The sun has risen, and sunlight is shining through the glass into the room. On the white wall, there is a calligraphy of love is enduring patience. Yang Lijuan became obsessed with Hongkong star Andy Lau from the age of 16. After that, he dropped out of school in the middle school, and collected information about Andy Lau. In order to help women catch up with stars, father Yang Qinji sold houses, borrowed money, and even tried to sell his kidneys. Finally, because his daughter could not see Andy Lau alone, Yang Qinji committed suicide in Hongkong in March 26, 2007. The death of her father became the indelible mark of Yang Lijuan. She became the man who killed her father in order to catch up with the stars. Yang Lijuan lost his fathers support and was very sorry. Since then, she has shut herself up, rejected all media interviews and disappeared from public view. Now, the father left 11 years, Yang Lijuan and mother life how, have not come out from that shadow, the star of the year has been deeply reflected on... Sometimes I want to know my own suffering. I dont need all the people in the world to know. 11 years after the disappearance of public vision, in an exclusive interview with Red Star News, Yang Lijuan first confided for so many years and faced the past. To speak out of mind, feel a lot easier. She said. Yang Lijuan now. Pictures from Red Star News Shopping Guide An unstable job During the morning wash, Yang Lijuan was careful to disturb Tao Juying, who was sleeping in the living room. After eating the steamed bread and drinking the water, Yang Lijuan walked out of the house with his black bag. Its 8:31 in the morning. Yang Lijuan works in the urban area of Lanzhou, more than 20 kilometers away from the residence. It needs two buses and more than an hour to get there. Yang Lijuan goes to work by bus. Pictures from Red Star News At 9:50, Yang Lijuans bus arrived at the South Road exit. She was behind a group of people and got off the car. Crossing a T-shaped road is Yang Lijuans shopping mall. Wearing orange hats and orange aprons, Yang Lijuan removed several different flavors of potatoes from the box on the plate and sold potato chips to the past customers. Yang Lijuan is not a formal employee in the shopping mall, but a temporary shopping guide in the market. Yang Lijuan has been a shopping guide in this shopping mall for more than two years. The shopping guide stops from 10 in the morning to 7 in the evening, and has 1 hours meals on the way, which rewards 90 to 100 yuan a day. The buyers work is very unstable, a manufacturers normal activity cycle, usually in 10 to 14 days, so every time before the end of the factory activities, contact the next manufacturer on the continued, or will be unemployed, sometimes the end of the end of the activity said, do not give a little preparation time, sometimes even 10 days and half months do not continue to continue. In the heart, the heart will be very flustered. Yang Lijuan is now in the job of the manufacturer, catch up with the manufacturers promotion week, just finished green bean sales promotion, and then do potato chips promotion, so Yang Lijuan has almost 20 days did not rest. After work, Yang Lijuan sat on the chair of the shopping mall for a rest. Pictures from Red Star News At lunch time, she liked to go to a miscellaneous noodle shop across the mall and eat 12 yuan and a bowl of potato silk. Sometimes she didnt eat anything. She sat on the stone stool in the square, took a cup of water with a cup, and walked around the square to see the dove on the square. It was only at this time that she felt relaxed. An invisible circle Its easy to work in a unit. She missed the days when she worked in a media company years ago. The media company was Yang Lijuans first job. In the fifth year of her fathers death, Yang Lijuan received the call from the media company owner and invited her to work for the company. There, she had a happy time. Usually work is to sort out documents, clean offices, monthly wages of 3000 yuan. At that time, the media company gathered a group of young people with literature and art. Yang Lijuan often sang and danced and joined them with them. But she always felt that she couldnt get into it. They all have culture. They are with them, although they are good to me, but they are still separated from each other. In 2013, the media company went bankrupt. In order to make a living, Yang Lijuan only got the shopping malls as the shopping guide for the manufacturers. Until now, Yang Lijuan still cant use computers or play games. Recently, manufacturers need to go to work with a watermark camera to take pictures and hit cards. She often doesnt know how to use it. Sometimes she sits on the bus at the end of work and doesnt think about it. Yang Lijuan is going to take a photo and get out of work. Pictures from Red Star News A very simple life In the eyes of her colleagues, Yang Lijuan is a smiling, easy-going person. Everyone knows her past, but she never mentioned it. Xiaoli, who is a colleague of Yang Lijuan, said she did not know Yang Lijuan before knowing Yang Lijuan. On the first day of her work, she asked Yang Lijuan how old she was, how old she was, how old she was, and how old she was. She didnt think of Yang Lijuan, who was smiling at the first second. She pulled up a face in a moment and no longer said a word to her. I was indescribable at that time, and then I knew from other colleagues in the mall that Yang Lijuan didnt like to ask her these things. Said with Xiao Li. Over the years, apart from colleagues, Yang Lijuan did not have a friend. Everyday life was to go to work, work and go home. Occasionally, they will go shopping and buy discount goods. Clothes, cosmetics, and one set will not exceed 200 yuan. Over the years, she was casual and did not like to dress up, only two clothes changed. I and my mother live on the income of about 2000 yuan a month. What money do you have? And theres no time to get dressed up. Now, she lives in a low rent apartment with one bedroom and one hall. She sleeps in her bedroom and her mother sleeps in the living room. In Yang Lijuans home, there was no other household appliances except a fully automatic washing machine sent by others. Although life is monotonous and not rich, Yang Lijuan is satisfied with his life now. Familiar melodies, different flurried Yang Lijuan has a red Walkman at the head of her bed. She has been accustomed to listening to radio programs in the morning and before going to bed at night. After getting up in April 26th, she opened her Walkman as usual, and came to the familiar melody over there: Oh, a quiet little village, a stupid kid, born in the land zero years... She felt a little flustered, and turned the volume up to the smallest, as if her mother were listening to her thoughts in the living room. How can it be possible? She was no longer Yang Lijuan of the year. She was very calm, no longer listening to his (Andy Lau) songs, not watching his films, and what he had nothing to do with her. But at the moment, her heart was somehow dragged back to those crazy years ago. Yang Lijuan. Pictures from Red Star News It all has to come from that dream. One morning at the age of 15, Yang Lijuan described her father as a dream. In her dream, she had a picture of Andy Lau. The pictures were written on both sides: you came close to me and you met me. After listening to his father, he said he had done a dream exactly like his daughter. According to media reports, after waking up, Yang Lijuan swore that I would never marry anyone without Andy Lau. From then on, Andy Laus concert on television became a daily compulsory course for Yang Lijuan. The walls of the room were filled with Andy Lau pictures cut from various entertainment magazines, and the home was full of Andy Laus tapes. But the letters Yang Qinji had left behind had always said, our children have never been a fan or a star. She is familiar with Andy Lau from years of dreams, as a family member, a member of his family, like a big brother that has not been seen for many years, no money, no picture name, no graphic profit. In 2004, Andy Lau had been filmed in Gansu for the film the world without Thieves. Yang Lijuan often stood on the 9 floor of his house, one stop all day, looking forward to seeing Andy Laus motorcade and hearing Andy Lau calling her name. Fathers death, grief and remorse Thereafter, in order to see Andy Lau, Yang Lijuan went to Beijing 6 times with his parents and went to Hong Kong for the 3 time. The high cost has already left the family burdened with debts. Home less than 40 square meters of the house easy to master, Yang Qin Hebei even have the idea of selling kidneys, because the accused is known to be illegal, the whole family has been wandering, several times to move. In the early morning of March 26, 2007, Yang Qinji left his 7 page suicide note, which had already been prepared, because his daughter Yang Lijuan had not met Andy Lau alone. The sudden departure of his father gave Yang Lijuan an unprecedented blow. She became one of the hottest topics of the year. Whether it is the Internet or the reality, everyone is discussing and judging her, thinking it is her irrationality and killing her father. After returning to her home in Lanzhou, she shut herself in a small house and tearly her face all day. At that time, she had to wear a hat and cover up her face. Yang Lijuan said. Later, in grief, Yang Lijuan wrote a letter to his father: My dearest understanding of my father, my daughter miss you, when you leave me, how I regret, I very regret what I did, regret not to cherish you. Often recall the days with you, I know that is the most valuable and happy memory of my life, you paid too much for your daughter, too much, is my own stubbornness with you, my daughter owes you, I am sorry you, you are selfless love to save me, now daughter has awakened. Dad, I promise you, I will live well and take care of myself. Every year Qingming, Yang Lijuan will buy a bunch of flowers, worship his father, talk with his father about psychological words. Tangle between right and wrong Im so selfish that Im tired of my family. In recent years, when new fans are born, the name of Yang Lijuan will always appear and be compared with others. Yang Lijuan has been reflecting on it. She is very sorry for her past behavior. I was too selfish to drag on my family. In April 22nd, Yang Lijuan was more than 20 minutes late because of a traffic jam. On the same day, the manufacturer was just there and arranged some work with her. Near noon, a couple of young men and women, pushing a few months old, passed through her, and the woman said to the man, this is the Yang Lijuan who liked Andy Lau, and finally he killed his father, and the man turned to look at Yang Lijuan. They speak in a small voice, but they are heard by Yang Lijuan. When customers often pick things out, ask me if Im not Yang Lijuan, most people still understand that its not easy to buy a few things to support, and some good people will give money and send clothes. For this wish to come to this day, I do not know where it is wrong. For many years, in the reflection, Yang Lijuan thought that he was not reasonable enough, but she always thought that, in this case, she was right, like a person, there is nothing wrong. At the beginning, my idea was very simple, that was to see Andy Lau, but there was a lot of obstruction to us. If the media had coordinated us as promised before the interview, I had said that the meeting would not have anything to do with him, but it was the little wish that never realized. The tragedy of redemption. Yang Lijuan said she did not know where she was going to this day for this wish. Why are there so many people attacking me, even if the whole world doesnt understand me, I dont care, but you (Andy Lau) cant treat me like that. As your fans, you should speak up instead of talking about language like filial piety. In 2006, when the Yang Lijuan incident poked the media for the first time, Andy Lau criticized Yang Lijuan as incorrect, abnormal, unhealthy and unfilial by his agent and appealed to her to stop the fire. After Yang Fu jumped into the sea in 2007, Andy Lau responded in an interview: I think that is a very specific example. I think she needs to be concerned. She may be a mental illness or something. She should not be put in the public focus to see her. What she needs more is professional help. According to media reports, Andy Lau also paid an anonymous $11 thousand loan shark for Yang Lijuan. This has been confirmed by Yang Lijuan himself. However, Yang Lijuan also acknowledged that the pursuit of the star did not bring so many difficulties to the family. It is my fault, but it does not mean that it is all my fault. If the media does not push the flames, it will not develop to that extent. Yang Lijuan in contemplation. Pictures from Red Star News Yang Lijuan, more angry, was a television station in order to interview her, said that she could see Andy Lau, when she believed, with them to interview and shoot, they led a fake Andy Lau (Mo Fangxiu). Looking back at that meeting, Yang Lijuan still remembered a lot of details. At the first time, she was seen through the imitation show. She sat there without saying anything. The imitation show said that none of his fans was excited and asked why Yang Lijuan didnt respond. Yang Lijuan said, the reason is very simple, because he is not he, like neither. The program group and the mime went to the door for a long time, but Yang Lijuan refused to see him again. I dont want to star. I want to see Andy Lau again. Later, with the help of the media and the community, Yang Lijuan met Andy Lau in Hongkong and took a group photo with Andy Lau. As for Yang Lijuans request to meet again, a spokesman for the Andy Lau manager said in front of this reporter that Yang Lijuans will to see Andy Lau had been reached in March 25, 2007 and could not be provided for some of her unusual requirements. Yang Lijuan said, if there was a chance to meet, she would tell Andy Lau, you had treated us like that, you were wrong, because my first wish was to see you. Now, Yang Lijuan still wants to meet Andy Lau, but the voice has just fallen, and she added, Im sure Im not going to chase the star anymore, but Ill think of those past as a memory. To the social star, she doesnt want to say, every time someone else lets say this, Im quite contradictory. It seems that people take me as the opposite, go to education or tell others, this is the fate of the star, but from the heart, I hope they dont give stars to mythology and worship, because they are not you. The imagination is so perfect. Yang Lijuan shed tears when he mentioned the past events at dinner. Pictures from Red Star News Over the past 10 years, Yang Lijuan has gone through the days of a few days of collapse. She is determined to settle with the past and return to normal life. Three days a week, she goes to a place near work to take part in music activities. Yang Lijuan said that she really did not want to cry out again, I am love, I loved and chased after. For the future, she said, I am not very old at this age, and I do not think much about anything. After saying this, her eyes were full of tears and her face was haggard. But I dont regret it, because this is the way I choose. The source of this article: Red Star News Editor: Zhao Yaping _NN9005 Yang Lijuan said that she really did not want to cry out again, I am love, I loved and chased after. For the future, she said, I am not very old at this age, and I do not think much about anything.