Dear, Loving tells you that women in love can also take the initiative, provided that these three

 Dear, Loving tells you that women in love can also take the initiative, provided that these three

We are all girls eager for love. We all want to be with people we like. We all want to be able to pursue our own happiness. So even if we are not her, we can learn how to love and seize happiness in her.


Tongnians expression of love is very direct and enthusiastic. There is no excessive pretension and disguise, nor any entanglement. He wants to do whatever he wants.

For example, she spent several nights making software for HanShang Dian, just for each other to like.

For example, she would not hesitate to rush to Sanya from Shanghai because of the Korean business language, in order to get along with him for two days.

For example, she would readily agree because Han Shangyan admitted that she was his girlfriend, regardless of the facts.

But some girls worry about it. Doesnt it mean that women cant be too active? If a woman takes the initiative more, the man will not know how to cherish.

As a result, many girls will hide their like each other mentality, afraid of being known by the other side, afraid that if the other side knows, they will not value themselves, even if they are together later, in this relationship, their own pattern will be inferior, lose the initiative, and become frustrated.

So, from the very beginning, I disguised myself, pretended that I liked it as I did not like it, and pretended that I didnt need it, but in fact I was very entangled.

Like one of my visitors, they are in a long-distance relationship. Almost every day they have two hours of video calls. But one day, when she was in a bad mood and wanted the company and comfort of each other, she did not say it, hoping that the other could perceive it. However, the other party was too tired and busy at work. If she wanted to have an early rest, she went to bed and said good night to her.

Afterwards, she was very angry. She hid in the room and cried. She felt that the other party didnt care about herself at all. She didnt care about her feelings at all. She felt that the other party didnt love herself.

The next morning, she broke out and had a quarrel with her boyfriend because her boyfriend didnt say good morning in time.

But in fact, she could be bold enough to express her inner needs and let the other party know. I believe that the other party is very willing to comfort and accompany her, so that there is no need to hide their needs for the company of others, nor to cry alone in that sad.

In emotions, it is very important to be consistent in words and deeds. If we can express our inner happiness, sadness, anger and other emotions reasonably as Tongnian did, without affectation, concealment or so many entangled thoughts, then we can be comfortable in front of him. In this way, we are a living person, and others will know what we need and what we should give.

At the same time, they can also make each other feel that they are loved and needed at all times.


Accept each other

To love a person is not only to love the part we like, but to accept the whole of the other person, including what we dont like, because he is a complete person, and it is impossible for all points to meet our preferences.

Han Shang Yan told Tong Nian that he had a bad face, bad temper, and had no time to accompany him throughout the year. He didnt know how to be romantic. What would he like?

But Tong Nian told him that you are good everywhere, and I can accept all of you.

Because Tong Nian knows very well that no one is perfect, she likes Korean business talk. Yan Value is high in Korean business, persistent dream is Korean business, responsible is Korean business, champion dream is Korean business.

But many of us just want to keep one side of the other and abandon the other. As for which side to keep and which to abandon, it depends entirely on our own preferences.

For example, I just want the talented side of his work, not the side that he is not free to accompany me; I just want the handsome side of him.

Then we will impose our will on the other side, hoping that the other side will change as we expect.

For example, you should call me at the first time after work, you must quit smoking, you cant play games like this all the time, and so on. Maybe these needs are reasonable. The focus of the problem is not these things themselves, but the mentality that we want the other party to obey. This is not to help each other grow, but to tell each other that you have no other freedom and must obey my orders.

Therefore, when the other party disobeys these orders, we will feel angry and angry, which is actually out of the matter itself, that is to say, we are not angry at the other party smoking, or playing games, but angry that the other party can not become what we want.

But the problem is, before he met us, he was such a person. He will not change because of our preferences. We cant cut this person into two pieces.

So we have to dare to ask ourselves, we have a lot of shortcomings that we cant stand. Why is the one I like perfect?

In fact, allowing your own imperfections is the beginning of accepting each other.

Maybe someone will ask, dont I like these aspects, the other side will never need to change it? Of course not. If he loved us, it would be enough to let him know that these aspects would make us feel uncomfortable. He would naturally be willing to change for us. As for how much he could change, it would vary from person to person and from our feelings.

If he changes, not because of who we are, but because he loves us.

Like the Korean business talk in the play, with the support of Tong Nian, the two people support each other and finally realize their dream of winning the world championship.


Know how to pay

In the play, Tong Nian gave his New Years money, the money that won prizes in ordinary competitions and the money that participated in the activities to Han Shangdan. Of course, this is not to encourage people to give their money to their favorite people, but I see that she does not spare any time to pay, it is moving.

But in everyday life, there are some people who pay conditionally, must be equal and have a return.

For example, the common thinking is, I love you, you must love me; I am good to you, you must be good to me, and the standard of love is set by me.

This part of the person in the relationship is often careful, afraid of being hurt, dare not love, or only to see the other side pay, they are willing to pay.

After all these years, Ive earned money and brought up my own children, what has he really paid for?

I feel very sad inside, a relationship, if the other party did not pay, can it last 12 years?

Pay not only depends on the financial cost, if we invite each other to have a meal, we pay the money, and get the time and companionship of each other.

If we give emotions, when we complain hysterically, what we get is mutual tolerance and compromise.

If we give energy and thought, we get satisfaction and affirmation from the other side. Even if the other side doesnt give back, we have a sense of worth doing it.

For example, on our birthday, we want a lipstick as a gift, but when the other party gives us a bunch of flowers or cooks a meal, we may not be happy, but it does not mean that the other party did not pay.

Everyone expresses love in different ways. As long as we can understand, we can see othersefforts and understand each others love.

Like Tong Nianyis unreflecting efforts are very brave, but it does not mean that we all have to pay one by one. We can follow the following three principles to pay:

1) I would like to

2) within ones power

3) No return

Based on this foundation, it is easy for others to accept our efforts and be comfortable with us.

The whole network is chasing boyfriend, I think it is very happy to have such a boyfriend, but I think that HanShang Yan is very lucky to meet Tong Nian. I saw a happy and loving Tong Nian. Hope you can also learn to love, understand love, meet your own honey true love.

Author | Cherypin Practical Emotional Counselor