Knowing the hot words to hit parents, uncover how many people dare not say the hidden pain

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 Knowing the hot words to hit parents, uncover how many people dare not say the hidden pain


He asked for help knowingly: in order to encourage children to learn, he had promised to recharge more than 500 yuan for tas games.

Either they are distressed with money, or they are unwilling to recharge it into the game.

After the issue was released, more than 8 million browses were made, which triggered netizensmemories and complaints.

One

Unforgettable Childhood Shadow

Break the contract, parents have their own set.

Children dont really want much, maybe a bicycle, a guitar, a chance to go out and play.

When the task is really completed, the standard answer is generally:

Talk later.

From full expectation when promised to disappointment after being broken, the pit is dug by parents.

My parents promised to go to the sea together after the final exam. Now they have grown up and have not realized this wish.

Netizens describe their expectations/microblogs

This is indeed a common template for many parents to deal with their children.

Lin Miaomiao and his father agreed that if the exam progressed, there would be a prize of 1000 yuan.

Mother Lin said, If we make progress next time, we will give 200 yuan.

She didnt give her daughter a certainty about her progress, or even felt that she hadnt done enough.

Since hard work is such a fate, Lin Miaomiao completely abandoned himself.

There were parents who promised their children that they would buy computers in high school, but they never bought them.

Netizens say that although they can buy these things by themselves when they grow up, they will never forget the deception of their families.

Parents and children have natural ties, and blood ties bring trust.

Unfortunately, their desperate for money look is only a game in their eyes.

Typing to this point, I cried bitterly, I cant forget it.

Many parents think they have found out their childrens spleen and talked about the conditions over and over again.

Say 90 points for the exam and go to the amusement park. At last, its just a blank check.

Promise to buy luxury toy packages as long as one page is written every day. As a result, the child persisted for a year and said he would not buy them.

It seems to be taking a shortcut, but actually lifting a stone and throwing it at ones own feet.

He who defends himself denounces himself.

Not willing to fulfill their promises, but also to find an excuse for their own dishonesty.

There is a classic line in the Japanese opera Quartet: More sad than sorrow, empty joy.

Such a trifle will be forgotten in time.

According to the National Family Education Survey Report, among the fourth and eighth grade students, promising children cant do anything ranks first among parentsbad performance. Among the eighth grade students, parents dishonest behavior accounted for 63.7%.

The report also shows that parents rank first among childrens most respected role models and have far more influence than teachers.

How can a father/mother who always cheats children become a good example?

Why dont mom and dad talk right?

Is my effort not worth rewarding?

Why do they always lie? May I, too?

Who can I trust even if my parents lie to me?

Children lose trust in their parents

Promise freely, never fulfill, childrens expectations can only fail over and over again.

Psychologically, there is a concept called acquisitive helplessness, which refers to a persons helpless psychology and behavior in the face of problems after experiencing failures and setbacks.

The same applies to commitment.

The message of breaking the contract is that my parents dont keep their promises.

Over time, even if parents make other promises, children will no longer have expectations, because it will not be true anyway.

For children, what we do is far less important than what we do.

Parents who are always dishonest will lose persuasion if they want to educate their children in good faith.

Children learn to lie

Children in the learning stage will subconsciously imitate their parentsbehavior.

They told the children in the lie group that there was sugar in the room, and when they did go, they said there was no sugar, just invited them to play games.

In the other group, the experimenters did not mention sugar, but only said that there were games in the room to play.

Next, the experimenter left the room and asked the children to face the toys alone, and told them not to peek at the toys.

Finally, the experimenter asked the child if he had peeked at the toy.

Psychologists speculate that children may imitate lying, or that they do not think they need to be honest with people who cheat themselves.

When those promises are not fulfilled, the various reasons that parents seek will one day become excuses for children to cheat.

Psychologist Wu Zhihong said: The relationship model between parents and children is the basis of the relationship between children and others, as well as the personality and emotional quotient of children.

Long-term experience of deception by parents, childrens interpersonal interaction is also vulnerable to be affected.

Chen Meiling, an education doctor from Stanford University, once warned her parents:

Chen Meiling talks about family education: parents try not to lie to their children

She mentioned in the interview that if a child feels youre lying, he cant trust anybody for a long time.

Childrens trust in their parents is innate, but not eternal. It needs to be managed.

Three

Third-rate parents rely on deception; second-rate parents talk about conditions.

First-class parents should at least set an example.

Education is never a simple thing.

If you have to find a template, some things must be done.

If you cant make a promise, dont make it easy. If you make a promise, try your best to accomplish it.

In The Reader, Li Yapengs remark touched her very much.

Li Yapengs Daughter Li Yan/The Reader

When will Dong Qinghe be in the future?

Parents who like to educate their children with words and deeds should be more strict with themselves.

Mothers have other things temporarily, and they dont forget their promises to their children.

In If, Love, Cecilia Cheungs mother keeps her promise to her children

In real life, more children are waiting for:

Sorry, mom is too busy, next time must be...

Liu Na did not promise. She explained her short departure to her son several days ahead of schedule.

For the first time, the child cried, unwilling;

When parents squat down and stand at the height of their children, they will find that:

They are not easy to promise what they are not competent for.

Once you promise someone, you wont let the other person, the person you trust, break the contract.

Reference:

[3] Zhang Gan, Feng Wenquan. Cultivating childrens integrity in family education [J]. Preschool Education Research, 2005, (3): 57-58.DOI: 10.3969/j.issn.1007-8169.2005.03.020.

[4] Robert Trivers. The ignorance of fools [M]. Machinery Industry Press, 2016:252.

[5] Jane Nelson. Positive Discipline [M]. Jinghua Publishing House, 2009:276.

[6] Wu Zhihong. Why does home hurt people [M]. Beijing Joint Publishing Company, 2014:314.

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