Friends circle sun babies suffered diss again, parents complained: sun babies in the end how to sun? Visual Chinese Mapping
School has finally begun, but its quiet. Beijing sixth grade parents Zhang Rong said.
This winter vacation, Zhang Rong cancelled the plan of taking the children to travel because of family affairs. As a result, she even said that she was battered by the fancysunbathing dollof a circle of friends for a whole winter vacation. At the beginning of winter vacation, the circle of friends is to expose childrens grades and ranks, and the title of three good students and civilized students. Just after the end of this wave, the tourists began to bask in the sun again. They drove on the west coast of the United States, watched the snow in Hokkaido, and took a walk in Hawaii. Seeing that school was about to start, some people began to study hard in the training class. Looking at other peoples colorful vacation life, I feel that I am scum: I cant arrange a good vacation for my children; I also feel scum: How can I be inferior to other peoples children? Zhang Rong said.
Friendship circle has almost become an integral part of modern life, many people record and share their lives in the circle of friends, which is justifiable. An open platform, you share and I watch, in this role exchange, modern people completed the social interaction.
However, when sharing becomes a show-off sunshine, it will arouse disgust.
Especially the parents of this generation, who are mainly the Post-70s and post-80s, are well educated themselves, and their parenting process catches up with the emergence of the educational concept blowout and is armed to the teeth by many educational theories. They try to cultivate better children than themselves, which makes these parents more sensitive. Therefore, when sharing becomes ostentatious, contradictions arise.
Recently, China Youth Daily Zhongqing Online reporters earnestly watch several sun babies. When we focus our attention on sun babies and sun babies parents with an exploratory attitude, you will be able to experience behind the lively circle of friends the five tastes of sour or bitter, but also can deeply feel the many emotions aroused by sun babies, in addition to blessings and envy. Theres a lot of anxiety.
Sweet to sour are appropriate other peoples dolls
If you have to categorize the circles of friends, children are still very different before and after school. Before going to school, parents often expose little drops of their childrens growth. A picture or a sentence reveals the joy and emotion of parents. The onlookers also sincerely praise them. Even a look can instantly germinate a group of visitors. At this time, the circle of friends is full of peaceful sweet taste.
However, once the children go to school, and then sun the baby, it is much more complex.
Before the Spring Festival, Mr. Du took some pictures of his sons reading in his circle of friends. There were standing, squatting and Ge Yous paralysis. At that time, I felt that the children always sat in school regularly. After the holiday, they finally relaxed. Even reading a book, they could pose in many positions.
Unexpectedly, one of the pictures happened to capture several certificates on the wall of the childs bedside. As a result, the parents in the friends list were immediately stimulated, and the commentary area was filled with words like children from other families, cow dolls and certificates from one wall.
Mr. Du originally wanted to use his sons fancy posture to record the moments of humor, while the inadvertent pictures of reading anywhere and anytime and the wall-studded awards became the symbol of other peoples children.
Perhaps this kind of inadvertently reveals the most lethal information, commentary area sweet in the pan of acid.
It is said that the children of other families are the biggest enemy of every child and the biggest weapon of every parent. But in fact, in the online life of the circle of friends, this weapon first hurts the parents.
Ive had several impulses to close my circle of friends. Ren Min, a Beijing parent, said.
Ren Min has a son who just went to elementary school. His son is a slow-fever type. In addition, Ren Min and his wifes indifferent personality make his son more relaxed and comfortable than many children of the same age. At the same time, the childrens adaptation period from kindergarten to elementary school is a bit long.
On several occasions, the school teacher found Ren Min in school, put the work of other classmates in class with Ren Mins son, let Ren Min see the gap between his children and other children, I am worried, but I know the characteristics of his son, he worked very hard, every assignment is very serious, there are many times the reason why his work is not qualified is that he made the rubber too hard, rubbed the paper. Plus, hes a curious kid, curious about everything. I believe he can learn well, maybe just a little slower. Ren Min said.
Recently, however, Ren Min is not calm.
Ren Mins two friendschildren are the same age as their sons, and they are also in the first grade of primary school. One shows her son playing the piano at level 6, the other shows her daughter winning a prize in the Singapore Dance Competition, the other shows her daughter reading Elon Musks biography in bed with a fever, and the other exposes her sons Olympic number problem just solved... About the same working and sleeping time, Ren Min found that the more he just wanted to relax on the Internet to help his son exhausted, the more he could see the two friends sun babies and biwa.
They say that children should wait for flowers to blossom quietly, but these babies seem to tell you that every flower around you has blossomed, only your one hasnt blossomed yet. Ren Min said.
Ren Min wants to close the circle of friends, while some people want to pull back a game, try every possible way to find the shining spot on their children, and publicly sun out in the circle of friends.
Now the circle of friends provides us with a way of interpersonal communication in the information age. Zhang Lingling, a teacher from China Childrens Center, said in a telephone interview with a reporter from China Youth Daily, China Youth Online. Although the way people socialize is by no means just online, because the circle of friends can appear anywhere and anytime, people mistakenly think that this is the whole truth of our lives.
In this way, in real life, there are still scattered and delicate flowers blooming in the circle of friends.
Can parents remain calm?
Happiness to bitterness deliberately flaunt and lead to group attack
It should be said that the majority of parents in the circle of friends sun babies are not to show off, or at least not just to show off.
However, in some specific groups of parents, some people seem to be a little unscrupulous.
Deng Shens children are now in the second grade of junior high school. When they were in primary school, he formed a small group of 67 parents. Its not only convenient for us to communicate, but also convenient for us to organize children to go out and play.
Since middle school, children have entered different middle schools, and they have little chance to play. However, the group is still lively, parents in the group to share their childrens school curriculum progress, good learning experience, various channels to inquire about the gossip...
But this harmony was broken a month after the children entered middle school.
A parent suddenly sent his childs score, total score, class and grade in a stage examination just finished into the group. The results are really good, not only are almost every subject above 90 points, but also the ranking is quite beautiful: the first in the class, the tenth in the grade.
All of a sudden, the crowd boiled, everyone congratulated, and asked the parents for educational experience.
But the next scene was a little awkward. The parents suddenly @ one of the parents in the group, let him also shine on the childrens achievements, the circle of the parents euphemistically pushed off several times, but still failed, had to expose their childrens achievements. Then the parent @another parent...
You cant base your happiness on the pain of others. Deng Shen said that other parents have the same opinion, but because of their face, they are still at peace in the group.
A month later, the parents threw their childrens achievements into the group, and the childrens achievements were still proud. This time, parentscongratulations were less sincere.
Since then, the group set up by Deng Shen has ceased to be lively and has become a monthly parade for the parents.
One show-off is show-off, two become intentional show-off, three become pull hatred... Finally, at the end of the first grade of junior high school, Deng Shen, at the unanimous request of all parents, kicked the parade madman out of the group.
Parents use their childrens success to prove that they are harmful to their children.
Psychologically, there is a concept called `parental self-esteem based on childrens performance, which means that parents regard childrens performance as a key indicator to evaluate themselves. Sun Liping, Ph.D. in Psychology, Beijing Normal University and Ph.D. in Education, Capital Normal University, who is currently working at the Family Education Research Center of Capital Normal University, said in a telephone interview with China Youth Daily, Zhongqing Online. Some parents regard their childrens progress and success (such as good exam results) as their own success, while if their childrens performance is not good or backward, parents think they have failed. This shows parentsimmaturity, lack of self-confidence and self-awareness.
If a parent blurs the boundaries between himself and his child, its easy for him to think that the child is me, and that I am the child, then he will see sunning the child as a way to prove his self-worth. Mr. Zhang Lingling said.
However, when many parents use sunning children to reflect their value, children become victims. The more parents want to succeed, the harder the children will work. They become accessories to decorate their parentsvalue, so their own value is ignored.
Never be a lazy parent. Sun Liping said. Parents should first do well in themselves. They should be conscientious, diligent and diligent in their work and life. Parents do themselves well, of course, to straighten out the relationship between themselves and their children. Not only does it recognize that the process of childrens growth is a process of gradual separation from their parents. At the same time, we should also realize that we are an independent individual and have a complete life. We should also make our life meaningful, whether it is life or work. Sun Liping said. When parents are aware of this, they can not only treat their children objectively, but also their children objectively. They cant pay too much attention to their children and expose their babies to the sun. They cant panic because of the excellence of other children and see their children as nothing. Source: Chi Guojie_NBJ11143, responsible editor of China Youth Daily
Never be a lazy parent. Sun Liping said. Parents should first do well in themselves. They should be conscientious, diligent and diligent in their work and life.
Parents do themselves well, of course, to straighten out the relationship between themselves and their children. Not only does it recognize that the process of childrens growth is a process of gradual separation from their parents. At the same time, we should also realize that we are an independent individual and have a complete life. We should also make our life meaningful, whether it is life or work. Sun Liping said.
When parents are aware of this, they can not only treat their children objectively, but also their children objectively. They cant pay too much attention to their children and expose their babies to the sun. They cant panic because of the excellence of other children and see their children as nothing.