The exams are all over. Who takes the time to review?
The meaning of love and marriage is nothing more than to make ones life colorful.
But many people would like to spend 25 hours together in a day when they are in love, but after a long time, you will find that you havent sat down to eat a meal or watch a movie together for a long time.
Ive seen a story like this:
There was a couple who had been married for three years, but the seemingly uneventful life made her feel that every day was torture. So she asked for a divorce. He thought his wife was just making a fuss and tried to coax her in a few words.
But the wife has never had a decision, she said: you never have a good company with me.
Such words completely consumed all his patience. He asked her loudly: I dont come home from work every day to accompany you. What are you dissatisfied with?
After listening, she just smiled, as if she was mocking. She said: company is not that I cook a meal waiting for you to go home, you tell me you have no appetite when you get home; company is not that I sit in the living room and watch TV, you lie in the room and play with your mobile phone, you are really willing to talk with me.
In fact, many people think that company means that when they are doing nothing, they are in the same space.
But in fact, that kind of company, even if you go to a coffee shop, even two strangers, can also be achieved.
If the meaning of marriage is to eliminate all the forms of love, what is left?
Earn enough money for a lifetime and lose a whole family
Some people think that to love someone is to make her food and clothing comfortable.
But in fact, she wants your company more than wealth.
I once saw a public service short film, which caused countless peoples deep thoughts on marriage and family:
A man eager to succeed in his career spends a lot of time at work. Add the latest class, do the most work, he firmly believes that sentence: for family, become a working machine.
On the way to success, he walked longer and longer, but he was farther away from his family. It was not until the day of his success that he thought of going home.
But when he walked into the house, he found that the house was as if no one had lived in it for a long time. It was covered with thick dust everywhere, and his wife and children were gone.
Only left the little Trojan that the child once played, swaying on the ground alone.
He inadvertently saw himself in the mirror, not as he had been, but as a robot with a mask. When he heard the news, he asked quickly: did you see my wife and children?
The other side replied coldly: do you have a wife and children?
He finally understood that he had achieved success in his career, but lost the family he once loved.
Some people say that if you want something, you will give up something first, but your family has lost it. Whats the point of success?
Home and love make sense.
But as soon as the infatuation is over, you will find that he is quite different from the past.
Why does he change?
When a man is just with you or hasnt got you, he will certainly please you. Because his dopamine or his sexuality is driving him to get you.
Once the love period is over, there is no purpose to drive him. He will naturally give up the action of pleasing you.
But women are different. When she feels his flattery, she has already established her own expectation mechanism for the future of this relationship. When the actual actions in the future no longer meet the expectations, they will fall into unprecedented disappointment, which is a failure of the expectation mechanism.
Its like when you see a cake, you think it must be delicious. When you really buy it and feel disappointed after tasting it, its not the fault of cake. It never tells you how delicious it is. It tells you your own brain. So that disappointment also comes from the failure of expectations.
So its not that hes changed, its that hes lost his drive and can no longer meet your expectations.
Love itself is uncertain.
In fact, many women always think about one question: who am I? They are always looking for a dependence in their whole life, but where they are born, they belong to another person.
The reason why a man can change is that he firmly believes that you belong to him and cant do without him all his life. So there is no need to please you or keep you in any way.
You have to understand that you never belong to anyone, now or later.
Only in this way can he know how to love you well.