To lose weight, I had a diet and exercise plan made by a health administrator. I lost 8 kilograms in two months and then went up sharply after giving up.
Running, have run a half marathon one after another, and then give up, now walking a little breathless.
Textual research, enrolled in several courses, wasted a lot of money, but one of the certificates did not pass the exam.
Even reading love stories gives up because of the self-reproach that often springs from the heart.
It can be seen that my friend is very anxious and self-reproachful. He always wants to make himself better. He wants to stick to a good habit, but in the end, he always gives up for various reasons.
Self-improvement does not depend on willpower
All the things we want to do and cant do are usually attributed to lack of willpower. So we began to do everything possible to exercise and improve willpower. We told ourselves that we should persist and persist and never give up! ___________
In fact, its a bit like muscle. It will consume a part of it after use. It needs rest if you want to recover. Thats why we contact our predecessors late at night, overeating late at night, crying late at night... When your willpower is running out, you do things you dont do during the day.
So we cant rely on our willpower to improve ourselves.
Self-improvement is to challenge our own discomfort and constantly expand our comfort circle. What we need is sustainable development, not short-term outbreak. So we should try our best to cultivate some good habits instead of relying on willpower to support them.
1. Find partners and establish contractual relationships
When I was a child, I often delayed doing my summer homework by myself, but it became much easier to get together with a few small partners.
On the one hand, because people are social animals, together can accompany and understand each other, do not have to suffer alone, and can share the sense of achievement and happiness together after doing it; on the other hand, when we want to play, the companions around us will supervise us.
When we grow up, this method can still be used. When we want to improve ourselves, we can find like-minded partners to complete it together.
For example, if I wanted to stick to running, I found a companion with the same goal and set up a running contract, which was written as follows:
Its important to find like-minded partners to do the same thing, even if they are not at the same time and place. We just need to know that under the same sky, there will be companionship, understanding and encouragement when someone does the same thing with us.
2. Good habits begin in 2 minutes
We tend to prefer to do things that are already habitual without thinking, such as lacing, because we are very skilled in lacing every day, so which line is on, which one is on, which foot is on, which foot is first, which foot is next, can be completed without thinking at all, has been automated, and does not feel tired.
Its hard to start everything. Although we know the benefits of good habits, its the most uncomfortable when we first change them. We can start all habits in 2 minutes and tell ourselves that they last for 2 minutes.
Fitness, change clothes in 2 minutes, if you dont want to exercise, go away.
Get up early and walk for 2 minutes. If you dont remember, fall down and go to sleep.
Read, open the book and read for 2 minutes. If you dont want to read, put it down.
Two minutes is not difficult, is it? Can you always insist?
First develop a habit of starting mode, one day will feel that the gym is coming, iron and then go!
If you wake up early, you might as well make breakfast.
Ive seen half of the book. Lets finish this chapter.
We often set goals for ourselves and talk about how we should start tomorrow, but often we cant hold on for a few days, and we will give up and be frustrated for various reasons.
Every action and thought of us is the result of twenty or thirty years from birth to now. Where can it be changed so easily, we should first form a habit in two minutes.
If all the above methods dont work, maybe there is something wrong with our deepest motivation. For example, we dont really want to have a test, or lose weight just because of following the trend.
At this time, we should first think clearly about what is the most important for us at present. Only if you want to understand this point and then do it, can you have the best effect.
For example, at present, it is the most important thing for us to get rid of the single. Maybe at this time, we can hardly stick to the task because we have to work hard at the examination and Certification Committee and can not arouse any interest in class. It is more like a task that we are forced to accomplish.
But if we expand our social circle at this time, we may get twice the result with half the effort and be very motivated to do so. Because our loneliness and anxiety about being single can make us very active in making friends.
Therefore, before self-improvement, we can think quietly about what is the most important thing for us at the moment, and then start with pertinence, which will make our promotion more effective.
Growing up is a long process. Give yourself more patience.
Before my friend Ning Ning resigned, he said to me, Ha ha ha ha ha, finally I can stop working. I want to lie at home for half a month, then go out for half a month, and then slowly find a job. As a result, just a week later, I said to me, Its boring. I waste my life at home every day. I cant live up to it. Im going to send my resume next week.
For such a long life, dont push yourself too hard. Believe that we have the instinct to make progress.
Share a few small ways to make the process easier:
1) Have time to rest and do what we want to do, even if its just going to a movie, watching a play, having dinner with friends and so on. Rest should also be planned into your life, and dont push yourself too hard.
3) Meditation is a good way to relax. It takes 10 minutes to empty your brain and think about nothing. It only focuses on your breathing at the moment. I put my mask on the sofa every night and meditating for 15 minutes is a completely relaxed time.
You are also welcome to see the article in the message area and share your small methods, so that you can make progress easily and happily together.
On the way to becoming a better self, it is impossible not to be frustrated and not to change, but I am very opposed to bitter and hateful changes. Who says that self-improvement must be painful?
Our journey is the stars and the sea. I hope there are not only thorns but also flowers along the way.