A girl named Xu Lu was born in a broken family. My father was so addicted to alcohol that my mother ran away with her when she was three years old and never showed up again. Xu Lu grew up in the countryside in her childhood. Nobody cared about her life or death except her two aunts. Only the aunt has her own family, can do very limited, at most only occasional visits, so that she will not be cold and hungry.
No one taught Xu Lu the truth of being a man.
She can easily sniff out the meaning of other peoples words, even if it is a look, she can acutely receive hidden attacks and unhappiness. She forced herself to be more clever and clever, so that life would be better and fate would test her, and she would be a little more pleasant.
Xu Lu is in this environment, ushered in her 15-year-old. She had just graduated from junior high school that year, and her ordinary talent and growth experience of lack of discipline were all concentrated on that report card. A messy study, no reason to continue, Xu Lu did not know where the road ahead, every day is confused and melancholy. A boy named Chen Yuan saved her. It was her classmate, bold, thoughtful, and somewhat handsome. Xu Lus gray and silent adolescence was because Chen Yuan had a few unexpected colors. He let her ride his bicycle and take her to the country stream to catch fish. They also secretly tasted each others lips in the bushes behind the mountains. That year, they faced the choices of life together. Chen Yuan encouraged Xulu to work together in the south. Money is everywhere in the South, and countless examples of wealth encourage young people to go out rather than stay in the field. Chen Yuan gave her a blueprint. He said that his mother acquiesced in their relationship, Xu Lu went south with him, could eat and live with his family, and after two years saved a little money, he could arrange wine for marriage. This blueprint makes Xu Lu heartbeat.
If her mother is still there, or her father cares more about her, or even other elders in the family have pointed out a little, she will understand how risky it is.
Xu Lu, 15, and Chen Yuan, 16, came down to work together. Chen Yuans parents set up a small stall in the south. Although it was not a lucrative business, they had some surplus in the end. They rented a small apartment in the dilapidated Xiangyang lane. The house had been for many years. The paint on the four walls had been mottled, and the corners were rolled over one by one. A gale would peel off most of them. Xu Lu and Chen Yuan lived there together. Because they are not old enough to enter the factory, they have some difficulties in finding jobs. Chen Yuan was a boy with all his strength. Soon he asked his fellow countrymen to find a part-time job on the construction site. Xu Lu, with a childish baby face, dared not leave her anywhere. She can only wash and cook at home. Xu Lu, always sensitive, noticed the unhappiness of future mother-in-lawu2014u2014
She promised to take her in because she wanted to make money and pay for her living.
Why give her a good face when she eats and drinks all day?
Xu Lu understands the hardships of her hosts, and she is more cautious in doing things. She dares not slack in buying vegetables and cooking. Even if it is an onion flower, she should make detailed accounts for her mother-in-law to check expenses. Chen Yuan may have thought about her situation, or not, an equally young boy, who knows the hard world? Like many boys, he often yelled at Xu Lu in order to show his manhood. In the evening, a family watched TV together. Xu Lugang picked up the remote control, and Chen Yuan seized it impatiently. Dont change my station... Xu Lu put down the remote control embarrassingly and her face turned red. She knew that the father-in-law and mother-in-law were wearing a contemptuous smile at the corner of her mouth. Chen Yuan neednt say that. He just showed off his authority and was very proud. Xu Lu was in the old rental house and struggled to support her until she was 16 years old.
During this year, my father did not make a phone call, and my mother remained silent.
The two aunts had asked a few questions, but apart from sighing, they were just a few soft and powerless exhortations.
Xu Lus life continues. She had one of the biggest problems - getting pregnant. No mothers children, even monthly things are ignorant, men and women are even ignorant, Chen Yuan how to say, she did. She never wanted to be a mother, but she was sure that she was going to be a mother. What kind of life will a 16-year-old unmarried pregnant girl experience?
Unfortunately. You can think of the misfortune that Xu Lutong experienced.
They were losing face to her more and more.
Because they finally confirmed that the girl would not run away.
They have done her wrong, and they have done her daughter wrong. The childs clothes were dirty when he ate. The mother-in-law waved her palm and fanned the childs face without thinking about it. Her face is still so small, which can stand the fan ah, a few palm prints all day clear. Weak Xu Lu cant protect her daughter. She can only cry and beg for mercy. Sometimes she hated them and wanted to break the net with them. She wanted to call the police and escape, but the next second, her daughters crying reminded her of the cruelty of reality. She cant run anywhere.
She has no money, no family. The drunken father passed away last year. Mother is still nowhere to be seen. Even auntstelephone calls are getting fewer and fewer. Where can she go? She doesnt even have money for a meal.
The short two lines on the paper, engraved in Xu Lus life, are speckled with tears.
Over the years, she has caught Chen Yuan numerous times in Internet cafes. Once sunny boys, after several years of bright lights, become more and more lazy, more and more loose. He didnt want to go home or work. He went to the Internet Cafe whenever he had time. Take the wages of three melons and two dates, and invite sisters to play all night. Its no use crying or making noise. Her parents-in-law would only sneer at her: My man cant see, what can we do? Their contempt for her is blatant. If a woman without a mothers family practices, she will do it. Who can make a difference for her?
Buy a bag of sanitary napkins, you have to look at the face of your parents-in-law, eat a few more dishes, mother-in-law immediately scolded. Husband cant count on it. Hes completely second-rate now. Hes lazy and grumpy. He dares to show her the chat records with his sisters flagrantly.
Xu Lus only way out is to become a workshop worker. When she makes money, she doesnt have to ask for living expenses, but also has access to the larger world. Only then did she realize that she was beautiful. The woman in the workshop joked that her baby was born early. If she came out to work two years earlier, she would be able to get married in good condition. This kind of words listened to a lot, Xu Lu gradually went to heart. She really began to fantasize. If she hadnt been with Chen Yuan, would her fate be different? And now, she has a child, there is still a chance to turn the tables?
People are afraid of having ideas.
Xu Lus idea was awakened by a man named Li Feng. Li Feng is different from other workers. He has culture and is a college student. It is said that the relatives of the factory leaders come to the workshop to be the supervisor, hone for two years and then do their own business. Li Feng sympathized with Xu Lus experience and treated her differently from other women workers. She was also invited to see two movies. Li Feng said, You are still so young. Why do you have to live like this? You should have a good life.
How touching it is to live a good life once. Xu Lu cant resist, just like Li Feng.
Thats a wonderful feeling. Its like walking in the desert and suddenly seeing an oasis. Xu Lu even thought of her mother in a moment. Did her mother run with people like that? At that time, she was only 3 years old and didnt know anything, but later she heard a few words from the village people occasionally. When her mother went out to work, she was haunted by a man.
She decided to have a showdown with Chen Yuan.
Women, always easy to take risks, that moth-like heroism, it is easy to breed in women. Their seemingly weak bodies, once they get some inspiration, will burst out of the strength of self-desperation.
Thats Xu Lu. After having a relationship with Li Feng, she resolutely decided to divorce her husband. It was her first rebellion against fate in more than twenty years. She had all her worst intentions in mind, and they probably would not agree. They would detain her daughter, humiliate her, or even hit her. But she was not afraid. She has Li Feng. Li Feng is a cultural person. He speaks with a special level and a very complicated procedure. Li Feng can explain it clearly in three words and two words. He always smiles and looks at her eyes gently and says in an orderly way: Ill give you an analysis and analysis. Its not difficult... As soon as she thought of Li Feng, she fell into a kind of confused sweetness. She was willing to bear all the costs of this sweetness. After listening to Xu Lu, Chen Yuan exploded. He never thought that his gentle wife would betray him. Even in these years, he has done countless such things. But how can that be the same? Hes a man. Shes only a woman! He could not imagine that she would take such a big risk for that man! Is Xu Lu mad? Who is the family? Why do you like a woman worker? After all, Chen Yuan spent several years out of town. He had no other abilities. He still had a certain degree of accuracy. He immediately judged that his wife had been fooled. No one will be able to make a start for her, but he has been a captive woman since he was 15 years old. Its so simple that if he only talks in two words, he can be desperate. He quickly sought out solutions in his head. Is divorce impossible? For such a man, even if betrayal is unacceptable, the more terrible thing is that his wife really ran away with someone - marrying another woman back at the cost of his condition, I dare not think about it. Chen Yuan decided to break Xu Lus mind.
Its so easy to do it. He hardly took any effort, but he threatened Li Feng with a few words. He quickly pleaded for his convenience and confessed his mistake. The gentle cultural man not only vowed not to contact Xu Lu again, but also respectfully offered a seal fee.
This is a windfall. Chen Yuan proudly showed Xu Lu the results of the negotiations.
Xu Lu sat down at the edge of the bed and did not speak for a long time. The light in her eyes dimmed little by little. She was so naive that she thought about everything, but never thought about it. Li Feng was unwilling to do so.
Xu Lus youth ended so thoroughly. She became a thoroughly vulgar woman, arguing for three melons and two jujubes, talking to different men, naughty to her daughter, and constantly challenging her husbands patience. He hit her, and she followed him. It was already broken, and she was not afraid to break a little more. Xu Lu is fat and vicious. She bullies the new people in the factory, practices the green girls, arranges the gossip between them and the supervisor, slaps their thighs in a proper way, and scolds the foxes vividly:
Young girls cant control their legs. They dont have to give money. They sleep with people in two words...
Whoever sees Xulu now will feel disgusted. But thats not true in my mind.
Ive seen her look the cleanest. At that time, she was not pregnant. She sat in the room timidly and listened to a tape. It was Chen Huixians Thousand Queens Song.
Even if thousands of songs float far away in the future, even if the stars shine thousands of nights tonight, the moon is not as beautiful as this night, nor can it make me appreciate it more because you sing with me tonight. Her Cantonese is not standard, so she only dares to sing in a low voice. Her hands are on her cheeks and her eyes are full of tenderness. She noticed that I was looking at her, and her cheeks flushed instantly. She flustered off the recorder and stood up awkwardly and asked me if I wanted to eat melon seeds. I can never forget Xulu like that. Until a long time later, I also told people about Xu Lus story. After listening with great interest, the other side began to make endless comments: She shouldnt have lived with people from the beginning... When she was young, she didnt know anything about it... Im not old enough to do such a foolish thing when Im 15! No one has taught her this. Besides, even if she doesnt follow Chen Yuan, she is so young and doesnt read any books. Its easy to be cheated to wander alone... So its time to study hard, why not study hard...
Suddenly I choked and all the conversations were dull at that moment.
That girl is not Xu Lu. She cant understand Xu Lus life. She grew up in a very happy family. Wherever she went, it was a striking light. She can say, think, have opinions, and retreat, she can not imagine Xu Lus life. She would even think that I had made up such a story, because none of her friends lived like Xu Lu. How could there be such a cramped woman in the world? Its impossible. Its impossible.
Of course shes not to blame. Like she doesnt understand Xu Lu, I guess if Xu Lu knows her, she cant understand her. Xu Lu cant imagine that there are some women in the world who can really control their own destiny. They can finish their studies, do the work they want to do, marry the person they want to marry, accidentally repent, and choose to be single and divorced. They described the choice of fate as light and breezy: on a sunny afternoon, they went out wrapped in a coat. Wrapped in an overcoat, I went out. What a smart gesture. Xu Lu dared not think about it.
No, she thought about it once, but the price was too heavy - that time, Chen Yuan pressed her right face into the boiling water...
She was disfigured. Become a hopeless, hopeless ugly woman. She was full of malice, patting her thighs while waiting to see the jokes of beautiful women. Because she has become a joke herself, which is constantly spread, extended and explained. Anyone can come up to comment on her fate and regret her stupidity.
Those exaggerated looks, look very confident, smart.
But a lot of times, we think we are smarter than others, more right than others, more persistent than others, in the final analysis, but all because we happen to be luckier than others.