Details show peoples character, trifles show peoples hearts: Men who do these trifles well should not.

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 Details show peoples character, trifles show peoples hearts: Men who do these trifles well should not.


Such a word is used in the feelings of modern society. From the surface of the word, it can be seen that it is the state of two people who have a big value gap when they fall in love together. Because people of equal value do not need to kneel and lick.

Intimate relationship is an equal relationship, which is not only the equality of external conditions, but also the equality of spiritual level.

The more equal a relationship is, the longer it will last. On the contrary, it will be difficult to last.

Since there is kneeling and licking in a relationship, it means that there is a huge gap between the two people in terms of external conditions or psychological level.

Low-value people who want to be with high-value people will naturally pay more, because they can be with each other in this way, otherwise they can not get such a relationship.

For example: whether its sunny or rainy, buy breakfast for girls every day, pick them up and take them to work every day, often promise them some unreasonable requests, even drive hundreds of kilometers, give them cold medicine and so on, but these are all minor matters.

We can imagine a picture of someone who wants to talk big business with the big boss. If the other side is also a considerable boss, maybe they can talk about the plan and cooperation directly, because they have the same strength in all aspects. As long as the two sides have no doubt about the plan, the business can be concluded soon.

But if an ordinary person does not have too much strength, to talk business with the big boss, because the strength gap is too big, the big boss is also difficult to trust his ability, then it is difficult for him to achieve cooperation in a normal way.

If you say this person, know what the big boss has a special preference. For example, he likes to drink tea. The average person may try to get some rare good tea to please him, hoping to get the business.

If all the big tea bosses like it, the person will surely keep sending it.

In the eyes of outsiders, these behaviors seem to be an abnormal cooperative relationship. As fools can see, they are far too different in strength.

Because there is no real strength to talk and cooperate with others, we can only get this opportunity through small favors.

It can be understood that kneeling and licking is equal to climbing high.

Its hard to maintain a relationship by kneeling and licking. Because it takes a lot of time and energy for an ordinary person to insist on doing something, which is not easy for him.

If the boy suddenly does not pay, the relationship can not be balanced, nor can it last long.

If boys pay more than normal for a long time, they will not have much time and energy to improve their real ability, which is a vicious circle.

On the one hand, emotions need to be paid all the time, on the other hand, he also hopes that the status of emotions can be improved, of course, physical and mental exhaustion. This is also common in feelings, the reason why the kneeling and licking side will voluntarily give up feelings.

Many girls will be very wronged at this time do not understand, clearly you do some small things, I did not let you buy a house and car, why so reluctant, but also break up.

2. Reasons for girlsobsession with kneeling and licking

A boy who is willing to kneel and lick will spend a lot of time doing little things to move girls. This greatly satisfies the vanity of girls, feeling that they are the best girls in the world and deserve to be treated like this by a person.

At the same time, she also promised her unreasonable demands, which greatly satisfied the girls capriciousness, but also favored the girl as the princess queen. At this time, the girls subconscious will feel that such a boy is loyal and will not change his mind.

We usually guess big things from small things. A man who can be so attentive to small things is sure to be right about big things. Then we feel like we have met someone who can be entrusted to us for life. Although he did not like him at first, his persistence moved him.

Girls will also feel that a persistent person is definitely dedicated and worthy of dependence, so we will be easily moved by the persistence of these boys. This is also believed to be the reason why most girls accept kneeling lickers.

3. Enjoying kneeling and licking will degrade us

Girls in such feelings, accurately say what did not get, just empty joy. Not only weakened their own advantages, but also added many wrong emotional requirements and standards.

Many small things clearly can be done by themselves, but they are handed over to boys to do for themselves, mistakenly thinking that emotions should be like this.

In the consultation, a girl said that she liked eating water chestnut very much, but never peeled it. All the boys helped peel it, and no one peeled it.

When I said this, my voice was full of pride and pride.

In her twenties, she enjoys the advantages of being young and beautiful, gender and age, so she is accustomed to the way boys treat herself.

When she was older and her personality had not changed much, these gender advantages disappeared. Finally, at the age of 34, she chose a boy who was not as good as herself in all aspects, but was willing to strip the water chestnut for her and married him wrongly.

But why do you say that?

She is a 168-year-old girl with beautiful appearance, working in a large enterprise and good family conditions.

Why marry such a boy?

Because this boy is very kind to her when chasing her, and is willing to do something to make him happy. As long as the girl loses her temper, he apologizes voluntarily. But after a long time, he begins to be reluctant to do so. Even after quarrelling, he does not take the initiative to coax her. But because the girl feels she is old and pregnant carelessly, she does not take the initiative to coax her. You have to get married.

With her advantage, she can find a better person, but she chooses to enjoy the small favors in her feelings, so other aspects can only be done.

After a period of kneeling and licking, a girl will easily be greedy for the care of the other side, and continue to choose a boy who is not as good as herself, thus falling into the feeling of kneeling and licking.

As we get older and younger, our gender advantage becomes smaller and younger, and the conditions of people willing to kneel and lick become worse and worse, we will be farther and farther away from true happiness.

Happy couples who have met a lot of successful kneeling and licking and finally got married are not very happy. In such marriages, boys are not as good as girls, and they are not confident. They are more likely to cheat on a girl who is willing to worship him.

In the relationship between strong women and weak men, mens natural desire to conquer is suppressed, and they have to be the humble and flattering side all the time. This will make them have a lot of negative emotions in their hearts.

In such a marriage, men are also very difficult to succeed, and the depressive mood generated by being in a humble state will affect the normal performance of their work.

4. How to change the emotional mode of kneeling and licking?

If you want to change this emotional pattern, you need to understand that a good relationship is one that pays for each other and appreciates each other.

Love is a responsibility, but also a capacity.

Only when two emotions are happy, will they be willing to pay and bear together.

If two people can appreciate each other, they must have their own strengths and equal value. Therefore, it is important to have a clear understanding of each others conditions.

1) Know your strengths and weaknesses

We can take a piece of paper and write down our advantages, such as height, stature, major, educational background, family background, age, personality, facial value, etc. We should know what our own conditions are.

2) Standards for partners

According to our own conditions, we list what conditions we want to match the opposite sex, such as height, weight, occupation, income and so on. If there are any other special conditions, we also need to write them down clearly.

3) Describe the ideal feelings

We must combine our own conditions to write standards for our partners.

For example: I hope the boy can cook for himself when we live together. Or two people can do a lot of things together, which requires two people to have many common interests and hobbies and so on.

4) Setting the Bottom Line of Love

Why do we need to write the conditions of love so clearly?

Everyone has different requirements for their spouse, and we dont have to worry about finding the right person.

In the vast crowd, we just need to find a person to spend the rest of our life, do not worry about not finding. On the contrary, with clear requirements, it will be easier to find the right person in the crowd.

Some girls care about height, some about work, some about academic qualifications, regardless of our conditions, it does not matter, there is no right or wrong.

Written out of these conditions, we need to think clearly in advance, why we choose this requirement, think about the reasons in advance, in order to help us select more suitable people in the time of selection.

Finally, remind all girls to find a boyfriend, its best to find one that can make themselves a little worshipful, such feelings for a longer time.

For kneeling lickers, we should not be greedy for these small favors. Although the process of change is painful, especially to change a pattern, which requires persistence and timing, the happiness after change is incalculable.

Love has infinite potential. You never know how your life will change if you love this person. So choose carefully, love carefully and harvest your happy life.

Author | Miao Tang holds the National Vocational Qualification Certificate of Second-level Psychological Counselor, the appraiser of Guangzhou Psychological Counselor, the member of Guangzhou Psychological Counselor Association, the Standing Committee of Nursing of Guangzhou Resident Health Management Association, and the community public welfare counselor.