Ive seen the worst mode of interpersonal communication ever. Its looking at your face and acting on your face!

 Ive seen the worst mode of interpersonal communication ever. Its looking at your face and acting on your face!

Open your mouth and borrow 500,000 yuan!

One reason is that she wants to buy a house and pay for it in lump sum.

The second reason is that I heard that my book sells well and should be very rich, so I borrowed it from you.

It can be said that so much money is probably all my savings!

When a professor punished me for distributing and supporting teaching, she was an accomplice.

Sure enough, her intonation began to get worse, citing various reasons:

She: You dont lend me money. I have to pay the bank a lot of interest, you know?

Me: Yes, but what does that have to do with me?

She: So many years of colleagues, in my most difficult time, you are so indifferent. Are you ashamed?

Me: But when I was teaching, I didnt see you to console me.

She: If you do that again, Ill turn my face over!

This sentence is my most doubtful point - you never seem to give me a good face, is this face has not been turned over?

So I hung up.

Shortly afterwards, a gentleman spoke in the river and lake: A Miao is a person who cant look at his face. Sooner or later, he will fall behind.

It is said that the listeners next to them think so.

Actually, I think they all misunderstood one thing.

The so-called learn to look at the face in Chinese traditional culture is to tell you.

In the case of inconvenience, judge the current form of enemy or foe according to the expression of others.

Even now when high school Chinese teachers interpret Hongmen Banquet, they always say that Xiang Yu is a self-starved person who cant understand Fan Zengs face and persistently let Liu Bang go, finally losing the world.

Xiang Yus release of Liu Bang at that time was a very correct choice.

Sima Qian has explained the reasons in detail in Xiangyu Benji:

King Xiang and Fan Zengdoubted that Pei Gong had already explained and violated the contract. They were afraid that the princes would betray them. They conspired to say that Ba and Shu Road were dangerous, and all the people who moved to Qin Dynasty lived in Shu.

Xiang Yu defeated the Qin Army with fewer than more. But because he killed Song Yi, his hero, King Huaiwang of Chu, did not even supply him with military strength.

So Xiang Yus greatest resource at that time was the princes who supported him as the leader of the alliance.

Of course, he later used this resource to kill King Chuhuai.

If Xiang Yu killed Liu Bang, it might cause the people of the princes to be in danger, because King Huai of Chu said, The first to enter the Guanzhong is the king. It is obvious that Liu Bang entered the Guanzhong first, although he took advantage of Xiang Yu to drag out the Qin army.

But Xiang Yu bypassed the agreement and called herself king. (Negative)

So when Liu Bang was killed again, most of the princes would rebel against their own danger. (Fear of rebellion by princes)

So Xiang Yu sent Liu Bangfa to Sichuan.

Unfortunately, that place has been known as the Kings Land since ancient times.

Therefore, this matter has nothing to do with the face at all. It is the balance of interests made by the princes under the circumstances at that time.

The same is true of Toyoshi Xiuji who did not kill Tokugawa Jiakang.

But did Hou Liangping not pursue the question of secretary Dakangs wife?

Obviously not, because Secretary Dakangs personal wishes are negligible in the whole officialdom of the Hanjiang River.

The world of adults respects the background, strength and balance of interests of all parties, that is, universal rules.

Its not what people call emotions and attitudes.

A true and valuable friend cares about you whether he looks good or bad.

What you need to care about is his accomplishment, his three views and his emotional links.

Emotion is a catalyst for building relationships, not a sword that threatens them.

You have to understand one thing:

If you dont care about the emotions of unrelated people, it wont hurt you.

People always only need to care about one kind of persons mood, that is, the person who cares about you.

>02 <

Why do we meet so many moral kidnappers in our lives and always need to look at their faces?

Because you have a certain bullied character.

This trait is called You cant, I cant!

Japanese psychologists have discovered one thing.

Parents who are 0 to 6 years old often say to their children at the dinner table, You are not allowed to eat this!

It will have a great impact on the childs life.

For example, the children who come out of this kind of education mode have a high probability of being bullied on campus, reaching 40%.


Maybe parents say, You are not allowed to eat this! Its about caring for children.

But when parents say this request, they do not fully explain it to their children.

So the child will habitually ask before eating:

May I have this?

Obviously, parents will use their faces to answer whether he can or not!

Because they cant judge the correctness of their actions, they develop the subconscious character of judging things according to the faces of others.

Unfortunately, this character is not kind and sensible in other peoples eyes.

Its weak and deceptive.

Psychologists have also found that under too strict family education, a considerable number of people have developed this kind of flattering personality, and some people have learned to blackmail emotionally and become face kidnappers.

Psychologist Winconite even thought, Theres never been a baby!

What she means is that parents always treat their children as babies with no cognitive ability, because they only care about their physical feelings, not their emotional and social needs.

As a result, children develop a false ego that feels incapable or worthless.

>03 <

In fact, the person who is really worth deep acquaintance and reliable.

Often there is no need to look at his face.

When someone threatens you with emotion, it only means that he has nothing to restrict you except emotion.

Really powerful people are reluctant to provoke other peoples emotions, because this will lead to uncertainty.

For example, we often see on TV that criminals kidnap hostages.

The police often say, Put down your arms, youre surrounded!

In fact, the police would never say that.

The criminals must know that they are surrounded. If you say that again, it will only cause the criminals to panic and then disadvantage the hostages.

Recently, an 18-year-old man kidnapped a girl in Nanning Metro. After police persuaded her to be invalid for two hours, the man was killed remotely.

Many people leave messages on Weibo:

He is still a child, can you give him a chance, cant narcotic bomb, cant play an important position?

I explained to these people that Chinese police had injured the hands of criminals in the hostage-taking incident before.

Finally, the first policeman who rushed in to rescue the hostages died.

The police in Nanning have acted very correctly and decisively.

If shooting does not solve the problem, it will only cause bigger problems.

Really powerful people, when confronted with contradictions, must not say, If you go on like this, I will be angry! Thats what I said.

Such remarks fully exposed his lack of confidence and strength in controlling the situation.

I want to tell those students who like to look at their faces one thing.

Then you will only be hurt once and again, after all, human nature is self-interest.

Because the core of interpersonal communication is choice and balance, not escape.

For example, I wont lend money to a colleague I mentioned earlier, not because I didnt expect retaliation from her.

Its her revenge damage, which must be far lower than the half million I borrowed from her and probably wont come back.

Dont say half a million, five thousand is not worth it.

Many people are accustomed to flattering others because their subconscious mind allows them to only consider the attitude of the other party as the only indicator.

Obviously, my money is spent on micro classes, videos, and even on my own consumption.

Its more valuable than having such an unreliable friend.

In Tang Zhens Qianshu Eating Hardship, Qing Dynasty, there is such a sentence: As I am old, how can I bow down to other peoples world and look at their faces so that I cant touch them without touching them?

If someone cant restrict me, or have a lot of resources, I can ask for him.

Then Im old, smelly and stiff.