Some people are naturally optimistic and others are silent. This is a congenital factor and is not an option. Another is acquired factors, namely, the growth environment, family neglect, childrens inferiority, both want to live a better emotional life, but also suffer from being unable to break through their own personality constraints.
What impact does sensitivity have on life? Sensitivity is actually an enlargement of feelings, and it is not a single feeling.
Like a person with a keen taste bud, he tastes bitterness more easily than others, and so does sweetness. Sensitive people are more likely to feel pain, sadness and anger than others. At the same time, happiness, joy and happiness are equally easy to feel.
So, life is the same. Ordinary people live as plain as water, while sensitive people live ups and downs, and the same is true in feelings.
When two people get along, its like the orbits of two parallel planets intersecting. When different characteristics rub against each other, cracks and sparks will occur. Sensitive people undoubtedly magnify this point.
Later, I learned that, in fact, it is not very serious things, such as boys sometimes get busy without returning information, occasionally playing with her classmates to make her feel left out, girls do not say angry, boys feel puzzled, the healthy mode of living has not been established, contradictions accumulated in dribs and drabs, leading to the final breakup.
Although feelings come and go quickly, but the original sweetness is undeniable. How to make good use of such a trait is more important than the bad effects of sensitivity.
Boys tend to think rationally and girls tend to think sensitively. In daily life, girls tend to be more sensitive. They care about each others actions and even some casual joke. They can all talk alone, sulk, and confuse boys. In fact, these details are not a big deal, but sensitive people will magnify it dozens of times, so that people seem to be fussy.
In fact, they are also very easy to feel happiness. Maybe a boys casual small move, such as pulling a handle when crossing the road, or helping to screw the water bottle cap, will also be magnified by dozens of times.
Its better to identify with and embrace it than to deny sensitivity. First recognize your strengths and weaknesses, and then engage in a relationship better.
The following are four recommendations:
1. Recharge the relationship every other time
Two peoples feelings to a certain extent, from acquaintance and love to acquaintance, will accumulate a certain negative emotional energy, may be the difference of three views, or different behavior habits, such as boys hate to be disturbed while playing games, while girls will feel left out.
Sensitive people are more likely to be blinded by feelings of inferiority and sadness when such things happen, so that they can make some extraordinary acts, such as deleting messages or the cold war.
At this time, you might as well stop yourself, find a time, find a quiet place, communicate well with each other, listen to soothing music, and express your views on the relationship between two people. For example, when you dont like each other playing games, you completely ignore yourself, put forward constructive suggestions, agree to play games with a time limit, and then call, chat, are completely acceptable. In this way, it can increase two peoples feelings.
2. Know Your Sensitivity Source
The so-called sensitive source refers to the things that cause us emotional fluctuations.
Highly sensitive people often magnify sensitive sources, one of which is called over-personalization. For example, a joke in a Wechat from the other side, we cant determine what kind of tone it is across the screen, so we magnify it with our own understanding, thus causing misunderstanding and feeling that the other side is saying bad things about themselves and is trapped in discontent.
Another form is called overgeneralization. For example, if a friend thinks that the hairpin we choose is ugly, and makes a casual comment, we will interpret the overevaluation as a friends dissatisfaction with us.
When we have strong emotional fluctuations because of the other persons comments, try to calm down and ask ourselves a few questions.
Is this evaluation aimed at me or at something on me?
Is it for me alone or for a group of people?
What is the intent of the other partys evaluation?
Do I have negative emotions out of anger, sadness or inferiority?
Through self-analysis, we can identify our over-individualization or over-generalization mentality, and we can have a proper grasp of other peoples views, thus avoiding magnifying the facts.
3. Focus on your emotional energy value
When we are busy working all day and want to have a good rest at home, the other party complains about something. One hour, two hours, maybe we can still keep a good state of communication with the other party at the beginning. But when we feel a little impatient, we should take certain measures to gently interrupt the other party and bring out new topics while answering the other party. For example, we can talk about todays happy things when we have some good movies recently, make an appointment and lead the topic to the positive side.
When everyone is in a bad mood, do not let it spread indefinitely. Grasp your own state, know where your energy value is. When you feel that you are in a bad state, find a reason to be alone. When you are in a more peaceful and happy mood, communicate with the opposite party.
4. Improve your insensitivity
Man is like a machine. If he works for a long time, parts will be damaged. If he is in a sensitive state for a long time, he will feel a lot of emotional energy, and his endurance is very limited. If he falls into the emotional whirlpool, he will lose his reason and affect his daily life.
Sensitivity is relative to the sense of insensitivity. It can be understood as letting the feelings become dull, and bringing the face to speak or life trivial, like friends Tucao, familys complaints, screening, using most of the feelings on the beautiful things, enjoying the time with each other, seeing the sunset, enjoying the shopping together, instead of all aspects, which will lose self.
Keep in mind that your feelings are the most important. Control your emotions, transmit positive energy, influence people around you, turn couples into partners, support each other, and grow up with each other.
Emotions need to be managed, and sensitive people will treat their feelings more carefully. Sometimes, it is advisable to be bold enough to feel the beautiful moment when two people are together, to resolve unhappy things, and to face a better future for the two people, so that the relationship can go steadily.
Author | Chen Chaowei likes psychology, reading and self-confidence is the most powerful source of strength. When it comes to snow in the evening, you can drink a glass of nothing.