Why dont people make friends now?

 Why dont people make friends now?

People who love to make friends have reasons.

A few years ago, we talked about how annoying it was to brush the screen every day. If a person had too many friends, he would be disliked. In a twinkling of an eye, the wind turned into, Why, have you closed your circle of friends?

According to the Social Networking Industry Report of 2019, 30.5% of users have reduced the frequency of their original content circles.

On August 20, 2016, Hefei held the first Friends Circle Festival in East China. DJ created an atmosphere on the stage. 5000 people turned off their mobile phones for 2 hours at the same time. The huge amount of energy occupied by the circle of friends has made many people want to close the circle of friends.

Why were we so keen on making friends before? Probably because it can help us create a positive image.

For example, if we know that a woman named Li Jie is a van driver or that a boy named Yang Ce has cool hairstyles, how would we guess them?

Most people will think that Li Jie is a married, middle-aged woman with children, and her life is not rich. Yang Ce is a young, trendy man who often mingles with the bars in Sanlitun.

Wharton Business School has done a similar test. Researchers gave only names and a piece of information, and asked hundreds of people to guess how old they were, whether they had children, and how their lives were. Many people could easily associate more information. In fact, it is because people are easy to guess the identity and image of others from the details.

The world in Black Mirror is like the circle of friends now. We are trying to create the most perfect self in the eyes of others. We will guess more information about others according to some characteristics.

American sociologist Goffman has an interesting metaphor. He compares life to a stage. There are two kinds of metaphors: front-stage and behind-the-scenes. People perform vigorously in front of the stage, hoping to present an image that meets expectations, while behind the scenes is real life [4].

You may have a friend who spends months in a circle of friends showing off the beauty of global tourism while others are struggling to move bricks. Its easy for outsiders to assume that he doesnt care about his work and that he has family property to inherit.

But its probably true that he chose to go out to relax because he didnt find a job and was so anxious that he couldnt sleep every day. Why only hair scenery does not send self-portrait, it may also be because the hairline retreats, beauty can not be saved back.

On February 26, 2019, tourists participating in Haikou tourism experience activities are looking for angles to upload self-portraits and share their lives with friends. Before publishing the circle of friends, most people will carefully repair the drawings and select the copyright. In the circle of friends, everyone is the most perfect.

Many studies have confirmed that displaying positive impressions is one of the most important goals of our social media activities.

Zhang Hua showed her love in the circle of friends. Li Ping wrote a new quotation of chicken soup. I sent a self-portrait of Aidou wax figure to show myself.

But this circle of friends is getting more and more immobile.

The density of friends in the circle of friends is too low.

Simply, you want to show yourself through the circle of friends, if you know that you are really showing a positive image.

For example, if you punch in a gourmet restaurant at night, your friends will think that you have a lot of money in your life, but what will the boss who is working overtime think? What would Party A think if you delayed it? Whats more, what does a fitness coach think?

When we face different groups, we should use different ways of performing image management. But on the Internet, these people all get together to see your circle of friends, so what to do, simply do not send the circle of friends.

Many people take great pains to maintain their Internet image, especially in the circle of friends. They are not very familiar friends. I am afraid everyone has the idea of must not be humiliated.

In fact, as early as 2016, a survey by the China Youth Daily found that 35.8% of people wanted to close their circle of friends, and 13.8% of them had closed [2]. Not only Wechat, but now Facebook users are increasingly reluctant to share their life details and opinions.

This phenomenon is called contextcollapse because the boundaries between private and public spheres are blurred.

Weve heard a lot of troubles about sending out a circle of friends.

On March 29, 2018, in Mudanjiang, Heilongjiang Province, an online anchor bought several mobile phones to communicate directly with his fans to add more Wechat friends. But the more friends Wechat has, the more careful it is to speak.

For example, in 2015, a masters degree student in the History College of the peoples Congress, he was only in the circle of his friends, but his tutor was very unhappy, and announced that he wanted to break off the relationship between teachers and students [8].

Another bride in Chongqing invited her colleagues when she got married. As a result, only one leader and colleague representative came to the department, bringing together 18 colleagues to pay 1314 yuan. The bride felt aggrieved and sent out a circle of friends. Although she shielded her colleagues, it was still known by many people on news [9].

Nowadays, the circle of friends is no longer the circle of friends.

According to the 2018 Wechat report, compared with 2015, the number of friends in the address book per capita is 110%[10]. More than one fifth of micro-credit users have 201 to 500 friends, and 10% of users have more than 500 friends, but less than 40% of users only communicate with friends of less than 10 people per week [1].

In such a circle, where can you rest assured to say the truth?

Dont worry about self-portraits, but there are few people in the circle of friends who may really interact with each other. Send photos of yourself for two hours, add five deletions and carefully write half an hours copy, send them to the circle of friends, the result is only the name of AAA microbusinessmen and rental intermediaries give you some praise, there is more frustrating than that?

If you cant understand the frustration, think about the mood when you go out with your makeup carefully and your friend stands you up.

Friendship circle can not be sent, let alone do not want to send

Whats more, we may find that the circle of friends that we thought were our own territory has long since ceased to belong to us.

The social networking industry report in 2019 found that not everyone has reduced their circle of friends, and that 30.6% of people have made more circles of friends because of their job needs.

The company has an anniversary advertisement that lets you write and forward the plan. Do you send it? Bosss children want to run for the most germinating baby, send voting links into the group, call on everyone to forward, you cant turn around? Friends write new media soft text is still 9,000 reading capacity to 10,000, let you help send a circle of friends, do you help?

Essena ONeill, a European INSS blockbuster, once lived a life that many people envied: traveling everyday, shopping with friends, enjoying delicious food, living in a luxurious apartment... but one day she suddenly issued a statement to withdraw from the internet. We try our best to show our perfect side in social media, but in order to maintain this false perfection, it takes thousands of times of hard work. / Why on earth should I quit social media

For example, Xiao He, who works in Chongqing, would never have thought that besides completing his work in the office every day, he would bring the work to his circle of friends.

As soon as there is an activity, she will send a warm-up message of the activity in the circle of friends, not only that, but also to the family and friends, and send a red envelope for you to help forward. If the number of forwards and points of praise of the activity information is not enough, the company will deduct her money [11].

From December 15 to 16, 2018, in Beijing, Abu is taking pictures of his dolls and uploading them to the circle of friends. In fact, many young parents who have just had children do the same. They certainly prefer to sun their babies rather than work information.

You think the circle of friends is where you interact with your friends, but in the eyes of some bosses, its the companys card puncher and billboard. If you dont actively forward information about your company, you can be labeled as not loving your job.

Even what circle of friends do not have freedom, then what circle of friends can be issued?

Even if you dont meet a boss like this, its getting harder and harder for you to find resonance in your circle of friends.

We send pictures in our circle of friends. We always want to hear good beauty instead of P is a bit over; in the circle of friends, tyranny (remember group), I always hope that good sisters will be able to pick up melon seeds and Tucao in the commentary area instead of others defending the bosss tyranny. I also hope that we can have a rational discussion instead of greeting the whole family.

In his speech, the designer of Facebooks Praise Button said that Praise Culture allows people to focus too much on creating perfect themselves on the Internet, forgetting the beauty of reality. / Reflections on Praise Culture

We used to love the circle of friends because we could find resonance with people. Because I feel the same thing, through the sharing of the circle of friends, friendship is further [3].

Human joys and sorrows are not the same. There are few people who want to see your circle of friends.


[1] Aurora Big Data: Social Networking Industry Research Report 2019.

[2] Wang Xianxuan. Psychological motivation of discarded users of Weixin Friendship Circle [J]. Media, 2017 (10): 65-69.

[3] Jonah Berger. Contagious: WhyThingsCatchOn. Simon & Schuster (2013), New York: Simon & Schuster.

[5] The New York Times Customer Insight Group. 2017. The Psychology of Sharing: What Does PeopleShare Online?

Liu Yanyi. Behavior Analysis of Impression Management in Weixin Friendship Circle [J]. Press, 2015 (03): 58-61+66.

(function () {(window. slotbydup = window. slotbydup | []). push ({id:6374560, container:ssp_6374560, size:300,250, display:inlay-fix, async: true});} (); [7] Huang Ying. Context resolution, privacy boundary and the right not to connect to the Internet: a qualitative study of lost users in the circle of friends [J]. Press, 2018 (04): 72-79. [8] Meixin. 2015. Sun Jiazhou, a professor at the College of History of the National Peoples Congress, announced that he had severed his relationship with a freshman student and denounced his fanatics. [9] Eighteen colleagues joined together to pay 1314 yuan for the bride: Isnt that bullying? 2018. Chongqing Morning Post. [10] Wechat 2018 Data Report. [11] Why did the circle of friends of employees be requisitioned by the company. [12] Beijing Youth Daily. [12] When was the circle of friends dismissed, and when was the circle of friends appraised. 2018. Red Net. Source: Author of Netease Wave Studio: Lu Ming Responsible Editor: Zhang Fan_NB11001

[7] Huang Ying. Context Resolution, Privacy Boundary and the Right to Not Connect: A Qualitative Study of Lost Users in Friendship Circle [J]. Press, 2018 (04): 72-79.

[8] Peng Mei News. 2015. Sun Jiazhou, a professor at the College of History of the National Peoples Congress, announced that he had severed his relationship with a freshman student and denounced his fanatics.

[9] Eighteen colleagues joined up to pay 1314 yuan for the bride: Isnt that bullying? 2018. Chongqing Morning Post.

[10] Wechat 2008 data report.

[11] Why is the employees circle of friends requisitioned by the company? 2019. Beijing Youth Daily.

[12] The circle of friends was dismissed, when did the circle of friends appraise. 2018. Red Net.