Dont forget to say to the teacher: Happy holidays!
In order to set off the festive atmosphere, Xiaobian presents Rap on Teachers Day here.
When the Chinese teacher turned around, there was a free Yellow Crane Tower. Mathematics teacher turns around, quadratic function symmetry axis.
The biology teacher turns around and swims in the babys water. When the chemistry teacher turned around, carbon dioxide changed into gasoline.
The physics teacher turned around and pried the earth with a pole. When the PE teacher turned around, Kobe played table tennis instead.
When the English teacher turned around, sorry added three grams of oil. When political teachers turn around, material determines stream of consciousness.
Also today, Ma Yun chose to retire. He will officially resign as chairman of Alibaba Board of Directors.
Yesterday, it was father Mas last day at work. He was happy to see him, just like a child.
Hum, say good together 996, but you retired first.
However, Ma Yuns retirement life is not dancing and playing sword in the park.
His retirement is also the end, but also the beginning: the end is he unloaded the burden of his body, the beginning is the identity change. It is said that he will return to education and help the development of rural culture in China.
Half a lifetime away, return is still teacher Ma.
No wonder I retired on Teachers Day. It was here that I laid my foreshadows.~
Retirement is impossible.
Besides the teacher, you may not know that Ma Yun has at least 12 identities!
Hangzhou Lao, Ali 001 employee, founder of Ma Yun Public Welfare Foundation, United Nations consultant... Of course, there is another important identity - my creditor.
Dont really think about it. Can you help me return the Huachou arrears to zero?
There are five sources of happiness for contemporary girls: express delivery, milk tea, star chase, cats and melons.
Lets talk about buy, buy first.
Thats right. When people are bored in the dead of night, girls always like to open Taobao and cut themselves.
At this time, most men gather on social platforms to try to find a partner, but they dont know that at the same time, most girls gather on shopping platforms.
So tell you not to waste time at night, to go to bed early, go to bed early, go to bed early!
Besides drinking milk tea:
The reason why Xiaobian is thin is that my consumption degradation is directly reflected in drinking milk tea:
Last year, on average, two cups a week.
In the first half of this year, one cup a month.
The second half of the year was even worse. This was the first cup.
And obesity is the pain of breathing...
Just a few days after the beginning of school, a male classmate of a university in Nantong, Jiangsu, was too fat to move on the ladder when he got out of bed because he was stuck in his leg by the bed ladder. After the firefighters arrived, they had no choice but to cut off the ladder pedal and rescue the trapped students by manpower pulling.
Ladder: Im too south!
The students leave slip for the day may be as follows: Teacher, I cant come to class today, as for the reason... Ask the firemans brother.
I wonder if he will make up his mind to lose weight after such a wave of manipulation.
Do you know the difference between you and the stars?
Stars shine, you just get fat.
However, fat is not fat in fact so-called, happy is the most important!
Sometimes eating can decompress, not eating is not happy, not happy for a long time on depression, once depressed, can no longer be eating can solve.
WHO reports that 800,000 people worldwide choose to commit suicide every year, equivalent to one person committing suicide every 40 seconds. However, many tragedies can actually be avoided!
If it doesnt work, maybe you can try cats?
Although the cat is good, it can no longer satisfy some of the fighting nations.
Want a lion? Three at a time.
A lioness gave birth to three lovely baby lions at the zoo in Rafah, Gaza. These lion babies are with the lioness at certain times of the day and are cared for by zookeepers for the rest of the day.
In other words, if animals like chickens, ducks and fish can tell the history of their species, human beings will become the most evil villain in history. (blender remlin)
But who can imagine that we shouted Eat chicken all day long, but now chicken cant eat.
Uh huh? Isnt this really the news chicken wrote for self-help?
Chicken can cause cancer, pork has plague, beef can not afford to eat, fish ban period, rabbits love too much, ducks also rise in price, pigeons are too complementary, snakes are too scared! Vegetables are pesticides and genetically modified!
Expert, can you tell me directly what else to eat?
Expert: Listen to me, dont eat anything, this problem need not be discussed, a persons say, empty stomach can not eat, listen to me!
I personally think that chicken can be eaten for fear of anything. Anyway, human beings will die if they eat food or not.
Fugitive: Food really cant be disappointed. Youre on the way, and youre willing to grab it. BTW, can you let me finish this hairy stomach?
Fat Editor: Class A wanted criminals have girlfriends, and Im still a single dog eating hot pot alone, I decided to smoke a sister in the comments today to invite me to eat hot pot!
Actually, theres nothing to envy when a fraudster has a girlfriend, and this girlfriend is a victim too.
Maybe its a grandmother in the late seventies...
Recently, a 70-year-old woman in Shanghai came to the bank with 80,000 yuan in cash and said she wanted to send money to her husband. But strangely, she checked the Wechat repeatedly even for the other partys name and other information. Grandma said that the husband is actually his online boyfriend, the other party on weekdays to her shush, chill and warm. Finally, under the persuasion of many bank staff and police, the old man realized that he had been cheated.
The world is too crazy. In July, Grandma has an online husband? Su Daqiang, female version? Everyone knows the general principles. Small emotions are hard to control. They just love to lose their reason.
This story tells us: love regardless of age, but we must protect ourselves (money) well (bag).
Whose money did not come in the gale?
Well! Dont tell me, the wind can really blow money!
Yesterday, Shishi, Fujian Province, suddenly dropped a large amount of 100 yuan cash over the downtown area! Passers-by and past drivers rushed to the scene, causing minor traffic congestion. At present, the local police have intervened in the investigation.
Look at Xiaobian Im so heartbeat, I hate that I didnt bring a vacuum cleaner to the scene quickly.
I dont know my sky, when can I come to such a bunch of 100 yuan cash?
Who doesnt want the money delivered to your door?
How unwise is it to give up two million dollars in vain?
Grandpa, please open your eyes and look down.
Oh, it turned out that the girls disliked the 2 million break-up fee for too little, and threw away the whole box of cash...
Two girls and a man in a bar in Hangzhou had an argument and left a suitcase after they left. Employees found that the box was too heavy and unstable. When they fell and popped it open, they found that it was full of 100 yuan bills.
Bar staff alerted the police, and then the parties came to claim, both of them are only in their 20s. It turned out that the man and the girl broke up, and the girl asked him for 5 million yuan to break up. He took only 2 million yuan and gave it away, but the girl didnt, and then left.
Other peoples 20 years old - falling in love with a star, looking down on 2 million... I feel painful losing 10 yuan. Is that the gap?
Small money, if not needed, can be donated to useful people, brain is also...
Yukio Taniguchi, a cashier in Tokyo, Japan, was arrested.
The reason is that he has a memorable memory. When a customer pays with a credit card, he takes the opportunity to write down the customers credit card information, including the card number, valid date and security code. Then he steals the credit card to meet the living expenses and make profits. He steals 1300 credit cards from customers.
What a genius brain it is! This intelligence quotient is used on the right road, its excellent and explosive!!!
Unlike me, I turned around and forgot where to put my cell phone. Several times, I left my cell phone on the checkout counter at the convenience store...
Not much money, not much compensation, thats me.
When it comes to making money, we have to break it up.
At breakfast time, Mr. Yu quietly disclosed to me that he had recently found a quick way to make money. I expressed my disbelief and argued for it for a long time.
He said that American media Business Insider excavated seven things that money-makers never buy:
1. New cars
2. Renting a new car
4. Credit card payment
5. luxury goods
6. Fast fashion clothes and luxury weddings
Can you believe that???
I avoided these seven things perfectly, but why still have nothing, not to mention the luxury wedding, I even have the possibility of holding a wedding... Forget it. Tell me where my wife got it first.
If my parents put their efforts on themselves, I would have been a rich second generation.
So todays summary is still: no wealth.
Its not the worst. Ive been used to it for so many years.
Little Mermaid is the first to expose rice and make up photos! Halle Baileys Ellie went ashore and put on her princesss dress!
This is Disneyremark based on the animated version, and the comments on the Internet are unprecedented harmony:
2. Girls are beautiful but not suitable for acting as Ariel.
3. I dont discriminate against race, but its not Ariel.
4. Go back to the water!
To tell you the truth, I havent been so frightened by Disneys announcement for so long... I think its reasonable to turn into a bubble. The Prince and another princess live happily and happily.
As for the little mermaid, dear, the advice here is not to go ashore after deep dive.
The water of the sea, my tears, Disney does not understand my heartbreak.
This is not the most exotic work yet.
Okamoto of Japan is doing something again! Can you believe that the new condom has Ukiyo paintings on it?
Ukiyo condom, the exclusive Memorial area for the 2020 Tokyo Olympic Games.
I dont know whos in the mood when I see this. Maybe... This is the legendary spiritual + physical double contraception method? Do you want to try?
I dont know how hard the students in military training were fighting for rain.
Its raining a lot today. I suspect its the military training that made it late for rain. So...
Thats all for today. See you tomorrow.~
Last issue answer UP:
Lets talk about it!
Who do you admire more about the two friends of Tucao?
Money is what you want, but good looks are not what you want.
(All column content recommendations are extracted from the wisdom of netizens, only for the purpose of transmitting information, does not represent the official voice of Netease. )
Source: Easy Moment Studio Responsible Editor: Shi Tian_NBJ10956