She saw a grave where her children got out of the car.

 She saw a grave where her children got out of the car.

With their stories, the island, full of injured children, began to build a gateway to our world.

In an island world, Peter Pan was killed, and Never Land was a land of despair.

1. Peter Pan is dead and there is no land full of despair.

(The following is based on comments and messages from netizens on Weibo)

I wanted to talk back to my mother about the psychological shadow of my childhood, but my mother blocked all the possibilities of communication in one sentence. She asked me in surprise, How could I have hit you? I love you before its too late. Those deep-seated palms, pinches and scolds are like corpses hidden under the ice.

They always say,I just swear at you. Do you want to remember it all your life? I dont understand why I cant remember my parents for a lifetime when they say they want to strangle me.

Before going to college, I was always beaten. Once I was beaten because I gave someone my mobile number. My father beat me up and told me to make a chicken. He hit me on the head with a broom and said he would sweep me out of the house. Im 22 now. Because of some reasons, I cant live independently. Every day at home is very depressed and I cant speak during the day. I cant talk when I go home at night. If I quarrel with them, I will be scolded.

But hate and dare not hate, since childhood abuse is to instill in the `you are a white-eyed wolf, you exist let me suffer, do not stay at my home, moral bound me, self-accusation and inferiority first overwhelm me. Its impossible to resist and communicate. I dont understand. Im very good.

The end is punished by the mothers loss of the child, but where is enough? After all, the child is suffering from gnashing his teeth. If you treat me well, I will treat you well. If you treat me badly, I will not treat you well. Isnt that natural? How many parents can not accept the appearance. Finally, I hope that domestic violence will no longer be classified into household chores, it is not abuse and what is abuse.

The second grade curled up in the corner and cried in the face of punches and kicks and said,Mom, dont fight any more, Im wrong. When she was a little older, she laughed and shared my embarrassment with her relatives as if I were just talking about it. I will always remember that smile. She never admitted that my childhood had any impact on me, and she said I was just passing the buck and blaming others.

My third grade of primary school didnt dare to show the papers to my parents because they didnt do well in the exam. After falling asleep, my mother helped me pack up my schoolbag and found my papers. She shook me up and threw me on a motorcycle to the corn fields more than ten kilometers away from our side. Finally, my father brought me back. I dont remember how long I stayed. I just remember being sleepy, confused and afraid, and I dare not cry for anything strange.

The painful experience of youth is symbolized as the external impact of abortion, car accidents, family changes, but there are few personal and introspective depictions.

But many peoples real youth is trapped in the mire of the family where there is no place to breathe, and their relatives are often engulfed by language violence.

2. Language violence binds relatives and filial piety, which is the true youth of many people.

No one knows what Ive been through. The myths and legends of fathers love like mountain mothers love like water seem to kill me and drown me. The output of cold violence around me is like a rebel hanging in the game. They say its impossible. It must be your problem. For what? I cant be innocent.

I was born in a family with domestic violence. My parents seem to be unable to communicate with each other in words. The only way to communicate is to shout and fight. Im sure that my personality has a factor of tyranny, and Im sure that they come from my parentsinfluence on me. But they insist on one thing at the same time. They dont beat their children. We will fall and scold when we are angry, but few of us, they gave me a violent but painless childhood.

(The above is based on comments on Weibo by netizens)

Compared with domestic violence, domestic language violence has a more invisible form of expression. It may occur to varying degrees in every family.

Many times, parents think that a careless cruel words have seriously harmed childrens emotional and psychological health.

Perhaps, in the eyes of many parents, children inevitably make mistakes that need to be corrected by their parents. Why be so affectative? But the correction of the bias of verbal violence is not as good as letting children verify it alone.

Over time, those little effects can become life-long incurable injuries.

Assimilation of words and deeds

When a child is young, his basic knowledge of things basically comes from his parentswords and deeds. Therefore, family language violence is the first language violence that children can come into contact with, and it also has the most profound impact on children.

In the eyes of some parents, the idea that they are the elders and the elders are the first class is deeply rooted, so their words and deeds imperceptibly form this kind of stereotyped thinking for their children. Parents scold children and children scold the next generation, which naturally makes language violence passed down from generation to generation in some families.

Brain development is hampered

As early as 2000, McLean Hospital in Boston, USA, had done a study. Researchers found that 15 adults who had been subjected to verbal violence in childhood had left brain dysplasia or even stagnation, and increased cerebellar vermis blood flow.

Brain neuroscience research has proved that left brain development is closely related to human memory, while cerebellar vermis is related to the regulation of emotion, attention and limbic system.

If parents often speak ill of their young children and use inappropriate words, they will bring great mental pressure to their children, which will cause brain development to be blocked, and there are anxiety, memory disorder and attention deficit symptoms in varying degrees.

Love-lacking extreme personality

Children need love and care when they grow up, which is a kind of gentle and guiding education. However, some parents focus on violent language education and neglect to care for their childrens self-esteem, shame and compassion. In the long run, it will not only affect the relationship between parents and children, but also lead to extreme personality of children.

The radicalism here mainly means that children who grow up in language violence will gradually lose their ability to feel other peoples subtle emotions, their sensitivity to truth and justice, and their conscience will become dull and numb.

Then it starts to become hateful, disgusting, radical.

Whenever someone says that my parents have never beaten me, my first thought is jealousy. Jealousy of their childhood, sunshine, love. And I dont. I dont want to get married and have children. Im afraid Ill be like them. Im afraid my pain will continue on my children.

(The above is based on comments on Weibo by netizens)

3. The image of parents has changed in domestic dramas, and the apology is on the way.

Not apologizing there. Its very appreciated. When I was young, I was very concerned about this. Why did my parents teach me to apologize for doing something wrong? Why did my parents ask me repeatedly if I had done something wrong, and then they would never avoid talking about it. Didnt they realize that they had done something wrong? I cant think of it. Later, slowly learned not to think, many things can not think, as if born like this.

(The above is based on comments on Weibo by netizens)

Sometimes the gap between people is so great that close relatives hurt each other. Now we are beginning to see this gap in the TV series.

In the past, after 60 or 70, parents were heroes, such as Liu Huifang, a kind, selfless and tolerant mother, in the 1990 TV drama Desire. Now, in the eyes of the post-80s and post-90s, parents may be in trouble. For example, Su Daqiang in All Good is a landmark role in the image of father in the domestic dramas.

The image of parents in Chinese dramas seems to change suddenly overnight, which makes people caught off guard. Like All Right, the TV dramas focusing on refined dad and eccentric mom, and on parents are the disaster of the original family seem to be able to see the collapse of patriarchy and the collapse of mothers icon.

Although TV plays always find a perfect balance between cruel reality and remaining hope, those hard-written rounded endings try to cover the bloody wounds in reality.

But we hope that the old wounds that have been torn apart have a strong sense of pain that this discussion must be endlessly raised. Because only in this way can people in isolated islands wait for their parents to say Im sorry.

After that, what about the parents in the eyes of the Post-00 generation? On the surface, we need to watch the domestic dramas in 20 years. In fact, we only need to look at ourselves.

[For more in-depth and interesting parenting content, you are welcome to search for the public number Parents Meeting.)