Adults dont have the right to collapse, and they dare not collapse without fear. They have too many people to take care of, too many emotions to take into account, and their own collapse is always at the end of everything. When these things are handled properly, they will have no strength to collapse.
I have met many adults who are on the verge of collapse. They eventually choose calm, not strong control, but because there are people behind them, or no one, so they can only say the three understated words, and then continue to live like normal people.
01 Im fine.
I saw a movie once. My husband lost his job, but he got up every morning as usual to avoid worrying his family. Someone found out that he was in a bad mood and asked him what was wrong. He smiled and said, Im all right.
This is not like you and me in ordinary life, in fact, every day countless moments feel that they can not afford to go on, but in the face of relatives, friends, strangers who want to care about themselves, will still laugh and say: Im okay. Nobody knows what they are for, whether to protect themselves or others.
You have to remember that when you ask someone, Are you okay and the other person answers, Im okay, thats actually something. If you ask this question, he says, What with a blank face, thats really okay.
Nevertheless, please do not be pessimistic, the cost of growing up is the increase of worry, which everyone will encounter, but there will not be too many obstacles that can not be overcome, many times, as long as you bite your teeth, you can see the sun tomorrow.
Just like the popular Meet Happiness. After graduation from Open University, Zhan cant find a job. He eats a meal, a loaf of bread and a bottle of water every day. He smiles and says Im OK in the face of the concern of the aunt and father in the shop. But she persisted in going to the interview on a very dusty day, and finally succeeded. It was really great to see herself in the mirror with a tearful smile.
In fact, adults just hold on for a moment when they feel they cant keep up, and then they step up to a new level. You know, how much you can carry, how much you can achieve.
02 I want to be alone.
When my girlfriends father died, we rushed to her house as soon as we received the phone call. There were many people sitting in the room. Someone comforted her to cry until she could not. Someone was preparing for the aftermath.
Because her father died suddenly, so their mother and daughter did not have any psychological preparation, at this moment, I believe her sky is falling.
She sat there quietly, and none of us dared speak. Suddenly, she went into the room and whispered, I want to be alone.
We stopped those relatives who said, Kid, you need to be strong, you dont do silly things. At this moment, who is qualified to ask her to be strong?
There was no sound in the room, and we were anxiously guarding the door. Before long, she came out, her eyes were a little red, but her mood was calm. She said, Im all right. Thank you. Im going to deal with the next thing.
From that moment on, she didnt cry any more, but dealt with everything calmly, not as well as her age. I loved her for being so strong, but she said, Its my responsibility.
Yes, the father suddenly left, the mother chose to collapse, she as the only child, can only choose strong, this is a single-choice topic.
In our life, there are too many moments when we have no choice. As adults, we have only the right to sit still for a moment. After that, we must breathe deeply, let the smile return to our face, and pretend to be indifferent to everyone.
When we grow up, we have too many identities, maybe husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, bosses... So we have to take good care of our families, be responsible for our team partners, and our emotions can only be put in the last place.
But oh, isnt this life? Who didnt come here like this? Take time to break down, you can, life is still a long way to go, we must look forward, move forward.
03 I want to live for myself once
I want to live for myself once. We lost the right and courage to say that from what age. Some people say that we came to this world to live for others. It sounds very tired, doesnt it?
I think its very realistic. In real life, if someone does this, they will be attacked by everyone. Thats what my girlfriend and former colleague did. Ten years ago, we worked together, I transferred, and she resigned. She told me that she didnt want to go nine to five like this again and live the life she liked.
So she traveled, worked in a coffee shop, became a teacher, and did a lot of things she wanted to do. I think she is happy because she is not living for others every minute and every second. However, many people around her accuse her of being irresponsible, saying that she did not take the responsibility, saying that she was too selfish.
She did not understand why it was wrong to follow the path of most people. Why is it so difficult for adults to live for themselves once?
Although she did what we all wanted to do, she failed to break through the shackles of secularity. We must admit that no one can really live an island. Adults can live for anyone, but they have no right to live for themselves.
But ah, please dont be pessimistic, as Ma Dong said in Qi Hua Shuo that there are many bitter people in my heart, as long as a little sweet can be filled up. To believe that there are still many small fortunes in our life, we do not have to give up everything to live for ourselves, in life to find some happiness, is also a good choice.
In the world of adults, there is no such option as collapse. Everyone needs to be careful and sad, to recover silently, and then to return to normal in the shortest possible time.
Is it sad? I feel very sad.
But ah, you have to believe that the real despair of life is not many, most of the time when you feel unable to sustain, it will rain and clear again if you insist on it, although many times it is not really sad, just think its over.
But thats hope, isnt it? If you have people on the edge of collapse, remember to give him more care and space. May everyone continue to work hard in the future, be gentle and strong, and live in the sun.
I am Xiyan, a columnist, an old girl who is neither old nor old. I like to write warm words and do emotional programs. I have published The rest of your life is related to me. If you have a story, remember to come to me.