Child, you have the right not to make friends with anyone.

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 Child, you have the right not to make friends with anyone.


Source | Deep parenting (ID: baomabaobao)

My son and I were playing ball on the court, and a couple of neighbors, mother and son, stood quietly on the sideline sometime.

The little boy looks about the same age as my family, about 5 or 6 years old.

Mama may be a little depressed, and her voice began to rise: To be friends with others is a good child! Come on!

The child began to cry.

I knew the little fellow couldnt explain clearly, so I squatted down and tried to ask him, Do you want to play ball with us?

In fact, I would like to tell the mother that this is not a simple change of opinion, but the thinking behind it is different.

No parents do not love their children. However, if we do not understand children, we will love inaccurately, love utilitarianism, love deformity.

After all, people always think that children must have some children who play together. Otherwise, children will feel unhappy in life, so that they are depressed and lonely, affecting their future growth.

But if we understand children, we will know that the world for children is very simple, but also very essential: the table is the table, without giving other meanings, caterpillars are caterpillars, without giving other meanings. Friends are friends, and they have no other meaning.

In their eyes, everything in the world is the same.

He wants to play football with other children, just playing football. Children do not associate the social attributes behind this behavior.

If this happens more often, the child may not cry, but learn to accept and obey the will imposed on him by adults in silence.

02

This film records a young girl who has been independent since childhood. Her nickname is 11.

She eats, sleeps and plays alone. The teacher was afraid that her personality would become introverted and isolated, which was not conducive to her growth, so he persuaded her to make more friends.

How do you answer one by one? She said, I like to play by myself. I think its good to play by myself. Everyone has his own choice. I have this right.

Standing behind one by one, she deeply understands and supports her mother.

Instead of blindly anxious and blaming, mothers treat her equally from the perspective of their children.

Growing up in such a fully understood environment, she went to elementary school, promoted to junior high school, understood the meaning of the group, and had her own friends, but she still enjoyed the time of being alone.

It can be predicted that one who grows up gradually has a really strong spiritual core and inner world.

And those who possess this trait will laugh at the end of a rainy life.

For example: Gao Xiaosong and Zhang Shaohan.

In such a society, he can make a beautiful turnaround by virtue of his talent and efforts. In the chair, as a judge and other areas of full blossom.

Younger than Gao Xiaosong, but Angela Chang, who had the same rough experience in life, also spoke bluntly at the Tucao conference. Not my friends are few, but my definition of friends is different. Although my friends have many roads to go, I do not need to give my friends to build roads, and I have wings myself.

Her nearly ten minutes of Tucao speech received a lot of affirmation and praise from netizens. She was praised as too cool, appreciate this cool girl, Zhang Shaohan is being herself!

Of course, we cant say that people who can turn upside down dont need friends.

You want your child to grow up to find the most suitable way for him to have a positive relationship with the society. Its very simple but important to respect his willingness to choose friends for himself in his early years.

04

Sun Yunxiao, an educator, once said, The essence of family education is to change parents themselves, and the key to this change is to grow up with children voluntarily and consciously.

If we can do this, we wont feel so panicked and anxious when the child asks, Can I not be friends with this child? and dont know how to answer it.

The two children laughed and ran away with each other on their shoulders.

Our two middle-aged mothers smiled comfortably behind them.

You see, as long as we fully understand and respect children, they can also rely on their own strength, through the psychological shore, across the cognitive shore.

They have achieved the rule of making friends. Yes, not knowing, but doing it. And this is the nature of the child.

finish

Many friends say they cant find Mr.

In fact, its easy to find just by adding star marks.

A kind of

Yi Linglong, Mr. Handbook Invited Author, Happy Working Mother, National Third-Level Public Relations Officer, American Positive Correctional Practitioner, Child Psychology Enthusiast, Source: Deep Parenting (ID: baomabaobao), Every day to share with you a deep, attitudinal parenting knowledge.