and communication, people become calm and good at communication. They not only understand their own feelings, but also the feelings of others, understand others, build harmonious interpersonal relationships, and have a harmonious and happy life.
Psychology in life
Psychology that everyone can read, understand and use