In theory, no matter how strong it is, people actually feel bad about it.
Men are strong, just like Zhang Fei, a reckless man, but brave men with simple minds. Women are powerful like tigers, full of energy and impersonality, urging people to flee. If one party in the relationship really stays away from the strong, it is not necessarily the fear of the strong, but the disdain for the strong.
The core of strength and disgust lies in momentum. Potential, as a kind of atmosphere in interpersonal interaction, can hold the audiences courage if it is given a speech, but it is like a chilly wind if it is among relatives and friends. As we all know, the attraction of interpersonal relationship lies not in the content of communication, but in the gentle and gentle atmosphere. The momentum of the strong can only arouse the impulse to escape.
So many women who feel that they are superior but always have bad relationships are the result of their ignorance of their disgusting strength. People always choose to either abandon the things they hate actively or separate them passively (such as cold violence).
Hanqi, a blogger, said well: Strength is a terrible word because its so general that it cant tell the other person what you really want.
If you understand that what you really need is:
2. Not covered by my surface, but can sympathize with the complex and subtle emotions behind me, including vulnerability;
3. There are ways to deal with my anger. But this is not a cure for the symptoms. The cure for the root is to understand why the so-called strong is disgusting.
I want to respond to Hanqis words: then, the reason why strong is disgusting is that the strong persons personality is very bad, but she does not know the bad side of her personality. For example, paranoia, sensitivity and fragility are the most typical characteristics of the strong.
On the contrary, strong people will feel self-righteous that they are superior: arrogance of nobody in their eyes, superiority of striving for strength and winning. The former is an exaggeration of narcissism, or conceit; the latter is a controlling defense against inner vulnerability, i.e. fear of being defeated or bullied by others. In a deeper sense, strong is about the same as psychological violence. The momentum is almost an element of resentment. It generally comes from the angry self (or angry children) that has been hurt in the heart. It symbolizes that it originates from the pits in the inner world where the angry children live. They are often emotional, sensitive and misinterpret the voices of the outside world. I dont like myself, I dont like outsiders, and I dont respect myself or others. The strong flavor is clear, and the person is like an energetic attacker. It is said that it is about equal to psychological violence, because such a situation with invisible aggression, swallowing the heart of human compassion, restricting the development of human feelings. When you are with a strong person, you will find that he or she is full of truth, full of firepower, but extremely lack of warmth.
If there are so many women in life who realize that they are not easy to deal with interpersonal relationships, then you can look inside and see if they are suspected of being strong? If so, we can learn the three points mentioned by Hanqi, which is the fundamental solution.