Cold love, I got your help before, ended the last fruitless relationship and got to know my boyfriend now. Although his educational background and family background were not as good as mine, he had a marriage (his ex-wife divorced because she disliked him for making less money, and according to him his ex-wife was very beautiful). He is more enthusiastic and kind to me.
Together with him, I didnt pay much attention to his educational background and earning ability. I just thought it was really hard to meet someone I really liked in my thirties. I wanted to cherish this relationship. Now Ive been in contact for four months, and Im basically happy with each other.
But some of his words, deeds and experiences made me insecure about him.
Because he had mortgaged his house to do business before, he met a girl who was very beautiful. Later he introduced the girl to his brother and helped her make a big deal. The girl said she would invite him to dinner with his brother. His brother said he would call me.
But my straight boyfriend said that she had such a bad drink and was worried about it. Now I was really angry and asked him if he was absent, he was going to send the woman home. He said she was his good friend, and of course he would take her home.
Then we had a quarrel in the restaurant. After his brother persuaded us to calm down, he apologized to me and said that his straight man had not considered my feelings.
The next day, I took the initiative to mention this matter to him and let him be careful about this girl, but he said that a person can prove what kind of person he is just by looking at others.
I dont know whether he really doesnt understand or whether he just looks at people. His personality really makes me feel insecure. My emotional experience is relatively simple. I live and work in the educational circle. I know this girl didnt take him as a goal, but if I really had this idea, I didnt have her skills at all, and I also felt that I was emotionally stupid.
Cold love, in fact, is he too simple, or my idea is really a problem? How to persuade him correctly?
The first one, which we think is the best one, is called alliance.
When we are threatened by anyone, the best way is not to fight the other side right away. Like this girl, if she was in the palace play, her first episode couldnt go on, and she was directly out of the PK.
You know, the best strategy is to attack and defeat without fighting. If you can handle things well without doing anything, it is the best outcome.
What does that mean? In fact, you should make alliances with others, for example, she said she was drunk after two glasses of sparkling wine, and everyone had a protective desire for her.
She is not running business, you say to this girl: Hey, I want to introduce you some business, I have some friends, they want to mortgage the house or what, I can introduce you. This woman must be very willing.
You had a meal with her and even gave her a small gift and said, Oh, actually, Im a little sad, because I dont know how to get along with men very well. Can you teach me a few tricks and tell me how to deal with these smelly men?
So you pay a visit to a teacher to learn a skill and give some small gifts, and this thing will be settled. And she is your master. You cant always grab the things of your apprentices?
Always remember that one more friend is always better than one more enemy, and alliance is the best strategy.
You should consider this drinking occasion as your home.
Of course, there are many other things you can do. Now that she says shes drunk, you can count on being a good woman to take care of the drunk.
The more important thing is that you can also plan and quietly wonder about it and say to your boyfriend, Ah, I dont usually drink much or feel drunk. Why is she suddenly drunk and curious? Thats enough. You still have a quarrel with your boyfriend. At this time, you should plan and do a good job at home, which is the best.
If you cant do it, then teach you the third way: heaven and earth move.
The so-called great change of heaven and earth is how the other party does it, how do you do it, in the way of others, but also others.
You need to know that the great change of heaven and earth is what the other party does, and you can do what you do. Thats no problem, you can do it.
Of course, this has fallen behind, and there must be no good plan on the scene. But somehow, you do it in the same way as others.
If you want to say that you cant do it, you dont think you can do it yourself. Thats good. Ill teach you another move, which is called encircling Wei and saving Zhao.
Surrounding the Wei Dynasty to save Zhao is an ancient story, which means to achieve the current goal through a different goal.
What does that mean? When you cant beat someone in the front battlefield, you have to open up a second battlefield.
For example, you do face the scene of drinking now, you cant play, you cant do well, its actually very simple, you can talk to your boyfriend directly on the spot about another important topic, whether its the topic of your family or other important things.
But beware, dont lie at this time, dont suddenly tell your boyfriend that the toilet is blocked at home, you go back and get it for me, and then go back and see whats wrong. Its wrong to tell more stories about wolves coming. You have to find a topic, a very important topic, and this topic is when you discuss with your boyfriend, can let him pay attention to.
For example, your boyfriend had a marriage, and maybe you had a similar discussion. But if at this time, you suddenly talk to him about these serious topics, of course, remember to say one-to-one, you can say: Todays scene reminds me of an important thing... Call him out alone, and as soon as you start talking, youll find that the contradiction between drinking is over and your attention shifts to something else.
Of course, if you cant do that, we can finally teach you a trick called killing with a knife.
You have four people on the spot. You and your boyfriend, as well as the girl and your boyfriends brother. At this time, you can make fun of both of them.
You say, Ah, you two drink a cup of wine. You can let her drink with that man. You can say, Two sparkling drinks make her drunk. Thats all right. Just one more drink. You two have another drink. Maybe your boyfriends brother is trying to drink with her?
So if you want to create some opportunities for others to work with each other, then you can kill people with your knife, and the problem will be solved. This way is to shift the focus of contradiction to other people present, which can be done entirely.
Have you learned these five tricks? Learn any trick, in fact, can, but the most important thing is to land.
Usually in the question and answer, we talked about many real ways of thinking, such as, to improve their personality, improve their EQ, control their emotions... We should pay attention to the fact that Tao is at this level.
The root cause of these problems for this girl is that she cant control her emotions.
She quarreled with her boyfriend on such an occasion because she was influenced by her emotions. She was worried, panicked and anxious. She couldnt talk to her boyfriend in a rational way. So even if you learn these skills, its no use without Tao to carry them.
You must not indulge in these small tricks, or study diligently. Look at our daily questions and answers, columns, including the emotional topics we wrote in the past, because mental method is fundamental. With Tao as the foundation and Shu as the supplement, we can deal with all the problems in our life with ease.
If you have any other problems in your life, you can also submit a paper to tell us, I hope we can provide you with a few ways to solve these common problems, especially such straight women vs. green tea bitches or similar common problems. We will give you a trick, no problem at all, and we will update your tool library more in the future.
So, after seeing so much, if you think its worth it, you can forward it to the people who need it and let those green tea bitches know how many pounds they are.
Illustration | Shenzhen, Visual Designer of Huazhen
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